Sunday, October 25, 2015

Prove it

On weekday mornings, I set my alarm for approximately 4 a.m. For some reason, the only way I can discipline myself to be anywhere at 8 a.m. is to wake up around 4. (I'm 39 years old. I'm finally getting to know myself. Perhaps my former coworkers who witnessed my chronic tardiness are now reading this and thinking, "Well, it's about time.") Maybe someday I can also discipline myself to have a nice little 30-minute "quiet time" before I leave for work in the mornings. For now, I sometimes just read the Bible while I eat breakfast, and sometimes I pray while I'm in the shower and drive to work. Sometimes I spend some "quiet time" ranting to God in the afternoon if I need to work through something that bubbles up in my heart, and then I usually spend some more "quiet time" with Him in the evenings. (Seriously, on days when I pray while I'm waiting for my conditioner to set, my hair ends up looking REALLY good.)


A major downside to waking up at 4 a.m., of course, is that my cats are now used to being fed at approximately that time. Sometimes I wake up to the sound of Macho meow-insisting at 3 or 3:30. On the weekends, when I try to sleep in, I'll simply wake up when my cats get hungry, feed them, and then go back to sleep for a few more hours. This morning, for example, Macho meow-woke me up at 4:40. (Don't worry; I didn't snap the above photo until around 10:30.)

Whenever I tell people that my weekday morning routine seriously takes about 4 hours, they either laugh at me or they freak out and try to fix me. They start asking me somewhat personal questions like, "What do you DO in the mornings??" Well, I feed the cats (twice), take a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast, not that it's any of your business. I've already tried everything I can think of to make my routine shorter. But I'm a morning person, and I'm an introverted creative person. If I don't get to take my time and work through things in my head/heart that may bubble up during my wake-up routine, I might arrive to work angry and irritable instead of alert and cheerful. Trust me: This 4 a.m. thing has proven to work for me.

Lately, I've been thinking about the concept of people needing to "prove" themselves. For example, during one episode of Restaurant: Impossible, Chef Robert Irvine (who is notorious for being blunt and harsh when you first meet him) said that whenever he hires a new employee, he won't even talk to them for about two or three months. He'll wait until they prove themselves to be a good, competent employee before he'll start to build a relationship with them. At first, I thought this was a terrible thing for him to do. But then I realized that it was probably also happening to me, so it isn't a terrible thing at all.

I have zero complaints about my current job. When people ask me if I like working there, I reply with my honest opinion: "This is an editing paradise." But even though I've already been there for two months, people are still introducing themselves to me, welcoming me, and telling me that they're glad to have me aboard. I thought that was something you were supposed to do from the get-go: Assume that somebody was who they said they were, trust them to do their job, and then get shocked and heartbroken when they turn out to be a total slob who you end up firing.

But I've learned that waiting for somebody to prove themselves is a biblical thing. And, not to mention, it could save you some heartache later on.

"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." (2 Timothy 2:15)

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." (James 1:2)

"So the servants of the owner came and said to him, 'Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?' ... 'Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, "First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn." ' " (Matthew 13:27, 30)

So, God tests us, too. Of course. In that sense, I guess you could say that we need to prove ourselves to Him, even though technically He already knows what's inside us, and even though we probably already have an idea of what's inside us as well. He's a just God, but He's also a God of grace. He understands, more than anyone else, that sometimes it can take a long time for the testing and approval process to happen. (It just feels like it takes forever.) He lets the tares grow with the wheat; He lets the bad weeds grow with the good crop for a while. Then at harvest time, He pulls out the bad weeds and gets rid of them forever, while simultaneously cashing in on the good crop. (If He had tried to get rid of the bad stuff prematurely, He would have risked accidentally destroying the good stuff along with it.)

This idea of "proving" yourself is new to me. I grew up being very codependent. I grew up thinking that if you were a certain way in life, you were doomed to stay that way forever. If someone living in your house was a heartbreaking slob, then it was your frustrating duty to pick up the slack for them forever. As a young adult, I believed that you needed to hand over your entire heart on a silver platter to anyone as soon as you met them. If they turned out to be a total jerk, you wouldn't even notice, and then you'd wonder why you had so many random problems in your life.

But that's not God's way.

"The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." (Proverbs 12:26)

Some translations of this verse say to be "cautious" in friendship. This is a lesson that I've been learning in recent years. Even more recently, I've been learning how to wait to let someone prove themselves to me before I share too much of my heart with them. It might sound strange and cruel, but it has actually saved me at least a tiny bit of heartache.

But Someone else wants to prove Himself also.

" 'Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this,' says the Lord of hosts, 'If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.' " (Malachi 3:10)

In this verse, God says, "try Me," but in the King James Version, He says, "prove Me." Sure, in Deuteronomy, Matthew, and Luke, the Bible says to not test God, but in Malachi it's very clear that God wants us to put Him to one very particular test. (And I'm not just saying so because I'm a member of a church whose pastor is famous for his life-message on tithing/giving.)

When I got my first job straight out of college, I worked part-time for minimum wage, and I lived with some roommates. One of them had a laidback conversation with me about tithing. She said that sometimes "God understands" when we don't tithe. That conversation stuck in my head for years, and I think I let it influence my financial decisions. For years, I would pretty much only tithe whenever I would feel like it or whenever I would remember to. As a result, of course, God would pretty much only rebuke the devourer (Malachi 3:11) whenever He would feel like it, so to speak. A few years after I got out of college, I was so poor that I would only have about $10 to spend on two weeks' worth of groceries from every paycheck. Every weekday, I would eat a tuna sandwich and popcorn for lunch, and then I would come home and fry myself some eggs for dinner. People thought I was exercising or dieting. Nope. I was just poor.

Now anytime I get paid, I tithe ASAP. Why? Because that money isn't mine. As a result, sometimes I look at my checkbook, and I'm like, "Um... how did I end up with all this money left over?" And God is like, "You sound surprised." Yes, Father, I am. But I shouldn't be, because You've proven Yourself to be faithful to take care of me financially if I just give You back what's Yours financially.

I'm certainly not saying that I should always be a cynical person who demands that people show themselves worthy of my friendship before I will give them the time of day. And I'm also not saying that I should live my life always doubting if God is who He says He is. I'm just saying that it's biblical to be more careful with people, to not be surprised when people wait for me to prove myself to them, and to let God show off His awesome provision whenever I let Him.


So, I guess you could say that just like how my cats can trust me to feed them at approximately 4 a.m. every day, I can trust God to feed me everything I need every day. Hmm. Who'd a thunk that needing to prove oneself was a God thing? I guess when you spend some time getting to know Somebody, you find out all kinds of stuff like that.

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