Unemployment again

I seem to be becoming an expert of sorts on unemployment. This is the third time in six years that I've found myself between jobs. Not bad for a starving artist, eh? In 2014, I wrote a twelve-part series of blog posts on Unemployment that you're always welcome to read if you like. This post is a nod to that series, especially with a current photo of my pantry. (Don't worry; I'm not starving. I don't store all my food in my pantry, and I'm currently typing this on a very full stomach.)

My blog is like my journal that I keep online. I talk about my life here. Metaphorically speaking, I slice my heart open and show you what it looks like while it's still beating and healing. You're welcome to take a look anytime.

So, long story short, I was basically forced to quit my job about two weeks ago. Upper management got wind of the fact that I was unhappy there and told me to pack my things. How dare I work there only for a paycheck!

Anyway, moving on. I feel like I learned some important lessons while I was there, and I'm glad I get to take those with me. (No, they're too big to fit into a cardboard box.)

So, I'm unemployed again. This is familiar territory, and I talked through some of my old familiar fears with God, and lately I've been feeling OK. Thankfully, one good thing about familiarity is that I know what to expect. I thought I'd make a list of some of the things that I've learned during the unemployment bumps on my journey through the years:

1) I'm a survivor. Cue Gloria Gaynor. Years ago when I lived with parents -- and struggled through seasons of unemployment with them -- they treated me like I was some kind of helpless little kid. Well, excuse me for growing up in an abusive home where I wasn't taught any life skills. I think if they could see me now, they would be shocked at how much of a badass I've become (please pardon my French). During my years of emotional healing, I've learned that a major strategy of demonic attack on little fighters like myself IS abuse, which is pretty ironic, and which ends up biting the devil in the butt later on. In a really big way.

2) It is possible to live on peanut butter and raisin bran. It isn't kind to your digestive system, but I won't go into details. "Tirzah, have you lost weight? You look good!" Yeah, thanks. That's, uh, because food costs money. Thankfully, I took a pay cut so that I could work at my previous job (evidence that I was NOT unhappy there the entire time), so I had to cut back on spending anyway. Also thankfully, I currently have more than just peanut butter and raisin bran in my kitchen. (And I don't plan on letting it get that bad again.)

3) Sometimes God gives you unexpected vacations so that you can take care of important life-stuff. I think this is what He was trying to show me during my brief unemployment period back in 2011, but I ended up finding full-time work after approximately one month of searching. Way back in 2001, Choochie was a kitten and needed to get spayed; I was out of work, but I'm glad I was available to help her through her healing process. Fast forward to this year: God has been teaching me about rest, so maybe unemployment in 2017 shouldn't have come as a surprise.

4) Online job applications are SO unpredictable. Some of them only take a few seconds to complete, and others can take an hour or two. (At least.) But it's worth the shot, so just push through until it's done.

5) Never underestimate the phenomenon of being in the right place at the right time. Incidentally, that's how I got my previous job. Employers can make their job descriptions as specific as they want (seriously, who has four years of experience in writing for a marketing agency?), but ultimately it will boil down to how desperate you two are for each other. If you have what an employer wants, and if they have what you want, and if the price is right, you've got the job.

6) Don't be surprised when potential employers suddenly show up at your door AFTER you finally find a job. (Seriously, where were you people when I was living on peanut butter and raisin bran??) Ecclesiastes 11:1 says, "Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days." I'm still not sure why some employers will suddenly show an interest in me two or three months after I apply for their job, but at least this gives me hope that if I keep sowing, eventually I could reap.

7) God is VERY serious about taking care of me. The last time I was unemployed, I found a job six months after I started collecting unemployment payments -- during the last week of unemployment. I had been checking an online job board for a long time and had been applying for jobs there, but no one was interested in me. Then one day, I suddenly saw a job that I hadn't seen there before. I followed the instructions on the job listing, got an interview, took a writing test, got a second interview, and got hired. In the nick of time.

8) I AM WORTH IT. Every time you see a resume, you see a list of job experiences, qualifications, education, and skills... but what you're really seeing is a person. You're seeing a human being who's dressed themselves up to look presentable enough to fit into your company culture so that they can earn a paycheck. So that they can earn a living. So that they can live. Sure, it might be inconvenient to call them, ask them a few questions, invite them to your office, ask them some more questions, check their background, check their references, and repeat the process for every job candidate that you have. Maybe your company specializes in some very specific things, and you're afraid that somebody new is going to just waltz in there and mess it all up. But maybe that somebody is willing to adapt to your company and pour themselves into your mission and work their fingers to the bone so that your baby will live to see another day. Because your livelihood is now their livelihood, too.

I am a human being; therefore, I am worth going through that entire process. Jesus thought I was good enough to die for -- just because I need Him and because I'm still breathing. That means I AM good enough.

That means I AM WORTH IT.

Cuing Gloria Gaynor, weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh, no, not I. I will survive. As long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give. I will survive.