Now that the title of
this post probably got your attention, I hope I didn't alarm you. My cats and I
are doing well. I'm going to use this post to process some things that I've
been thinking about, so I might be all over the place, but I'll try to stay
focused. I think perhaps another title could be something like "You get
what you pay for... even though you could never possibly earn enough resources
to pay for certain things in a zillion years."
I just returned from the
vet, where Macho had his stitches and superhero bonnet removed. I keep
asking him how he's enjoying his peripheral vision. He keeps positioning
himself cautiously throughout the apartment. Check out his placement in this
photo. He's lounging half on wood, half on carpet. I've never seen him do that
before. He was flicking his tail and glaring at me suspiciously. Sorry, kitty. Didn't
mean to freak you out. All I did was take you to the vet so you could get a
surgical procedure that possibly saved your life.
"If a son asks for
bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a
fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg,
will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good
gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy
Spirit to those who ask Him!" (Luke 11:11-13)
Speaking of vets, years
ago, I was a novice cat owner, so I would do what everyone told me to do
regarding cats, including taking them to the (quack) vets where I was told to
take them. The vet where I ended up treating both my cats was a tiny bit out of
town near a country road, where I imagine many animals were accident victims.
So, one or two three-legged cats lived at this particular vet's office. I
remember on at least one occasion, Choochie and I were minding our own business
in the waiting room. I kept her next to me inside her carrier. Then one of the
three-legged cats hobbled up to her carrier and hissed at her. Excuse you,
tripod. Leave my baby alone. Of course, I scooted Choochie (who was probably
hissing back) closer to me and tried to shield her from the really rude
host/hostess.
At this same vet's
office, I remember taking Macho for shots once. While she was giving Macho a
shot, the phone rang, and she had to answer it, while Macho tried to crawl off
the table while a needle was stuck in his back. At the time, I was really
impressed with the vet's multitasking skills. In retrospect, I'm appalled at
the lack of care with which this vet treated my cat. Excuse you, lady. I don't
care if you're really shorthanded or if you're so broke that you have to keep your entire operation glued together
with Scotch tape and bubble gum. When you stick a needle in my baby, give him
your undivided attention.
I'm a firm believer that
you get what you pay for, especially when it comes to veterinary care.
And yet, there are some
situations you find yourself in where you had no idea what you were in for.
"And when Pharaoh
drew near, the children of Israel lifted their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians
marched after them. So they were very afraid, and the children of Israel cried
out to the Lord. Then they said to Moses, 'Because there were no graves in
Egypt, have you taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you so dealt
with us, to bring us up out of Egypt? ...And Moses said to the people, 'Do not
be afraid... The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.' And
the Lord said to Moses, 'Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to
go forward. But lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and
divide it. And the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst
of the sea.' " (Exodus 14:10-11, 13a, 14-16)
Last night when I was
thinking and praying about my financial situation, God reminded me of the story of the parting of the Red Sea. The Egyptians (the enemy) had released the
Israelites (God's children) from bondage, but here they were chasing after
their former slaves again. The Israelites were stuck between a charging army
and a body of water. I think it was natural for them to freak out and
accidentally forget about the miraculous way that God had delivered them from
their bondage in the first place. I like reading about it in Exodus. It seems
like God has this extremely laidback "What's the big deal?" attitude
right before He delivers them from the enemy YET AGAIN.
I'm not exactly sure why
God led the Israelites directly to a body of water (that probably looked like a
watery grave), especially without warning. I don't think He was like, "Yes,
come out to the wilderness and worship Me! But before you do, minor detail:
You'll need to trust Me to lead you through an impossible obstacle." Nope.
Surprise! This pop quiz has been brought to you by... I AM. You can't leave
your bondage without Him. [theme music playing]
Why did God lead the
Israelites to the Red Sea without warning them about it beforehand? I'm sure He
wanted to glorify Himself. I'm sure He wanted to test the Israelites' hearts.
I'm guessing perhaps He wanted an efficient way to conquer the Egyptians. I'm
pretty sure He knew that this story would encourage me thousands of years
later.
I like how in Exodus,
God was like, "Why are you freaking out? Just keep moving forward. There's
a body of water in the way? No problem. I'll move it out of the way for
you." He's God then, and He's God now. He never, ever changes.
Then after the
Israelites crossed the Red Sea and began life out in the wilderness, they
encountered multiple other trials where God tested their hearts multiple other
times. Hmm, let's see. What all did God do for them? Let me see how much of it
I can remember:
- sent Moses, a former
resident of Egypt, to deliver them from bondage
- sent 10 plagues to the
Egyptians, the 10th of which finally convinced Pharaoh to release them from bondage
- parted the Red Sea so
that they safely crossed on dry land
- resumed the Red Sea's
normal flow so that the Egyptian enemies would drown
- rained down manna from
heaven so that they could make bread in the wilderness
- sent water for them to
drink smack-dab in the middle of the desert
- chose them, out of all
the other peoples of the earth, to be His very own
- kept them alive during
all of the above, and all they had to do was love Him
Dang. That's a lot. But that's easy for me to say because I have a laptop, A/C, and thousands of years of
perspective. When you're going through an actual trial, it can be difficult to
remember what God is really like.
What IS God really like?
