For His name's sake

I've had the idea for this post in my head for a while, but my pastor's sermon this weekend -- as well as my life's events today -- solidified it even further. And in case you're reading this and wondering, "Why is she making such a big deal about getting a flat tire?" that's just how I am. And I also wanted to glorify Somebody's name. Please allow me to explain...

In my life, anytime anyone mentions the concept of "family" or talks about praying for your "family," etc., etc., etc., I think about these two little felines who beg me to feed them several times a day. My two cats and that small spot on my couch where I have DVD marathons, watch YouTube videos, and play video games -- that is "family" to me.

And Somebody else considers me to be His "family" as well.

"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me." (Psalm 27:10)

I've known for a while that I need to buy new tires for my car, but I thought my current tires would last me for at least a couple more weeks. I think the road trip I took yesterday finally wore them out, because one of them got flat this morning while I was driving to the grocery store. At first, I thought the low-tire-pressure light on my car just meant that I needed to put some air in one of my tires, so I squeaked over to the gas-pump area of the store. But the tire in question had a nice little tear in it. I called a couple of trusted friends to ask for their help, but of course they didn't answer because it was 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday. I mean, that's church-and-family time all across America.

So, I whipped out the owner's manual for my car and located the section that explains how to change a flat tire. I had never done this before. (The only other time in my life when I had a flat tire was many years ago when I was driving a different car that happened to be hissing air when I happened to be meeting some friends who happened to take care of it for me.) I compared what I read in my owner's manual with what I saw on my wheel. It seemed way too complicated (as does anything that is over-intellectualized), so I went inside my car and regrouped.

This was one of those life-crises that turns an I-have-it-all-together woman into a freaked-out little girl. I prayed and told God I was scared. He told me to go for it, and He said we could bond over this situation.

So, I carefully drove my car to a wide-open empty section of the parking lot, honestly so that any passersby could easily identify me as a damsel in distress. My strategy worked. As soon as I had removed my spare tire and its accessories from my trunk and had set them on the ground, a vehicle pulled up beside me. A married couple (who I later gathered were empty-nesters) asked me if I needed help. I replied yes and, with my car's owner's manual in my hand, explained that I had never done this before. They laughed, and the man exited his vehicle. He said, "This is where I failed as a dad," and while he jacked up my car and removed my flat tire, he taught me how to do it myself if I ever needed to in the future.

Well, sir, where you perceive that you failed in your past, I believe you succeeded with me.

They cheerfully acted as if helping out a perfect stranger was a normal thing. It was as if they had done it before. After the man installed my spare tire, he asked his wife to drive their vehicle since his hands were greasy. As I re-parked my car, I thought about a quote from the Sense and Sensibility movie: "The unkindness of your family makes you astonished to find friendship elsewhere." I went inside the store and proceeded to shop for groceries, and I saw the Good Samaritan couple from across the building. I avoided them because I knew that if I were to talk to them again, I would bawl like a baby.

A short time later, I drove to a safe place to cry -- church. The parking-lot attendant picked me up on his golf cart and drove me straight to the front door. The worship team happened to be singing the song "Good Good Father" when I walked in, my church happened to serve communion that day, and my pastor happened to preach about God's Father-heart. I was so overwhelmed with the way that God took care of me today -- the way, place, and manner in which my tire became flat and temporarily replaced -- that I ugly-cried off and on. Actually, I'm still choking up as I type this.

"He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake." (Psalm 23:3)

"A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold." (Proverbs 22:1)

When I was much younger, my birth mother would kinda give me a hard time about the way I looked, the way I would dress, and they way I would do my hair. She was a hair stylist, so she had a beauty-quality reputation to uphold. Anytime I would fail to live up to her standards of appearance, she would say that I was making her look bad. Well, excuse me for not inheriting your glamour genes, Miss America.

Speaking of glamorous -- in case you're a new reader to my blog -- growing up in a Pharisee's house was a terrible experience. Helping motorists in distress wasn't normal. Criticizing everybody for everything was normal. Putting down everybody else's family because you believed that your family-raising skills were superior was normal. Always wanting to be better than everybody else was normal. Patronizing people was normal. Pride was normal. Shame was normal. Fear was normal. Inviting God into every little detail of your life was unheard of.

So, the concept of having "a good name" is something that God has had to rewire, repair, and heal for me.

Sometimes if I'm feeling condemned or guilty about working through an issue, or if I'm apologizing to God about working through something, He reminds me that He leads me in paths of righteousness for HIS name's sake. He reminds me that working through my issues is more important to Him than it is to me, that my safety is more important to Him than it is to me... that my life is more important to Him than it is to me.

As for the people who I used to claim as my family, their opinions of me seem drastically different than God's opinion of me. "You're not polished," He told me recently. "You're rough around the edges. That's how I designed you."

So there. And that's worked for me.

You can say what you want about the institution of marriage and how it needs to be redefined by the demands of today's culture, but I say it doesn't need to be redefined at all because God knew exactly what He was doing when He designed it, and He knew that it would work. He knew that someday, a traditionally married couple would cross paths with a rough-around-the-edges frightened woman who needed them. He knew that their union was solid enough to temporarily support her through a mini life-crisis.

You can say what you want about the institution of church and how it is unnecessary to participate in an antiquated tradition in today's culture, but I say it's still relevant today because God knew exactly what He was doing when He designed it, and He knew that it would work. He knew that someday, an I-have-it-all-together woman who temporarily became a freaked-out little girl would need that institution to be there for her one afternoon like a trusty, well-oiled machine. He knew that its faithful weekly presence would be the exact safety net she would need for her Father to catch her in His arms and gently rock her to comfort her.

You can say what you want about me and how I might make you look bad, but I say I'm created in the image of my Father who knew exactly what He was doing when He designed me, and He knew what would work for me. He knew that someday, all those trials He allowed me to experience and all those metaphorical slaps in the face that He allowed me to endure would cause me to rise up and metaphorically scream, "GOD IS REAL!" to anyone who would listen. He knew that I would let Him lead me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake, and He knew that His name would be glorified in the process.

And He knew that I would enjoy bonding with Him in these types of situations. He knew that I would bear His name and be His family.