Casserole2

If you missed the first Casserole post, you can check it out here.

----------------------------

I mostly did my taxes today. I haven't finished crunching all the numbers yet, but so far it looks like I'm going to get a refund this year. Last year, I ended up owing around $800. I think that means either I'm in a much lower tax bracket this year, or my previous employer kind of screwed me over last year.

----------------------------

 

I think MeepMeep's hormones have been settling, because she hasn't gone into heat for about a month (around Valentine's Day, go figure). She recently developed a voracious appetite for food, so I've been trying to not feed her too much. Lately, she's been politely requesting food when it isn't feeding time. It took me a while to figure out what she meant when she would crawl up onto my leg or crouch outside the bathroom door (when I'm not in there) or just randomly meow. Oh; it's because your bowl is empty. She hasn't developed a flabby gut like Macho did, so I'm hopefully not overfeeding her.

But far be it from me to deny her request when it's time to eat.

----------------------------

"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." (Philippians 4:11-12)

This morning when I woke up, I noticed that my hip, wrist, and foot were hurting, and then I noticed that the weather was colder. Then I wasn't surprised. As I get older, I notice that my body helps me predict the weather. If my hair is behaving in the morning, that means the weather will be awesome. If my hair is being unusually stubborn, that means the weather will become bad later in the day. And, apparently, if I have old-person pains in my joints, that means I should probably dress warmly.

I still don't understand why people marvel at how the weather is acting. This is Texas. In the summertime, it's going to be hot. In January, it's going to be cold. If it isn't officially spring yet, there's a chance that the temperature could dip below freezing. If it isn't officially fall yet, the temperature will be parked on the 90s and the 100s. And if it's fall or winter, and if the weather suddenly gets hot, that means it's about to suddenly get cold again.

Spiritual seasons are the same way. If I'm in a season of prosperity (I believe the New King James Version says that this type of season is when you "abound"), everything about that season will have characteristics of prosperity. My bank account will be fat and happy. The atmosphere of my soul will be peaceful and happy. It will be easier for me to give -- moneywise and soulwise -- because I will have more than enough to go around.

If I'm in a season where I'm being squeezed tightly (when you're "abased" in the NKJV), everything in that season will squeeze me. My bank account will be skinny and sad. The atmosphere of my soul will be fighting to not become depressed, and I'm probably going to be working through a lot of anger. I'll probably be grieving the loss of something or somebody, I'll probably be hurting, and I'll probably be pretty needy -- moneywise and soulwise. But some very good things can come out of this type of season.

I didn't write any songs last year (because God told me to not write any), but He reminded me recently about the desperate times last year when I would pace around my living room and pour out my heart to Him. He basically showed me that I gave all my poetry to Him that way. Sweet. If He's happy, I'm happy.

One thing He showed me last year was that I've learned how to be content when I'm "abased," but I've never really learned how to be content when I'm "abounding." So, He said sarcastically, "I'm just going to have to take you through another season of abounding." Oh, darn.

So, I'm keeping my eyes peeled open for that season change.

----------------------------

In my constant struggle to have the perfect quiet time -- or perhaps to not obsess over how perfect it supposedly has to be -- God recently spoke something rather profound: "I don't care what you do during your quiet time. I just want a relationship with you." Lately, I've been having a 10-minute iPhone quiet time where He'll lead me to read a Psalm, but He really seems more interested in me chatting with Him than anything else. (And I mean chatting like a teenager at a slumber party.) I also sing a little bit, but when I do, MeepMeep will shoot out of nowhere and try to bite my arm.

Someday, I might just grab all my Bibles off the shelf and arrange them on the floor into the shape of a heart. Sigh.

----------------------------

When I was in high school, my birth father started a church. (It split off from another church.) He hated Daylight Saving Time. So, in his congregation, he began the tradition of everyone setting their clocks forward/backward together at the very END of the church service on Sunday morning. (That was before everyone had a smartphone, when everyone was still wearing a wristwatch.)

I thought about that tradition this weekend. If you weren't aware of Dad's corporate time-change tradition, and if you had set your clock forward the night before so that you could be on time for the 11:00 service, you'd end up arriving an hour early. In hindsight, I think this was Dad's way of manipulating people into going to Sunday School. Not cool.

The older I get, the more my personality reminds me of his, so I'm watching myself.

----------------------------

This afternoon/evening, I had my Dumb and Dumber DVD playing in the background. Listening to the 1994 soundtrack to that movie always transports me to my freshman year of college. I think about being in the cafeteria with those same songs or similar ones playing on the loudspeaker. I feel understood, and I feel safe.

Also today, I remembered when I was in the psych hospital in 2000. Somebody from church came to visit me in the ER, and they asked me if I remembered when was the last time I was happy. I replied when I was 6 years old.

Today, I realized that my answer in the ER wasn't accurate. I was happy in 1994 when I was a freshman in college. For me, maybe 1994 was just as magical of a year as 1982 was. I guess it was because I was adjusting to a new school, and I was putting down roots. In 1994, I was also introduced to the Holy Spirit, who made everything better and yet threw a wrench into the inner workings of my life so that I could never, ever go back to the way things were.

As Lloyd Christmas would say, "I like it a lottt."