Rejection revisited

I've blogged about rejection before (for example, here and here), but I hope you don't mind me jotting down a few extra thoughts here.

I haven't always been a cat person. When I was a kid, I used to think cats were snobs. I mean, they look like snobs. Sometimes they act like snobs. But when you get to know them, they're actually not snobby at all. God designed them to be very regal animals. In fact, He describes Himself as the Lion of Judah. A lion is a type of cat -- the ultimate king of the cats.

God also designed cats to sleep... and sleep... and sleep... a lot. In the photo I shared at the beginning of this post, Choochie isn't being snobby. She isn't ignorning me. She isn't punishing me by turning her back on me. She isn't acting haughtily. She's just asleep. She's napping. Cats have 3 different pairs of eyelids (whereas we humans only have 2), so their eyes are designed to be extra covered while they are sleeping. It takes a lot to wake up a cat.

But if you didn't know this about cats, perhaps this photo would accidentally offend you. If I never spent time with my cats, and if I never took the time to get to know them, perhaps I would be constantly offended by them. Earlier today when I was leaving the apartment to go to the beautiful coin laundromat, Macho was napping in the living room, and he didn't make eye contact with me or say goodbye or acknowledge my presence or my departure at all. I think maybe he was just in dreamland. I think maybe he was just being a cat.

Cats are incapable of smiling, so they're incapable of showing delight in that manner. But they are equipped with a motorcycle-like purring apparatus that expresses delight in a way that only a regal animal could get away with. I repeat: Cats are not snobs.

For the record, God isn't a snob, either.

"He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him." (Isaiah 53:3)

"And Moses went up to God, and the Lord called to him from the mountain, saying, 'Thus you shall say to the house of Jacob, and tell the children of Israel: "You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to Myself. Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine." ' ... Now all the people witnessed the thunderings, the lightning flashes, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood afar off. Then they said to Moses, 'You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die.' " (Exodus 19:3-5, 20:18-19)

I'm not sure exactly why the Israelites freaked out and rejected God's offer of intimacy at the beginning of their wilderness journey. Perhaps the thunderbolts and lightning were very, very frightening them. (Please pardon my references to "Bohemian Rhapsody." Didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow...) Perhaps God was the first Deity who actually expressed wanting to fellowship with them, and they didn't know how to take it. Or perhaps they were simply ex-slaves who had been mistreated all their lives, and they just expected everybody to keep mistreating them, including God.

Using my imagination, I wonder if maybe God's feelings were a bit hurt. I mean, after going through all the trouble of hearing their cries of distress, calling Moses and teaming him up with his brother Aaron, sending locusts, sending frogs, turning the Nile River into blood, slaying Egyptian firstborns, etc. -- after going to all that trouble to show the Israelites that He really cared about them, that He really wanted them, and that He really loved them, they were like, "Eh, that's OK. You can just talk to Moses for us. You can just keep all your cool God-stuff to yourself. We'll be content to stay clueless and worship golden calves later on." I mean, gosh.

And of all the human beings who ever walked this earth, Jesus (who is fully Human and fully God) is the least deserving of rejection. And yet, I think He's the One who gets rejected the most. If anyone knows how to handle rejection the right way, it's Him.

And if anyone has ever accepted me, it's definitely Him.

One thing I've noticed about rejection is that it's sort of like a software program on your computer with annoying updates that are hard to control. One minute, you log on and mind your own business, and the next minute, you notice that 200+ MB of something has downloaded on your computer, and you're like, Um, I don't remember downloading anything. Dang, I hope I don't exceed my allotted kilobytes for the month. So much for that movie I wanted to watch on YouTube! Then you start typing up a blog post, and you realize your computer has been completely taken hostage by a benevolent software update that will require a reboot in a few hours.

