Equilibrium: The Sequel

Slippery winter weather inspired me to write about equilibrium again. (For reference, please see my blog entry from 12/14/10.) For now, at least between my home and my job, the roads are mostly dry and travelable. However, many of the sidewalks and parking lots are not. Last night after work, while I was carefully walking from my car to my apartment on some iced-over grass, I fell on my knee. It smarted at first, but my thermals cushioned the fall nicely. This morning on the way to work, while I was carefully walking from my apartment to my car, I fell on the side of my butt. It still smarts a tiny bit, but not badly. Actually, the second fall happened barely a few feet away from the original fall, and I’m pretty sure I exclaimed, “Not again!” on my way down.

After I got to work and removed my gloves, I noticed a bruise on the palm of my hand. It’s almost an inch long; you can see me displaying it in the picture above. I’m guessing my hand thwacked on the icy pavement during my fall, because I don’t remember it hurting at first. If I push on it really hard, it hurts, but otherwise it doesn’t bother me at all. What bothers me is that every time I look at it, I’m reminded, “Dang, I fell! Crap, I fell! Aw, man, I can’t believe I fell!” And it’s on the palm of my hand, so it’s not like I can easily avoid looking at it throughout the day. I don’t even think I’ve got bruises on my knee or butt, but this hand bruise -- which is really like an innocent bystander in this whole thing -- is frequently reminding me of something I’d like to forget.

I’m reminded yet again of Psalm 145:14 -- God upholds ALL those who fall and lifts up ALL who are bowed down. We live in a fallen world. As a Christian, I don’t belong to it, but there’s slippery ice -- metaphorically speaking -- all around me. There are so many opportunities in my walk with Christ to get distracted by something and fall. Sometimes, I’m walking along as carefully as I can, things are going just fine, but I mess up, anyway. I don’t want to, but sometimes it happens. And sometimes, I beat myself up for it, staring at the bruise on my hand and going, “Dang, I fell! Crap, I fell! Aw, man, I can’t believe I fell!”

I understand now why my church emphasizes keeping your focus on God and His Kingdom instead of on sin and demonic stuff. I think for most of my Christian life, I’ve been taught, “Don’t sin! Don’t sin! Don’t sin! Aw, look at you! Now you’ve sinned!” Um, hello, that’s because my focus was on the sin. LOL! I’m pretty sure God wants to teach us instead, “You live in My house now. Stick with Me. Eat all you want from My banqueting table. Drink as much as you want from My river of pleasure. Enjoy!”

Psalm 3:3 says that God is my shield and the lifter of my head. He’s the One who basically says, “Yes, you fell, but repent and get up. Don’t be ashamed. Hey, look up at Me. I’m right here. I’ll help you up. Keep going. Keep walking.” I follow Jesus. He’s my Big Brother who’s walked ahead of me and knows how to avoid the slippery places. He’ll show me where to step. He’ll show me where to walk. He’ll show me how slowly or how quickly I should go. If I fall, He’ll pick me up, dust me off, let me cry on His shoulder, and fix my bruises. He encourages me, leads me, and teaches me. I need Him! I love Him!

Speaking of learning, I did feel myself get a bit dizzy yesterday and today (not ice-fall related) because of cold-weather sinus stuff. Not wanting to repeat my 2010 vertigo insanity, I popped a few decongestants. Not again! :)