"The wicked are estranged
from the womb; they go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies. Their
poison is like the poison of a serpent; they are like the deaf cobra that stops
its ear, which will not heed the voice of the charmers, charming ever so
skillfully... The righteous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance; he shall
wash his feet in the blood of the wicked, so that men will say, 'Surely there
is a reward for the righteous; surely He is God who judges the earth.' " (Psalm
58:3-5, 10-11)
Well, God is certainly
NOT like the cobras of Psalm 58. The other day during my quiet time when I
needed calming down, God sat me down and reminded me that I grew up among
serpents. I think when you absorb a toxic atmosphere, and it's all you know,
it's easy to think that that's all there is to life. Then when you're rescued
from the toxic atmosphere, you breathe in fresh air, and you gradually begin to
realize, "Ah. That toxicity wasn't supposed to be normal." So, the
concept of God being a good Daddy who provides for His children is one that's
still sinking in for me -- possibly a concept that may require a lifetime to
sink in fully.
I've blogged previously about how the concept of "If you, then, being evil, know how to give good
gifts to your children, how much more does God know how to give good gifts to
you" is honestly fairly new to my soul. I've heard it and read it probably
a hundred times, of course. But my heart is still learning it.
Not trying to hurt
anyone's feelings, just trying to be honest, I didn't grow up with a strong
daddy who would do whatever necessary to provide for his children, or who would
stay up late on Christmas Eve wrapping presents that he bought for his children, or who would do
all sorts of cool things for his children and delight in watching them enjoy
all those cool things. I grew up with a wussy daddy who would freak out if we
would leave the light on in a room that we weren't occupying, and who would
only buy presents for his wife, and who would isolate himself in his study area
while we children were left to do whatever. And if heaven forbid we were to
make any sort of mistakes, he would whip his venomous fangs straight to our
throats. If you ask your dad for an egg, would he give you a scorpion? Sure,
why not? That's what my dad did. And I think I have the malnutrition and the
scars to prove it.
But God's not like that.
When the Israelites
asked Him for freedom, He didn't just deliver them out of their bondage. He
obliterated their enemies. He sent them Moses, AND later He sent them Jesus. He
didn't just give them relief from oppression. He squashed their oppressors to
smithereens. AND He adopted them as His sons and daughters. AND He sent them
His Holy Spirit to help them live life here and remember His truth.
So, when I ask Father
God for bread, He won't give me a stone. He'll give me a bakery, and He'll rain
down manna from heaven so that I can keep making as much bread as I want. When
I ask Him for an egg, He won't give me a scorpion. He'll give me a Sausage
McMuffin With Egg and a lifetime all-you-can eat gift certificate to IHOP. When I ask Him
for a fish, He won't give me a serpent that will snap at me and squirt poison
into me. He'll give me a banquet of huge, fat tilapia that will satisfy my
stomach rumblings and permeate the banquet hall with an aroma that will attract
fish lovers from all over the world. I'll be able to feed myself AND my cats,
who will forget that canned tuna ever existed.
I think perhaps God is
also a firm believer that you get what you pay for. In order to get me as a
daughter, He paid for me by giving up His Son. Now I'm alive, and not only is
He risen from the dead, but He's also the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.
God doesn't cut corners,
because He doesn't need to. God is never anxious about running out of
resources, because He owns all of them. God isn't a quack vet who's barely
keeping His office running, because He's a miraculous Doctor who already reigns
over all the earth. He knows exactly what He's doing. Sure, of course, there
are surprises for ME once in a while, but He knows where I am, and He knows
what I need. He made me. He's much more interested in my life than I am.
I'm not exactly sure how
much Macho realizes how much I care about him when I set my alarm really early
on a Saturday morning so that I can transport him to and from the vet on a traffic-free road. But I think it's natural for him to freak out at
least a little bit. I try to communicate with him what I'm doing as I go along,
but in the end, I speak English and he speaks feline. He probably didn't know
that I was driving him this morning to the vet for just a few minutes so that
he could finally be free of his temporarily constricting equipment. I intended
for him to come right back home with me all along. He was a kitten at PetSmart
many years ago. Perhaps he's used to cages and carriers loudly, invisibly
flashing DANGER.
Maybe the Israelites had
trouble figuring out what God was really like, too. They probably didn't know
that God was driving them to the safest place they could be, as opposed to a
watery grave. They were slaves in a foreign country. Perhaps they were used to
being herded around like cattle in strange places or being mistreated by
Pharaohs or being manipulated by slavedrivers, to the point where any abrupt
change of plans was like a loud, invisible sign flashing DANGER.
I can definitely relate
to Macho and the Israelites, because I have trust issues, too. It's hard to
trust a set of rules, because rules can easily be broken, and almost any system
can easily be cheated. But God isn't a set of rules. He isn't a religion. He's
a Person. Following Him is a relationship. The more you invest in a
relationship with a Person, the more you'll get to know Him, and the more
you'll trust Him.
I'm a firm believer that
you get what you pay for, especially when it comes to giving up your entire
life to follow a Person. And He's never, ever, ever disappointed me. I have
always, always, always been able to count on Him. Because He's faithful.
Because He loves me and is committed to me. Because He is exactly who He says
He is: He's my Father.
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