Remember when I used to blog at least once or twice a month? I guess times have
changed!
When I was in high school, my dad was a teacher at my school. Since I
didn’t have a car (or have a license yet), I would ride with him to and from
school every day. I would get there early because he needed to be there early,
and then I would meet him in his classroom at the end of the day and wait for
him—usually while a student or two were serving detention there. I didn’t mind
waiting, because I could always spend the time doing homework. Whoever was
serving detention would sometimes turn to me and ask something like, “What did
you do?” since it probably looked like I had detention, too. I would just motion
towards my dad and say, “He’s my ride.”
I think spiritually speaking, I’ve been experiencing something similar
lately.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the
mountains be carried into the midst of the sea...” (Psalm 46:1-2, NKJV)
Several months ago, I felt led to read through Psalm 46 again, and the
part at the beginning of the psalm where the world basically falls apart
(verses 2 and 3) caught my attention. I was like… Uh-oh. What’s going to
happen?
If you follow me on Facebook, you know that my car has been in the shop
for a long time. I was told that it just needed a new transmission (so I bought
a used one because they’re cheaper), and the mechanic made it sound like the
repair wouldn’t take much time at all. Then I was told that my car also needed a new transmission computer, so that got replaced. Now I’m told that the Check
Engine light came on again, so they believe that it’s a wiring issue. They said
that this issue would take some time to fix (not that they haven’t already
spent a lot of time fixing the other issues). I guess making all of those food
deliveries broke my car or something. So, I’ve been waiting for my car to get
fixed. When I left it at the shop, I took my apartment’s parking permit
(pictured above) and put it in my purse so that it wouldn’t get lost. Good
thing I did! My car has been in the shop since August 11, and I’m reeeeeally
looking forward to using my parking permit again someday. I walked around my
empty carport the other day and pined a little for my car.
At first, I planned it so that I could work from home while my car was
in the shop, and then I could just get a Lyft back to the shop to pick it up
when it was ready, no sweat. Then school started, so I couldn’t stay at home
anymore, and I couldn’t afford to pay for so many Lyfts anymore, so I started
asking people for rides. For the past couple of months, I’ve gotten rides to school/work,
church buildings, the grocery store, the bank, and back home again from about a
dozen generous, awesome people. Since I live alone, I don’t have any family
members to serve as live-in taxi drivers, so I’ve had to be very proactive in
arranging my transportation (I guess I’ve been honing my administration
skills).
Sometimes I have to be ready to roll much earlier than I normally
would, because that is when my ride is available to drive me. Sometimes I have
to wait for my ride to finish taking care of things or socializing with people,
when I otherwise would have already gone home, because I need to wait on my
ride. I’m basically at my ride’s mercy.
And I’ve been in survival mode. If I run out of food and can’t get a ride to the
store yet, I’ll walk to a convenience store. If I don’t feel like walking, I’ll
order groceries online or order a pizza. All of that is expensive, of course,
so whenever I’m at a gathering where food is involved, I’ll eat whatever is there, regardless of the sodium or cholesterol content (which I’m
supposed to be watching), and I’ll eat as much as I can. Sometimes my pantry is
plenty full, but other times it’s empty, so I’ve just had to adjust accordingly. Interestingly, my blood pressure hasn’t skyrocketed, and I haven’t
died of a heart attack or stroke. Maybe it’s because I’ve been getting
healthier, or maybe it’s because I’m happy?
It might be a little of both.
At any rate, I’m a college student, right? How many college students
do you know who are rolling in money, full pantries, and luxury cars? (OK, you
might know a few, but my point is that that isn’t usually the norm.) A few
years ago when I went back to school, God showed me that He restored my college
years to me, and it looks like I got the full package deal!
But waiting for my car to get fixed has been a gut-wrenching
experience. I’ve prayed and wrestled through it quite a bit. Am I doing the
right thing by waiting? Am I getting taken advantage of? Should I go all Karen
on the shop, tell them off, get my car out of there, and take it to a different
shop? Or should I go ahead and let the shop finish what they started, since
they’ve already invested themselves into it, and especially since their online
reviews suggest that they tend to take their time with repairs?
It’s interesting how cars can be used for different metaphors. I heard
a worship pastor say once that using music to lead people into worship is like
taking them into God’s presence in a vehicle—hopefully a really nice, bump-free
vehicle like a Cadillac. With musical excellence in mind, I would say that rehearsing
and preparing the music beforehand is like maintaining the vehicle—getting the
oil changed so that the engine will run smoothly, rotating the tires so that
they’ll wear evenly, flushing out your fluids when they’ve gotten all dirty and
icky, etc. Sometimes, even after you’ve done all of that work beforehand, the
Check Engine light will come on during the worship service, and you’ll have to
diagnose the problem on the fly. Is it the transmission? Is it the battery? Are
you just overdue for a tune-up? Is it a wiring issue that’ll take a long time
to fix? Should you just abandon your vehicle and start walking to the nearest
payphone to call somebody for a ride (which is basically what Boomers and we
Gen-Xers used to do before Uber, Lyft, and smartphones existed)?
Sometimes those things do happen, metaphorically speaking. Yes,
practice your music. Yes, come to the worship platform as prepared as you can so that everything can run as smoothly as possible.
Yes, do all you can to fix any sudden issues that you didn’t plan for. Or maybe
if you have to abandon your plans and just go acoustic with something
spontaneous, just go with the flow. God will meet with His people anyway,
especially if they’re there waiting for Him.
One thing is certain: I’ve been learning a LOT during this ordeal—stuff
that you can’t learn in a classroom. I’ve been learning how to be patient when
people around me are being impatient. I’ve been learning that sometimes it’s
best to take whatever is offered. I’ve been learning that some people are
willing to give you the shirt off their backs even though they barely know you.
I’ve been learning that pepperoni might not kill me after all. I’ve been
learning that my cat is waaaaay more flexible in her routine than my other cats
were. And I’ve been learning to hang on God’s every word, especially when I’m waiting
on Him for something.
I’ve heard people say, “Jesus, take the wheel,” but what if you don’t
even have a car? Jesus will just need to be your ride, period. Sometimes we
need to wait for what feels like forever for the next season to come along.
Sometimes we need to wait for our dream to come true. Sometimes we need to be
willing to let the dream go if it never actually comes to pass. Sometimes we
need to just wait.
So, if you’re wondering how I’ve been handling everything, or why I’m
even here in the first place, I’m just waiting on my Father. He’s my ride.
