Farewell to my 30s

Lord willing, I'll celebrate my 40th birthday in a couple of weeks. That's a pretty big birthday. And, well, you know me. It wouldn't be a big deal until I processed through it here on my blog. So, I thought I'd use this space to officially and properly (albeit early) say goodbye to my 30s... and to share some of the big lessons that I learned during this important decade.

1) There's no shame in being yourself. God made you YOU on purpose. It might take you a while to figure out who you are (especially if people have been feeding you lies about who you are for your entire life), and discovering who you are might be a lifelong process. But that's OK. There's nothing wrong with that.

As for me, I am a highly introverted creative person who's more comfortable expressing herself in writing than she is in spoken words. If you have a conversation with me, I might trip over my words, I might stutter a little bit, you might have to wait a little while for me to get the words out, and I might cut through the awkwardness by singing instead. And I'm OK with that.

I think every time I step onto a church worship platform and simply be myself, it scares the crap out of the devil. (And it should -- not just with me, but with all of us when we are just being ourselves.)

2) Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Life throws so many curveballs at you, it ain't even funny. Life ain't nothin' like what they teach you in school. There ain't no textbook for life... and even in the Bible (the one Book that could ever qualify as being the perfect Textbook), you can't even get through Genesis without reading about how God was thrown all kinds of curveballs after He created creation, and about how He had to adjust multiple times. I'm not saying any of it surprised Him; I'm saying that He just did what He had to do.

And so do we. You just gotta show up and adapt to every situation as best you can. You might freak out at first, but if you hang in there, you can make it if you need to.

Throughout the years, perhaps you've read way more information than you cared to about my life, so I'll spare you the details about my cats' latest health issues and general shenanigans. But I will say that Macho and Choochie are still alive and kicking. It's taken a lot of work and a lot of adjusting, but I don't regret hanging in there. I hope they don't regret it, either.

3) It's important to respect rush hour. If you live in a large metropolitan area, you understand how frustrating it can be to drive anywhere between about 6:30 a.m. and 10 a.m. and then between about 3:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. Of course, that is the time of day when people are going to work and then coming home from work. If you're on a highway, there's a strong chance that you could be delayed or stuck in traffic. Sometimes during the summertime (when there's no school), Fridays/Mondays (when many people work from home), or non-universal holidays (such as Presidents' Day or Veterans Day), you can get a break and some very smooth travel. But most of the time, Monday through Friday, rush hour will come and go as faithfully as the seasons.

After a while, you'll get the hang of it. You'll learn to expect anything, be ready for anything, and respond accordingly to anything. People will cut you off, honk at you for no apparent reason, scare the crap out of you, drive in your blind spot, tailgate you, bully you, or nearly run you off the road. But eventually, you'll stop taking it personally. You'll learn how to make your way through traffic by weaving around the traffic-impeders or letting the speed demons pass you without incident. You'll realize that sometimes it's safer to speed up than to slow down, and vice versa. You'll learn how to adeptly master a road that used to freak you out.

You'll eventually realize that the people who drove like crazy maniacs during rush hour did so because it was the most effective way that they knew how to make it through the madness.

 

Earlier this week on social media, I posted a picture of a funny-looking sign. Here is a somewhat clearer photo of the "No thru trucks" sign. Wait. Or does it say, "No anvils"?

Several months ago when I started a new job (which happens to be located somewhat near my previous job), I started taking a different route to work. At first, I was delighted that the new route (a small state highway, 45 MPH through quiet suburbs) shaved about five minutes off my trip from my previous route (two larger state highways, 65+ MPH through noisier suburbs, near an airport). But in recent months, I've noticed that the shorter drive on the quaint road has gotten longer. Perhaps the area along the small 45 MPH road has grown, or perhaps law enforcement has identified the speed-trap potential in the area. Lately, I've been driving less and sitting at stoplights more. Hence my ability to safely take pictures of funny-looking scenery.

Whatever the reason for the slowdown, I don't think this new set of drivers that I've been sharing the road with actually has any "rush hour" skills to speak of. I have been SO frustrated lately during my commutes to/from work. Oh, my gosh. Green means go, people. If the speed limit is 45, that means you can actually go 45.

Lately, I've really been missing my scarier "rush hour" commutes through the noisier suburbs. I miss getting to make up for lost time by driving at faster speeds. I miss recognizing the traffic-impeders and the speed demons and responding accordingly. I think that frustrated me and stressed me out a lot less. I think my current quaint drive is giving me a crash course in experiencing and controlling road rage.

I respect rush hour because I've learned that many of the drivers have developed a level of skill that is conducive, ironically, to ensuring their safety and the safety of those around them. (You have to be careful when you're trying to get to where you're going in one piece.)

But I don't have much respect for the wusses who slow down to 35-40 in a 45 MPH zone just because they see a cop. I mean, come on, grandma. I'm seriously considering taking my old route to work again every once in a while just to keep my highway-driving skills sharp. Or maybe just for my sanity.

