Last week, Miley made the news when she voiced support for gay marriage during a Twitter conversation. She basically said that in the Bible, it says that God loves us, created us equally, and that we should all be happy. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like Miley has read the entire Bible; or if she has, she seems to subscribe to a casual do-whatever-you-want-as-long-as-you're-happy attitude that the world in general has.
Her comments concern me because she's wildly popular. I'm almost twice her age, so her beliefs don't exactly shape my mind, but I'm sure tons of impressionable teens and tweens look up to her.
Granted, her statements were partially correct. I agree that yes, God loves us. That's in His very nature (1 John 4:16), and it's something He demonstrated by sacrificing His only Son Jesus for us (John 3:16, 1 John 4:10). Yes, He wants us to be happy and enjoy the life He's given us (Ecclesiastes 4:13, Psalm 36:8). But hopefully, anyone who was raised by loving parents can vouch for the fact that just because your father loves you doesn't necessarily mean he lets you do whatever you want, just so you can be happy.
Incidentally, not everything that makes you happy is a good thing. Or legal. What if stealing things or killing people made me happy? Would that make it OK? Not to mention, being devoted to your own happiness is called Hedonism. Being devoted to Christ is called Christianity.
The problem is that God is holy, perfect, a consuming fire. He doesn't tolerate sin, and anyone who wants to be right with Him needs to be willing to let Him get rid of any sin in their lives (Luke 9:23).
One of my gay friends who found me on Facebook zealously requested last November that whoever didn't support gay marriage needed to remove themselves from his friends list. So, regretfully, I did. He's a Christian also, so we had a rather lengthy debate via email about gay marriage and homosexuality in general. Unfortunately, he didn't believe that all of the Bible is still relevant today. I know that there are a few passages that don't really apply to contemporary times anymore, but to me, they seem kind of obvious (i.e., owning slaves, women not speaking in churches, men having several wives and concubines simultaneously). Sometimes when you read the Bible, though, I think you need to take into consideration how often something is mentioned. For instance, I think women being forbidden to speak in churches is only mentioned once (1 Corinthians 14:34), while God loving all of humanity is mentioned so many times that it would probably take me hours to type in all the references I could find (I only listed 3 of them above). Homosexuality is one of those issues that's pretty consistent throughout the Bible as being wrong, and marriage is never referred to as a same-sex relationship (i.e., Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Leviticus 20:13, Genesis 2:24).
Not to pick on homosexuality. I consider it a sin just as I would any other (I've listed 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 above). And just like with any other sin, God is more than willing and capable of removing it from the life of anyone who lets Him (1 John 1:8-9).
And I've struggled with same-sex attraction myself. I know how confusing and crazy your emotions can get when you're lonely, another human being accepts you and wants to nurture you, and you suddenly want to worship the ground they walk on. But God is the only One who's really worthy of being worshiped (Exodus 20:3, Psalm 2:11-12, Psalm 46:10, Philippians 2:9-11). If you're hurting, He wants to heal it and make it better (Psalm 147:3). If you're lonely, He wants to be near you (Psalm 34:15-18). If there's anything you need, He wants to provide it for you (Psalm 145:15-16, Psalm 63:1-5). If there's a war raging inside you, He wants to make it stop (Psalm 46:9).
(OK, I know, I read the Psalms a lot. :) And for the record, I'm straight. When I'm alone at night, I long for the company of a man, not a woman.)
I hope it's clear that I don't hate gay people and that I'm not just trying to kill people's happiness. I'm just concerned that our society has an attitude about homosexuality that's been getting more and more casual, even in the church. Sorry, Miley, but you can't always have the best of both worlds.
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Tirzah, I appreciate your perspective. I don't know if this is helpful, but I did learn something about same-sex interest in my life (not really attraction) that might shed a little light, but do I know your upbringing was different than mine. I read a book in my 40s about mother loss, and it really helped me understand my fascination with my college friends (not really attraction but strongly interested in how they acted. dressed, etc). Not having that loving female role model in my life after I was 9, I was at a loss at to what a woman was supposed to be, and in college, when I finally got around some loving Christian women, I was really drawn toward watching and spending time with them, and I loved being hugged and treated with affection. I was so hungry for affection, didn't do anything inappropriate. I learned much from those women, and later, from some moms who mentored me, and I feel much more feminine now, although I still think I'm not all that typical of a female. It wasn't until I read about the "woman hunger" of a motherless daughter that I really understood that phase of my life. I was drawn to women but always attracted to men. I wonder if women who have mothers who are not nurturing (and I don't know, really, how you would classify yours) go through that same desire to really get close to a warm, loving female. Does that make sense? Thanks for sharing. And I am looking forward to Kairos 2, which I plan to attend in September.
ReplyDeleteCool, thanks for your perspective, my friend. :) I've had a ton of healing and have learned a ton about myself and my issues since I wrote this post 4 years ago. Not wishing to dishonor anyone, just being honest, I was raised by an effeminate dad and a macho mom, so my concept of gender has been rather warped. I don't believe I bonded properly with my birth mother when I was an infant, and I think perhaps she overcompensated later by being codependent. At any rate, I was ravenously hungry for female affection and comfort, but I didn't realize it, so my pattern was to become codependent and have soul ties with dominant, nurturing women. God also showed me that homosexuality was a generational iniquity that I had inherited. So, I learned firsthand that if you've got all that stuff inside you, and add some violations from other people down the road, and voila, a multitude of soul-disasters waiting to happen. I needed to let God uninstall the software inside me that didn't need to be there. Now if the devil tries to run the program, he'll get error messages. :) Bottom line: I need to pursue God, who is the main One who will meet any kind of deep need, and who will always be faithful to show me anything inside me that needs to be drained out, disposed of, realigned, or straightened. Pun not intended. :) And He can always meet any father or mother needs that I have, because He's the perfect, most nurturing Parent. :)
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