He’s my ride

Remember when I used to blog at least once or twice a month? I guess times have changed!

When I was in high school, my dad was a teacher at my school. Since I didn’t have a car (or have a license yet), I would ride with him to and from school every day. I would get there early because he needed to be there early, and then I would meet him in his classroom at the end of the day and wait for him—usually while a student or two were serving detention there. I didn’t mind waiting, because I could always spend the time doing homework. Whoever was serving detention would sometimes turn to me and ask something like, “What did you do?” since it probably looked like I had detention, too. I would just motion towards my dad and say, “He’s my ride.”

I think spiritually speaking, I’ve been experiencing something similar lately.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea...” (Psalm 46:1-2, NKJV)

Several months ago, I felt led to read through Psalm 46 again, and the part at the beginning of the psalm where the world basically falls apart (verses 2 and 3) caught my attention. I was like… Uh-oh. What’s going to happen?

  

If you follow me on Facebook, you know that my car has been in the shop for a long time. I was told that it just needed a new transmission (so I bought a used one because they’re cheaper), and the mechanic made it sound like the repair wouldn’t take much time at all. Then I was told that my car also needed a new transmission computer, so that got replaced. Now I’m told that the Check Engine light came on again, so they believe that it’s a wiring issue. They said that this issue would take some time to fix (not that they haven’t already spent a lot of time fixing the other issues). I guess making all of those food deliveries broke my car or something. So, I’ve been waiting for my car to get fixed. When I left it at the shop, I took my apartment’s parking permit (pictured above) and put it in my purse so that it wouldn’t get lost. Good thing I did! My car has been in the shop since August 11, and I’m reeeeeally looking forward to using my parking permit again someday. I walked around my empty carport the other day and pined a little for my car.

At first, I planned it so that I could work from home while my car was in the shop, and then I could just get a Lyft back to the shop to pick it up when it was ready, no sweat. Then school started, so I couldn’t stay at home anymore, and I couldn’t afford to pay for so many Lyfts anymore, so I started asking people for rides. For the past couple of months, I’ve gotten rides to school/work, church buildings, the grocery store, the bank, and back home again from about a dozen generous, awesome people. Since I live alone, I don’t have any family members to serve as live-in taxi drivers, so I’ve had to be very proactive in arranging my transportation (I guess I’ve been honing my administration skills).

Sometimes I have to be ready to roll much earlier than I normally would, because that is when my ride is available to drive me. Sometimes I have to wait for my ride to finish taking care of things or socializing with people, when I otherwise would have already gone home, because I need to wait on my ride. I’m basically at my ride’s mercy.

And I’ve been in survival mode. If I run out of food and can’t get a ride to the store yet, I’ll walk to a convenience store. If I don’t feel like walking, I’ll order groceries online or order a pizza. All of that is expensive, of course, so whenever I’m at a gathering where food is involved, I’ll eat whatever is there, regardless of the sodium or cholesterol content (which I’m supposed to be watching), and I’ll eat as much as I can. Sometimes my pantry is plenty full, but other times it’s empty, so I’ve just had to adjust accordingly. Interestingly, my blood pressure hasn’t skyrocketed, and I haven’t died of a heart attack or stroke. Maybe it’s because I’ve been getting healthier, or maybe it’s because I’m happy?

It might be a little of both.

At any rate, I’m a college student, right? How many college students do you know who are rolling in money, full pantries, and luxury cars? (OK, you might know a few, but my point is that that isn’t usually the norm.) A few years ago when I went back to school, God showed me that He restored my college years to me, and it looks like I got the full package deal!

But waiting for my car to get fixed has been a gut-wrenching experience. I’ve prayed and wrestled through it quite a bit. Am I doing the right thing by waiting? Am I getting taken advantage of? Should I go all Karen on the shop, tell them off, get my car out of there, and take it to a different shop? Or should I go ahead and let the shop finish what they started, since they’ve already invested themselves into it, and especially since their online reviews suggest that they tend to take their time with repairs?

It’s interesting how cars can be used for different metaphors. I heard a worship pastor say once that using music to lead people into worship is like taking them into God’s presence in a vehicle—hopefully a really nice, bump-free vehicle like a Cadillac. With musical excellence in mind, I would say that rehearsing and preparing the music beforehand is like maintaining the vehicle—getting the oil changed so that the engine will run smoothly, rotating the tires so that they’ll wear evenly, flushing out your fluids when they’ve gotten all dirty and icky, etc. Sometimes, even after you’ve done all of that work beforehand, the Check Engine light will come on during the worship service, and you’ll have to diagnose the problem on the fly. Is it the transmission? Is it the battery? Are you just overdue for a tune-up? Is it a wiring issue that’ll take a long time to fix? Should you just abandon your vehicle and start walking to the nearest payphone to call somebody for a ride (which is basically what Boomers and we Gen-Xers used to do before Uber, Lyft, and smartphones existed)?

Sometimes those things do happen, metaphorically speaking. Yes, practice your music. Yes, come to the worship platform as prepared as you can so that everything can run as smoothly as possible. Yes, do all you can to fix any sudden issues that you didn’t plan for. Or maybe if you have to abandon your plans and just go acoustic with something spontaneous, just go with the flow. God will meet with His people anyway, especially if they’re there waiting for Him.

One thing is certain: I’ve been learning a LOT during this ordeal—stuff that you can’t learn in a classroom. I’ve been learning how to be patient when people around me are being impatient. I’ve been learning that sometimes it’s best to take whatever is offered. I’ve been learning that some people are willing to give you the shirt off their backs even though they barely know you. I’ve been learning that pepperoni might not kill me after all. I’ve been learning that my cat is waaaaay more flexible in her routine than my other cats were. And I’ve been learning to hang on God’s every word, especially when I’m waiting on Him for something. 

I’ve heard people say, “Jesus, take the wheel,” but what if you don’t even have a car? Jesus will just need to be your ride, period. Sometimes we need to wait for what feels like forever for the next season to come along. Sometimes we need to wait for our dream to come true. Sometimes we need to be willing to let the dream go if it never actually comes to pass. Sometimes we need to just wait.

So, if you’re wondering how I’ve been handling everything, or why I’m even here in the first place, I’m just waiting on my Father. He’s my ride.