I won't say that this
post is rated R for "Really? Tirzah thinks this way?" but I will warn
you that I'm just gonna let it all hang out.
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Once in a while,
somebody will post a cat photo or a cat video to my Facebook page and say
something like, "This reminded me of you!" I have a confession to
make. I'm kind of waiting for the day when somebody will post a photo of a
supermodel to my Facebook page and say, "She reminded me of you!" I
know, right? I just hope no one reads this, takes it to heart, and posts
anything stumbling-blockish to my Facebook page.
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One of my old roommates
told me that cats don't like affection. Perhaps she should tell that to my
Choochie who keeps inviting herself to snuggle with me.
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Whenever you submit an unspoken prayer request, I hate to break it to
you, but you kind of already spoke it.
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When I was a freshman in
college (in 1994), my roommate burst through our dorm room one day and
announced in horror that her professor told her class that in the near future,
books would no longer be printed on paper. They would all be electronic. Thus
began my journey of discovering how difficult it is for people to predict the
widespread acceptance of new technology. (Did anyone predict the cellphone selfie?)
Last weekend at my
church (in 2015), my pastor released a new book (both in print and
electronically). He requested that we purchase the book that weekend at a
discounted price. He didn't have to tell me twice. I stood in line at the
church bookstore for about 15-20 minutes, which honestly was my pleasure to do,
because I had never seen a line that long at a church bookstore. The line of
people curved around the store displays like a giant treble clef. It was so
cool.
Yes, it was Mother's Day
weekend, and our church gave away nifty coupons to use at the bookstore. But my
pastor's new hardcover book was flying off the shelves. I had never seen
bookshelves empty so quickly at my church. I think my old roommate's professor
should stop trying to predict what people will want.
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I like movies, but I don't do Netflix, because when I lived in my old apartment, the mail carrier used to accidentally deliver other people's DVDs to my mailbox. Then I would have to hunt down my neighbors to deliver their DVDs to them. Technological convenience fail! I'd rather drive to the movie rental store and just rent a movie the old-fashioned way. There ain't nothing wrong with that. If I were to join Netflix, and if my movie were delivered to the wrong mailbox, I don't think my neighbors would appreciate having to walk over to my catapartment to deliver a Dune DVD. That would be way too much partying for a Saturday night.
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Online news stories keep
saying that McDonald's is in trouble because people have stopped eating there.
But all the McDonald's restaurants in my area are usually jam-packed during the
weekday lunch rush. And a new McDonald's is being constructed in my general
vicinity. I think online news stories are full of crap.
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One of my favorite parts about this particular season of my life is
that God and I will pal around together while I'm driving home from work. Of
course, anytime I'm around a close Friend, I totally unplug like a teenager on
a Friday night.
One of my biggest frustrations at my current job is that the management
claims to have standards about good grammar, spelling, style, etc., but rarely
ever enforces it. There is very poor quality control. I feel like nobody at
work really cares about the English language or treats it with respect. For
example, the CEO's administrative assistant -- who does not know how to spell
-- is often assigned to proofread our writing and editing projects. Of course
our periodicals look like we typed the articles with our feet.
So, during my drive home one day, while I was ranting, I erupted,
"Why don't you just pee on a dictionary?" Then for the next 20
minutes or so, I laughed off and on quite hysterically and quite cathartically about this imaginary peeing-on-a-dictionary concept. So, Tirzah, what do you for fun? Oh, I just
blog, play my guitar, and pee on dictionaries. So, if I ever publish a memoir
titled I Peed on a Dictionary:
Confessions of a Frustrated Editor, you'll know why.
I think that was one of the most fun times I've ever had during a drive
home.
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