When I say it's important to respect rush hour, I mean literally and metaphorically.

"...we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4)

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

When you're trying to maneuver from one place to another in your life -- spiritually, emotionally, mentally, etc. -- it's a lot like rush hour. You're just going along, minding your own business, and then suddenly you get stuck. You're in the middle of a trial, you didn't know it was coming, and now suddenly you have to deal with it. You're getting attacked from every angle, you feel like everything is closing in on you, and you don't feel like you can catch a break. Maybe at some point, you get a breakthrough, and you're able to break free and find some peace again. You're going along at a good pace, and then suddenly you find yourself stuck again.

Or maybe the people around you are dragging you down. You don't know why these people won't use some common sense, or you wish they would just get out of your face, but they're squeezing some stuff out of you, and you don't like it. You might even think you're a jerk for feeling the way that you feel.

But you deal with it as best you can, and you move on with your life. And it makes you a stronger person. Otherwise, you could find yourself in a heap of trouble, and then you're toast.

But if you hang in there, you'll eventually make it through. And while you're hanging in there, you might acquire some skills that you'll need later.

I consider myself to be a strong person now, but I haven't always been. I think God has allowed me to go through some stuff, to process some stuff, and to learn some stuff that has enabled Him to mold me into who I am today. And I think the older I get, the stronger, tougher, more skilled, and more refined I'll hopefully become.

But I haven't always been this way. I wasn't born tough. I used to be a total wuss. But then I think God let me go through some stuff so that I would learn how to fight for my peace, for my sanity, for my existence -- things that could so easily be taken for granted.

I'm not saying I'm not supposed to be soft and sensitive. I'm not saying that God isn't a good Daddy who's strong enough to let me melt into a pile of frightened goo on His bosom while He defends me and protects me. I'm saying I need to be sturdy enough to carry out His will and not be useless on the battlefield. I need to be sturdy, strong, and solid enough for others to lean on me whenever they need to.

I'm saying God has let me fight my way through quite a few rush hours. I don't always get a break from them, but with His help, I have learned how to adeptly master a road that used to freak me out.

4) Sometimes people will fight with you, but there are some battles that you'll need to fight alone. Maybe Jesus experienced this at Gethsemane when He intended to have a few of His closest friends support Him through the roughest emotional struggle of His life. And they let Him down. But He wrestled, anyway. And He emerged triumphantly like the King of Kings that He is.

When I embarked on my 30s, I was excited to do so with a handful of friends. But something happened. I'm not sure what it was, but gradually I either watched friend after friend abandon me, or I felt like some of them were too unhealthy for me, so I was the one who walked away. Now they're mostly all gone.

I still have a small group of new friends who are available to fight some battles with me, but it looks much different than it used to. I feel like I'm fighting alone most of the time. But I wouldn't want to force, manipulate, or guilt-trip anyone into fighting with me, so I work with who/what I have. And there are some battles that I'm needing to fight alone.

I guess it's kind of like watching a baby chick hatch out of her shell. You feel like helping her, because she looks exhausted fighting her way through her little prison. But if you were to help her, you'd actually kill her. It is in her battle for breakthrough that she finds the strength she needs to stay alive and kicking. Baby chick needs to conquer the shell on her own. Then she can kick some barnyard butt.

5) I'm worth fighting for. There are all sorts of things swirling through my head as I write this... so many people in my past who had opportunities to either protect me or pursue me, but they didn't. They failed, and I either got hurt or slipped through their fingers.

I hope I don't mean this arrogantly, but their loss is God's gain. Jesus believed I was worth fighting for. He overcame sin, death, and the grave for me. And now HE has me. They don't.

 

6) "Family" is a group of creatures who belong together. These creatures will keep showing up until they stick to your life forever. Above is a photo of my lap this evening. It's actually a snapshot of what happens nearly every evening: My cats will find me and want to be where I am. They will cherish my presence. They have pretty much the entire apartment to hang out in, but throughout the evening, they choose to stick with me. They insist upon it.

They belong with me because they're mine, and I'm theirs.

Of course, it's the same way with me and God.

7) God truly will never, ever, ever leave me or forsake me. It says this in Hebrews 13:5, but He has proven this to me by simply showing up, 24/7, 365. I've given Him plenty of reasons to disown me. By mere human logic, He probably should have given up on me a long time ago.

But He didn't, and He won't, because I don't want Him to. He's committed to our relationship in a way that no one else could ever be committed. He thought me up, He made me, He bought me, He lives inside me, He surrounds me. He wants me. He yearns for me. He waits for me.

And He wants me to pursue Him, too. He rewards me when I do so.

Even though He is the most complex Person in the entire universe -- because He designed it and looks after it -- He keeps my life simple.

He is. I am. We are.

And I like Him. And He likes me.

OK, I think I'm good to go. Onward to my 40s!