Thursday, April 11, 2013

Love thy neighbor, stomp thy enemy


I've lived in apartments for most of my adult life, but I've never had neighbor issues like the one I'm about to write about.

I need to give you a tiny bit of background information. When I lived in college dorms, I learned quickly how thin walls can be, so I got used to sleeping with earplugs. I picked up the sleeping-with-earplugs habit again when I lived in my previous apartment. My previous apartment was next to a swimming pool and across the street from an airport. I soon became accustomed to turning up the volume on my TV whenever a plane would zoom past my window and turning the volume down again when the zoom would fade away. And I'm a musician. I'm very accustomed to loud, booming background noises. They don't really bother me anymore. In fact, I sometimes find them comforting; to me, they're a practical reminder that life goes on.

I lived at the near-the-airport apartment for 6 years, so I had lots of neighbor turnover. I heard all kinds of loud, booming noises from my neighbors all the time (including the kind that made me consider calling the cops). I learned what kind of air fresheners and fans are helpful to deodorize cigarette smoke (no offense, but I've always hated the stench) that wafts through my vents. When I worked evenings, I learned things such as how to walk quietly, how to whisper to my cats, how to strum my guitar without a pick, and how to clean house and take care of noisy business during hours when people are awake.

So, last night when my downstairs neighbor protested my vacuuming around 8:30 p.m. and my exercise routine around 9 p.m., it was quite disconcerting. My current apartment is in a quiet part of town nowhere near the airport, and a new neighbor moved in a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps the walls and floors of my current home are thinner than I'm accustomed to, and I just haven't realized it until now. (When I first moved in, I heard all sorts of interesting noises from the couple and their babies who all lived in the apartment next to mine.) But I am getting a crash course in loving my neighbor (Matthew 22), living in peace with all men (Romans 12), keeping boundaries where I need them (Psalm 16), and minding my own business (1 Thessalonians 4).

My new neighbor has freaked me out a little bit. He likes to keep his front door open, which seemed almost like a peeping-tom situation waiting to happen, but perhaps I'm being paranoid. He also has a frequently barking dog that I once saw standing unleashed at the threshold of his front door, almost as if he could easily attack me while I walked past, but again perhaps that was my paranoia. Then a couple of times when I was outside, I heard my neighbor say out of the blue, quite vaguely under his breath, "Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble bitch." At first I thought he was talking to his dog, but I soon gathered that he was likely talking to me... without actually talking to me. (Last night was not the first time I've used my stepper since he moved in.)

At the beginning of this post is a picture of my exercise equipment. It's dusty from, uh, excessive use. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, it's a stepper that I've had for a little over a year that comes in very handy anytime I want to spend 25 minutes in front of my TV while stepping in place. Exercise is like hitting the reset button for my body. If I hit it on a regular basis, everything will stay in good, working order. Unfortunately, life has been so busy lately that I haven't been able to hit my reset button very often at all.

But last night was a great opportunity for me to catch up a bit on life, e.g., cleaning and exercise. However, almost as soon as I revved up my vacuum cleaner in my living room, I heard my neighbor frantically open his sliding door. While I was almost done vacuuming my carpet as thoroughly as I wanted it vacuumed, I heard 4 loud knocks on my wall or floor -- not sure where it came from, but I think it's an educated guess that it came from my neighbor. After I finished my vacuuming job, I decided to take my stepper into my library in case the noise would bother my neighbor. I also decided that if he wanted me to stop making noise, he would have to tell me to my face. Animals and children protest by hitting walls and floors. Adult humans assert themselves face to face.

So, I began my exercise routine, and then I heard my neighbor's front door open, and I heard him bang loudly on the railing that's outside my door. I asked God what to do (should I stop? should I walk to my neighbor's home and have a conversation with him?), and He was very insistent that I should keep going. So, while I continued my routine, I heard loud knocking on the wall or floor of my library -- not sure which, but each knock matched each of my steps. So, when it was time for me to hasten my gait, I went faster. The knocks matched my pace for a tiny little while, but they eventually stopped after a couple of minutes. I continued my routine, and I kept increasing my pace, and then I cooled down, as usual. During my exercise, my mind kept going crazy while imagining scenarios. I kept thinking that maybe my neighbor would call the cops because I had violated some sort of noise ordinance. I kept expecting my neighbor to get other neighbors involved because the walls are pretty thin around here. I kept waiting for him to knock on my front door like a human being and tell me to shut up. But none of that happened.