Rejection is kinda the same way, especially if it's still a stronghold in your life. (And when I say "you" and "your," I mean "me" and "my.") One minute, you're living your life and minding your own business. You decide to start something new at church, work, school, etc., that requires meeting new people and adapting pretty much your entire schedule to hanging out with these new people for the long haul. Then somebody says something like, "We hope we didn't scare you away!" or "Yay, you came back!" and it's cute and funny the first couple of times. But then you begin to wonder if perhaps there are some red flags that you need to be aware of. You're like, Um, I don't remember noticing anything wrong with these people. Is there stuff going on behind the scenes that I should know about? Dang, I should probably start looking for new people to hang out with. So much for trying to get to know these freaks! Then you maintain your social caution, and you gradually distance yourself until the new relationships die altogether and you move on to the new something at church, work, school, etc.

Rejection is sort of like a virus. If you've caught enough viruses and have become deathly ill multiple times, you'll probably get a bit paranoid anytime anyone sneezes and/or complains about feeling feverish. You feel one little sneeze, or you hear one little remark, and then the software update starts downloading and suddenly demands a reboot. "OH, MY GOSH, IT'S ALL OVER! I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!" Then you spend the rest of your life trying to live like the boy in the plastic bubble, feeling like you have no immunities and that, in some form or fashion, you are doomed for an early death.

At some point, however, you've gotta put your foot down and say that enough is enough.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ... to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1:3, 6)

My pastor's sermon from this weekend got me thinking a little bit about the verses I just quoted above. Ironically, in Jesus -- the Beloved who has been continually rejected -- I am accepted. The only One who will always, always accept me, the only One who has never, ever let me down, the only One who has totally, completely been there for me, is God. The only One who will forever keep me from falling apart during rejection is God, in His infinite acceptance of me and His faithful friendship with me.

And yet, even though rejection has a terrible reputation, I personally have found rejection in general to be a very powerful thing, for better or for worse. Rejection can send a person spiraling down into a crippling depression. Rejection can get an employee fired from a job. Rejection can separate a victim from an abuser for life. And I daresay that rejection can isolate a person from God forever. I mean, how can a person be accepted in the Beloved if he/she has never, ever received the Beloved?

Just because one of my cats -- or a human being, for that matter -- has his or her back turned to me, or neglects to make eye contact with me, or seems to be completely ignoring me, doesn't mean that he/she is rejecting me. He/she may be occupied with other things. Or he/she may just be shy. Or just asleep. During mealtimes, I know my cats will give me their undivided attention. That is for sure.

"The eyes of all look expectantly to You, and You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing." (Psalm 145:15-16)

I'm sure God understands. When trouble hits people, they tend to come running to Him. The mobs who rejected Him are suddenly on their knees seeking His face. I think He's used to it. I think He's extremely patient with the human race. A few months ago, I don't remember His exact words, but He basically told me, "I don't want you to talk to Me just when you're asking for stuff." He's interested in 24/7/365 friendship with me, and He isn't one of those friends who gushes flattery and then isn't there for you when you need Him. He's serious, He's sincere, and He'll stick with you forever if you'll let Him.

If God seems to have His back turned to me, or if He seems to be ignoring me, or if He seems to be all-out rejecting me, I'm probably just misinterpreting His behavior. Perhaps He's just being a Gentleman, and gentlemen are often comfortable with silence. Perhaps He's just waiting for me to finish processing life so that it can sink in through all those skull-layers of mine and my revelation can finally click. Or perhaps He's crying over me, and He doesn't want me to hear. Regardless, He hasn't rejected me. On the contrary, He has continually proven His acceptance of me.

The more I get to know Him, the more I understand this about Him. He isn't just a presence that shows up during a quiet time. He isn't just a Name that's powerful enough to slice through strongholds in a single bound. He isn't just a holiday. He's a Person, a Faithful One who's big enough and strong enough and gentle enough to heal all the ways that dinky little human beings have sliced through my soul in a single bound. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Hmm. Well, if you're talking about God, it's the former for sure. Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see.