Phenomenal protection

Since I use this blog to process the things that are happening in my life, and since I’ve currently been dealing with some health issues, that’s what I’m going to write about today. Thanks in advance for reading. (And maybe this post could also be titled “Things that make you go Hmmmmm.”)

The other day during one of my quiet times -- maybe about a month ago? -- I don’t remember His exact words, but God basically told me, “I’ve been preserving your life.” I also don’t remember the exact passage of scripture that I was reading or thinking about at the time, but it may have been this one...

“The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.” (Psalm 121:7-8)

Perhaps you remember me mentioning in a previous post about how I’ve lost a ton of weight ever since I lost my last full-time job. In that same post, I also mentioned how I had a weird health scare in which my right arm and leg felt tingly and numb for a few days (not quite as intense as the scare that I had two Thursdays ago that sent me to the ER). Now that I FINALLY have some health insurance, I’ve finally begun to get some answers.

In addition to having high blood pressure, I’ve been diagnosed with a heart murmur. I’ve been making some lifestyle changes that I had been trying to do before all this stuff hit the fan (trying to exercise, trying to watch my salt intake, trying to eat foods that can lower a person’s blood pressure). And it’s interesting that I’ve been dealing with all of this shortly after going back to school full-time, not working full-time. I actually HAVE some time to devote to myself.

Which reminds me of something that God told me a few months ago: “You’re more important than finding a job.”

Did the stress of going back to school, the stress of finding part-time work, or the stress of my financial situation in general contribute to my current health crisis? Maybe. But at the doctor’s office earlier this week, I was told that this has been brewing for quite some time.

I’ve known that I’ve had high blood pressure for at least a decade or so, but it’s never been officially diagnosed or treated (until now). And I’ve known that my genetics could put me at risk for blood pressure and heart issues. And I’ve done what I can do to take care of myself -- although now I understand that I need to up the ante.

But I can only do so much to help myself. I think Somebody else has been taking care of the rest.

 

In the past month or so, I’ve felt myself lose even more weight. It’s been confirmed at the healthcare facilities in which I’ve weighed in around 143 -- while I was wearing jeans and shoes. (I don’t think my dinky little scale at home works very well, unless I suddenly gained 7 pounds in the past few days. I mean, I’ve had a hard time keeping my pajama pants up, even though I’ve been keeping the drawstrings pretty tight.)

So, I’ve lost about 40 pounds in the past year and a half. That weight loss has been mostly involuntary (with some intentional exercise and a short spurt of physically demanding work) due to a loss of income. And, not to mention, due to the loss of that huge pantry of free food and soda that was available to me at my previous full-time workplace. I wasn’t able to find a way to earn the same amount of income that I had been earning a year and a half ago, which forced me to spend less money on food and to eat less. Consequently, I had seen my weight loss as a problem.

But what if it was actually a blessing? What if it was actually a HUGE way of God protecting me?

With my current health issues, I think I would have been ordered to lose weight. But what if I had ended up getting a cushy, well-paying job that wouldn’t have forced me to lose weight? What if I had stayed heavier and THEN had stroke symptoms or developed heart issues? Would I still be alive?

While I was thinking about that this morning, God basically had a knowing smirk on His face and was like, “Now do you believe Me?” Yes, Lord, now I believe You. I trust You. Usually when He and I have this type of conversation, He’ll say something like, “Not bad, huh?” Nope. Not bad at all.

A little while ago, I was doing some research about my new blood pressure medicine, and I learned that it was recalled a few months ago -- but only when coupled with a certain heart medicine -- I believe due to a cancer-causing carcinogen. What if I had received medical attention and begun treatment for my blood pressure and heart murmur several months ago? Would I have been prescribed the drug combination that was recalled? Would I have been exposed to something that could have given me cancer -- on top of everything else?

I like seeing God work. And now it looks like my life is depending on it.

“Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” (Psalm 34:12-14)

“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.” (Psalm 50:15)

“He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3)

I’ve heard that when you restore something, like an antique car, you take it apart and put it back together again. God has been in the process of restoring me. From what I understand, He’s been taking apart the different components that make up my life -- my emotional component, my spiritual component, etc., and now my physical component. I’ve been told that all of these components are connected, and now I understand more than ever how one or more can affect the others.

So, my word for 2019 is “phenomenon/phenomenal.” Just as 2018 was “the year of the ‘suddenly,’ ” 2019 is “the year of the close call.” At least, that’s how it is for me.

And it’s not all about me. God wants to preserve your life, too. It’s OK. You can trust Him.

Thursday

Thursday is pretty much my favorite day of the week. I’m not exactly sure why, but it seems like anything can happen on a Thursday. I got saved on a Thursday. Jesus ate the Last Supper, prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, and was arrested on a Thursday. My choir usually practices on a Thursday, and awesome things usually happen when we all hang out together. Thursday is just a magical day.

As I was saying, anything can happen on a Thursday... and it did.