Then next morning, I expected to receive a threatening note outside my door, but there wasn't one. I expected my neighbor to glare at me from his open door, but his door was closed, his dog was out of sight, and I didn't see either of their faces. I kept waiting for apartment management to call me with an official complaint, but they never did. And why would they? I was just living my life. I was simply existing.

And in the process of choosing to love my literal neighbor (in Luke 10, Jesus explains that it doesn't necessarily have to be somebody who lives next door), I discovered all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms inside me. I found myself imagining a face-to-face confrontation with him in which I'd bully him back and probably threaten harm to his dog. I daydreamed about banging my baseball bat on my fireplace anytime his dog would bark. I even thought I could pull my Hispanic card and pretend to not understand English... Hola, señor vecino. ¿Cómo está? So, God has squeezed out this nasty stuff that was inside me. I've noticed that He likes to do that. And I'm glad He does, because none of that nasty stuff sounds like loving my neighbor. (And I'm glad He can turn nasty stuff into humorous stuff.)

If it were me, I probably wouldn't appreciate booming, obsessive vacuuming zoom-noises from an adjacent apartment. If it were me, I probably wouldn't appreciate rhythmic step-noises from an adjacent apartment. So, I'll adjust. The next time I go shopping, I'll try to pick up a sweeper vac that works decently while gliding across my carpet more lightly. The next time I sweat on purpose, I'll whip out my Richard Simmons VHS and prance in front of the TV. Or if that workout doesn't work out, maybe I could join a gym... and meet a really cute guy who cares about his physique while loving Jesus and loving his neighbor as he loves himself and...

Anyway, I've been praying about this because frankly, my neighbor and his reactions have scared me. Currently, he's not welcome inside my home, and I don't wish to visit his home. But I've had some helpful ideas. I don't know why an older man would live alone with a dog, but maybe he's recently divorced or recently widowed and is grieving and angry. I don't know why anyone would be intolerant of vacuuming or exercising noises at a decent hour of the evening, but maybe he has a mental illness like one of my ex-friends who couldn't stand her neighbors playing music at 7 p.m. or a man having a nearby phone conversation at a restaurant.

So, while I've been praying about this situation, God has shown me that He's taking care of it. During one prayer, I was throwing out all kinds of stronghold ideas (is it an intimidating spirit? is it Jezebel? is it fear?), but God was like, "You can pray whatever you want, but I'm going to protect you." So, I want to be safe, I want to be a good neighbor, and I want to love. I'm good to go. And God also gave me another cool light-bulb moment.

Probably without realizing it, my neighbor has treated me like the devil treats me. The devil is like a roaring lion (1 Peter 5), not like a sharp-fanged lion or a skillful-hunter lion or a refreshed-after-hours-of-napping-like-a-good-feline lion. Just a roaring lion. My neighbor is older, he has handicap parking plates, and he apparently only has enough energy to rap loudly on my wall, floor, or railing. No attempt to meet eye to eye to discuss things in a civilized manner -- only primitive noise that will go away after a while. If I get off my butt and live my life like I'm supposed to, the devil becomes extremely unhappy. He scrambles and starts banging on my walls as soon as I start living. He doesn't have much time left, but while he's here, he just wants me to shut up. But God wants me to keep going.

The devil likes to insert his voice into my life out of the blue, and I think he tries to keep it vague enough to keep me from realizing that it's him, but clear enough for me to hear the insult: "Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble bitch." The devil hates my guts, and there's no way he can hide that fact.

The devil is a creeper who keeps his doors wide open. If I'm curious enough, I could peek through and get lured in. But if I do, he'll have a little demon waiting for me to attack me, and that's not me being paranoid. The devil doesn't observe any leash laws, and he is more than OK with my spontaneous destruction.

But I'm not OK with it, and God is definitely not OK with it. If He gives me a job to do or a life to live, He wants me to keep going. He insists. He made me to live, so I need to simply keep on living. I need to keep going one step at a time, getting stronger with each stride, and stomping on my enemy with each boom of my foot (Romans 16).

For example, I think sometimes God lets stuff happen to me so that I can write about it. Maybe the mere existence of this blog post is like a giant "CoughSeeWhatHappensWhenyouMessWithMyGirlCoughcough" from God to the devil. But what I know for sure is that Jesus loves me, He loves my neighbor, and He's the perfect example of how I can love him, too. Love is peaceful, but love is also noisy. Ain't no pair of earplugs that can drown that out that kind of stomping.

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