The Wringer Chronicles: An Introduction

[Originally posted 2/21/09] Years ago, when I told my friend Katie that I was a kinetic learner, she asked me how that applied to my Christian walk. "Trials," I immediately replied.

You see, a kinetic (or kinesthetic) learner is one who learns by doing. As opposed to visual learners and audio learners, we kinetic learners have to really get our hands on something to understand a new concept. I know for me, repetition is essential, and I often ask a lot of questions. If I'm learning something new on the job, I won't strain my brain too much when someone's explaining something new to me, and I just take notes to refer to later, because I'm probably not going to understand it until I go back to my cubicle and try it for myself. (And it might take several tries before the light bulb clicks on in my brain. And then it stays on.)

So, as a Christian, I can sit my butt in church or go home and read my Bible about how God is good or about how I need to trust Him or about how I need to show compassion to people and forgive them -- and it may take a while for the truth to click on in my brain, heart, and soul. Sometimes, I let the Holy Spirit speed things along by teaching me what I need to know right away, kind of like how the computer programs were downloaded directly into people's minds on The Matrix. (Wasn't that cool??) But there are lots of times when maybe God knows it'll need to soak in a little longer for me. So, He lets trials come. For instance, if I need to know that God is Provider -- maybe I'll have trouble paying a bill -- then sometime later, He'll provide the money after I ask Him for it and wait for it, and I'll remember the truth that God is my Provider. (This particular truth has required lots of repetition for me! I wish the light bulb would stay on!)

Trials teach you what God is like, and they refine all the crap out of you. A very simple concept that's often taught in church is that if you squeeze something, its contents will squirt out. Like, if I'm an orange, if you squeeze me, you'll get orange juice. Or if I've got bitterness, fear, or insecurity building up inside me and I don't know it yet, a trial can squeeze that junk right out. For instance, if you happen to get a 2nd-degree burn on your thumb while you're cooking dinner one night, do you shout profanities and curse God? or do you pray for healing and come home from the emergency room exhausted but thankful? and wiser?

My point is that God uses trials to make us more like Jesus and draw us closer to Him, if we respond the right way. God didn't burn my thumb -- I did, and it was an accident -- but He used the situation to strengthen my faith. (And I also learned what oven mitts are for. And my thumb healed very nicely, hallelujah. :))

So, when I say that I'm going through the wringer, that means that God's got me in a trial or series of trials to see what I'm made of, squeeze all the junk out, and make me stronger in Him. I have a feeling that a good chunk of 2009 may be like this for me, and I would like to share this journey with you. I'm in uncharted territory, and I think I'm going to learn lots of new things about how God made me and how Jesus can live His life through me. I'm probably going to write a lot about my emotional healing. I think some old issues that I thought were resolved are still lingering, and some new issues may have cropped up.

In the past, when I've gone through trials and haven't responded the right way (i.e., haven't taken my pain to Jesus or trusted Him), it's led to depression (a slimy pit that I don't want to go back to). But that was the past. I'm a newly reconstructed creature who knows who her Heavenly Daddy is. And as an aspiring writer, I've learned to channel the angst into a healthy expression. Hopefully. :)

So, if you think Christians are supposed to be happy all the time, boy are you in for a surprise. :) For the record, yes, Christians aren't supposed to be depressed, because in Christ, we've got access to all the joy, peace, and love we could ever need! But God knows our hearts, and He wants us to be honest with Him and pour it all out to Him. We have Somebody to run to when we're hurting.

I'm probably going to be very vulnerable and share some private information in this blog series (well, about as private as you can get on the internet), so please don't be cruel. :) If you've ever wondered what goes on behind my smile or behind that overly pensive look I get on my face sometimes, you're about to get some answers.

Dear readers, I offer you... THE WRINGER CHRONICLES.