Monday, February 19, 2018

Love, hate, and MeepMeep

Several ideas have been swirling around in my head for a while, and I thought it would be interesting to combine them here and see what happens.

 
I've mentioned this before, but I believe that God used my previous cats Macho and Choochie (pictured on the left) to teach me about how to relate to Him, and now He's using MeepMeep (pictured on the right) to teach me about how to love people. Notice that in this photo, Macho and Choochie are politely enjoying themselves while respecting my things, but MeepMeep is totally making herself at home in MY space. (I didn't even know it was possible to use a piano keyboard as a scratching post, but MeepMeep figured out a way. She's impressive.)

I will now abruptly switch gears. Last week -- on Valentine's Day -- one of the higher-ups at work gave us a tirade about how we weren't working fast enough or good enough. I was reminded pretty quickly that God really intended this job to be a temp job, cuz I ain't gonna want to stay all that long in a place that lectures me for working my butt off for them. Know what I mean? I've been trying to keep as of positive an attitude as I can during this prolonged season of temp-employment, because I honestly am thankful for the paycheck, and because I know that God is doing some important things inside me right now, and because I know that He wants me there right now. (And because I wouldn't be able to work where I REALLY want to work for at least another six months). A guest pastor at church preached a sermon at the beginning of the year in which he encouraged us to persevere, and I know that my job is a place where I need to just keep my head down and press through, especially when it's difficult. But a lecture at work on top of it being Valentine's Day just made the entire day a load of --

Anyway, while I was doing dishes either that night or the day after, I remarked to the Lord about how crazy it was that I could suddenly go from loving the upper-level managers at work to hating them. He basically said, "That's what it's like with authority. You either love them, or you hate them. You've been trying to find a middle ground, but you won't." I will probably be chewing on that piece of wisdom for the rest of my life.

I'm not saying that this is a word for the body of Christ at large, or for everybody, but I know that it's for me. I think there's some biblical evidence for it. For instance...

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." (Jesus talking in Matthew 6:24 about money, but I think the same principle applies)

"When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when a wicked man rules, the people groan." (Proverbs 29:2)

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." (Deuteronomy 6:5, where I think it's very interesting how God, the ultimate Authority of all authorities, tells us how He wants us to relate to Him)

One of my English teachers in high school shared one of the coolest pieces of wisdom I've ever heard: The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. Love and hate involve passion, but indifference doesn't involve any passion at all. That's why love and hate are basically like a switch. You can go from loving something/someone one day to suddenly hating it/them the next. All you did was redirect your passion.

I think that can happen with authority figures. I frickin' LOVE being under authority, I love being mentored, and I love getting to flourish under somebody else's wing. But if that somebody suddenly shames me, abuses me, or otherwise disses me -- especially if I've been faithful and hardworking -- I can get resentful VERY quickly. I'll start fighting very hateful thoughts toward that person. God has been showing me that those thoughts might not necessarily go away right away... or at all.

I'm in a unique season of my life when my emotions are so freed up that I'm unhinged on the inside. I'm in my early 40s, I don't have a husband or parents to answer to, and I really couldn't care less about what other people think about me. Basically, I have nothing to lose. There's so much freedom to just go for it right now. So, I'm kind of getting an emotional crash course in self-control.

I understand that when an offense happens, I need to forgive. If I'm bitter about something, I need to work through it and get rid of it. If I get wounded, I need to let God heal me from it before it festers and destroys me. I'm acutely aware of this process. When the rage against the authority flows freely through my insides, I need to control it and work through it. Currently, when I talk to God about it, He basically just says something like, "Keep it in your head. You're not acting on it." Some days, the stuff I internally work through can get pretty intense.

But my word for this year is "brazen." God has been showing me that I'm tough; I'm strong; I can handle stuff that maybe I didn't realize I could handle in the past. I'm strong enough to choose love, honor, and blessing. I'm strong enough to NOT punch anybody in the face. I'm strong enough to NOT take revenge (or to let God take it Romans-12 style).

I'm strong enough because God has strengthened me and shaped me in the fire... kind of like a Blacksmith forging an iron weapon to be used in battle. Say hello to His little friend: Tirzah. She's strong enough to kick the devil in his scrawny little --

Abruptly switching gears again, I'm learning how to show other people grace, and I'm learning how to show myself grace. I think I understand more than ever why God doesn't sanitize my internal emotional flare-ups: I wouldn't be myself.
  

My cat MeepMeep has been going into heat rather frequently this winter. (I think the cold weather is what gets her all excited.) It's kind of like a Jekyll and Hyde thing where she turns into a completely different cat for a week or so. When she's normal, I'm SO glad to have her back to her old self because she's more manageable. When she's in heat, she only has one thing on her mind, and she won't leave me alone until her passion is satisfied. (Sorry, kitty, but Mama isn't a boy cat.)

It can get pretty overwhelming. I've even considered taking her back to the vet office and telling them that it isn't working out for her to live with me anymore. I've thought about it... but I won't do it. If I were to return her, you'd may as well rip my heart out with a fork.

Because I love her. I want her just the way she is -- misplaced passion and all. Yes, I can't wait until her hormones have all worked themselves out of her system for good and she doesn't go into heat anymore. But here's the deal: I wouldn't trade her or her intense emotions for anything -- NOT EVEN FOR A NORMAL CAT.

See that picture I shared of her several paragraphs up? That was her saying Hi to me while I was writing this post. This evening, she's normal, so I'm able to write this thing in peace.

When she's in heat, she's restless and insatiable. But I don't disown her. I don't lock her away in a room until she decides to behave. I let her finish her cycle, even if it is a major inconvenience for me. And when she's finished her cycle, we've come through yet another situation where we've bonded together, and she's stronger as a cat. (For example, after her most recent heat cycle, she started meowing more.)

People can be the same way. They can get obsessive about one little issue, and they won't leave you alone until their restlessness is satisfied. Shunning or shaming these people can be an easy way to get rid of them... but being patient with them can help you understand their heart, and vice versa. Then after they've worked through their issue, come down off their soapbox, or simply calmed down, perhaps you've gained a lifelong friend.

I'm learning all kinds of interesting lessons about people right now. One thing I've noticed is that grown adults can totally turn into little kids anytime they learn something new, or anytime they're comfortable in a situation, or anytime they're fully allowed to be themselves. If you're in charge when this happens, you gotta put your big-girl pants on and be patient, gracious, and loving towards them. (And you might also need to draw some boundaries.) Otherwise, you'll hurt them.

I know what I'm talking about, because it's happened to me. But hopefully I've learned how NOT to treat people.

As a side note, I hope I'm not being all hoity-toity about me being an awesome leader. I already know I'm not perfect. Maybe there are people out there who hate me, too. I heard choir people talk about me behind my back once. (Or maybe they just thought it was behind my back.) I think and pray through that type of thing with God, too. When you let people express how they're really feeling, you get to see what's really in their heart.

For now, I'm enjoying MeepMeep's normal streak. I just now walked a few laps around the living room while I was holding her. For the record, she is much more affectionate than Macho and Choochie ever were. MeepMeep's emotions aren't always very controlled, but they are always very deep. I like it that way.

I think God likes it that way, too, and I think that's why He doesn't zap me off the face of the earth whenever I'm acting like a foolish little --

Thanks for reading!

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