 

In case you haven’t heard, I went to the ER on Thursday. I woke up that morning after I had barely slept; I had been fighting some kind of cold, and the medicine I took didn’t knock me out like a good generic version of NyQuil should. But I prepared for a busy day. While I was taking a shower, my right hand and arm felt like they were on pins and needles, and my right leg felt the same way. I saw spots (which I usually do because I’m nearsighted) that were more pronounced than usual, and my vision felt like it was caving in, as if I were about to faint.

It seemed like something was very wrong. I felt like I wanted to lie down and sleep, but I knew if I did, it would be a bad thing. I prayed and asked God to not let me die, and I asked Him to make sure that MeepMeep would be OK. What the heck was happening? Did I have some weird kind of infection like meningitis? Was I having a heart attack?

I finished my shower as best I could, and when I got out of the bathroom, I was panting for breath. I ate breakfast and felt a little better. I called around to see what kind of medical attention I could get with my health insurance, and I decided to go to an urgent care center. (I also figured that if I was well enough to do some research, maybe I wasn’t that sick.)

At the urgent care center, the nurse took my blood pressure a couple of times, I explained the weird symptoms I had had earlier, and she said they needed to do an EKG. As soon as I had stripped down for the procedure, the nurse practitioner burst into the room and told me that I needed to go to the ER because my blood pressure was strokeworthy. She explained that they would give me an IV and send me to a hospital in an ambulance.

The paramedics arrived as soon as the urgent care team performed the EKG. (I heard the siren blaring in the distance and was like, “Wow. Is that for me?”) It was freezing outside, so they put a blanket over me as I was escorted to the emergency vehicle. The paramedics performed a second EKG. I looked at the monitor and, if I remember correctly, my blood pressure was around 236/126. During the ambulance ride, I looked out the window and saw cars on the highway driving toward me. (I’ve lived in the Metroplex for a significant portion of my life, and it was cool to not see the backs of cars for once.)

At one point, I looked over at the empty seat next to me in the ambulance. Either in my mind’s eye or in my spirit, I saw Somebody sitting next to me. I was like, Oh, it’s an angel! And God was like, “No, it’s Me.” Then He kind of hovered in front of my face like He often does and smiled like a proud Papa who was just checking on me. (Or maybe just hanging out with me.)

After we arrived at the ER, the entire emergency team gave me immediate attention. They hooked me up to an EKG machine yet again and performed the test a third time. They administered two doses of medication until my blood pressure was brought down to 184/93, and then they discharged me. The diagnosis was malignant hypertension, which I’ve now been in the process of taking care of.

I’ll use this paragraph for comic relief. You know you’re alive in 2019 when... your first order of business in the ER is to get your phone out of your purse and start snapping selfies for social media. You know the healthcare industry is out of touch with America when... their idea of de-stressing you for high blood pressure is to inform you that your ER visit will cost $4,000. You know you’re wet behind the ears when... you ask the nurse if he needs his EKG stickers back after he discharges you.

Actually, he kindly informed me that they come off with hot water in the shower. I shared a photo earlier in this post of all three types of stickers that were adhered to me. (I was still scraping off the adhesive from my skin this morning. That stuff is strong.) I haven’t heard anything yet regarding my test results, so I’m hoping that means I didn’t have a heart attack, a weird infection, or any other medical abnormality.

But I think I did almost have a stroke.

“As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds His people from this time forth and forever.” (Psalm 125:2)

After I settled back home and started to process everything, I felt like God showed me that He allowed all of this to happen so that I could see that I was surrounded. Friends all over social media prayed for me and offered to help. Friends dropped by my apartment and showered me with generous gifts. Friends checked on me to see how I was doing.

I love that.

As I type this, I am not 100%. I’ve been recovering from my Thursday scare, and I’ve been trying to make some lifestyle adjustments that will help me in the long run. (My grandmother died after a massive heart attack, my other grandmother died after a series of strokes, and although they were both wonderful women, I don’t want to follow in their footsteps.) And I’m still fighting whatever cold or infection that I was fighting before I had my blood pressure incident. I’m exhausted. But interestingly, God doesn’t seem worried.

Earlier today while I was lying down and talking to God -- maybe in the same way that King Hezekiah had a heart-to-heart with Him, except that I wasn’t on my deathbed -- He and I had an interesting conversation. He showed me a picture of a road marker, like the kind you would see on a highway; it said “Been there, done that.” He also reminded me of the word “chazaq,” which is Hebrew for “strong.” And He reminded me that He had told me earlier to power through this season like a champ. So, I think I know what I need to do.

I’m not going to curl up in a fetal position and give up. And I’m not going to be some irresponsible kid and neglect my body. I know who I am. I know that God has good plans for me. I know that He still wants me here.

And I know that the devil hates me. (Just like he hates you.) This morning, I did my street-fight style of spiritual warfare in my living room and informed the dark forces that I’m not quitting.

So, I’m going to take care of myself as best I can. I’m a survivor, I’m surrounded with help, and I’m going to do everything I can to make this crazy life work. God is here, He’s helping me, and He’s available to lean on.

“ ‘What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your truth? Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me; Lord, be my helper!’ You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.” (Psalm 30:9-12)

The dark forces can put that in their pipe and smoke it. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.