Because I said so

An alternative title for this post would be Spiritual Abuse Part III, because I've already posted a Part I and a Part II. Yes, I'm still only about halfway through that book about spiritual abuse that I started reading two years ago, and God has still been healing me, and I've still been thinking through stuff.

Have you ever cleaned out a closet that's been dusty and cluttered for several years, and sifting through and understanding what's in there makes the cleaning process less daunting and even helps you put your entire apartment in perspective? Eww, this has been sitting here since forever. (Dusts off relic.) Gasp, so THAT'S where that was! (Joyfully rescues lost treasure from the closet's bowels.) Why the freakin' heck have I been storing this? (Flabbergastingly tosses ancient, unwanted junk into Dumpster.) Old issues can be like that. I think for me, spiritual abuse hasn't just been a one-stop-shop issue. It's been more of a three-story-shopping-mall issue. You might start out just strolling through and minding your own business, but suddenly POW! something sticks out at you, and you gotta check it out. Girlish shopping squeal! (I really don't like shopping unless it's for CDs or DVDs. I'm just mixing metaphors.)

"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10:17, NKJV)

I will talk about Catholicism in the next couple of paragraphs. My disclaimer is that, in general, I respect the Catholic Church. I honestly admire the way Catholicism involves the entire family and how Catholics make a big deal out of things that are supposed to be a big deal -- choosing a Pope and televising the ceremonies, for example (I mean, when was the last time a nondenominational church did something that nice when they hired a new pastor?). I appreciate and agree with Catholics' involvement in the political process and pro-life efforts. I know people who came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ through the Catholic Church. I want to respect anything that points people to my Jesus -- who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life -- and I don't want to disrespect anything that helps people meet God for the first time and grow in their faith in Him. However, I have major issues with Catholicism in terms of spiritual abuse. My desire here isn't to debate theology but to shine a light on something that might help people have a light-bulb moment of "Gasp, is THAT why such-and-such situation felt so wrong?"

Earlier this year, a friend attempted to convert me to Catholicism. I can understand her reasons for trying to do so (she insinuated that only Catholics go to heaven), but the persuasive materials she asked me to read significantly eroded my respect for the Catholic Church. Much of this inside information on Catholicism was new to me, because I didn't grow up Catholic; I grew up extremely Southern Baptist. (To get the full effect, pronounce it "babb-dist.") That verse in Romans that I quoted a few paragraphs ago was quoted in a book that was written by a Protestant-turned-Catholic. He basically said, "You don't need to READ the Bible. Faith comes by HEARING. Come to Mass and let the priest read the Bible FOR you." (He also said that it's OK for religious services to be boring and for love and thankfulness to become ritual, but whateva.) Being told to NOT read the Bible is one thing (I grew up memorizing the Bible's table of contents, and they won't unstick from my brain easily), but being told to let someone else read the Bible FOR me is not just a red flag. It's a three-story shopping mall with clearance sales of red flags at every store and packed parking lots that will make your children scream to go home and your "carry my purse for me, honey" husbands groan and shamelessly beg to escape retail red-flag pandemonium. Do you realize how dangerous it is to base your faith, your life's direction, your daily soul sustenance -- or even any teeny-tiny shred of information -- on what comes out of somebody ELSE'S mouth?

This danger isn't just in the Catholic Church. For example, I attended a Baptist college. In one of my classes, if memory serves, the professor stated that the apostle John did NOT write the Johannine epistles as is traditionally upheld. (Actually, this point of view was taught in much of the textbooks and professors in that particular department.) In English, that means that although traditionally it's believed that John the beloved disciple wrote the Book of John and also the Book of Revelation (he basically left his signatures in John 21:20-25 and Revelation 1:1-4) and also the books of 1 John, 2 John, and 3 John (the Johannine epistles), modern evidence supposedly doesn't support that John wrote the Johannine epistles. My professor said in class, straight out of his mouth, if I remember correctly, that the same guy didn't write all of those books. And yet, if I crack open my Bible and check it out for myself, I see things that seem too obvious to be coincidental.

For example, I know these books probably weren't written out in the chapter-and-verse format that we usually read from today, but here are some side-by-side snippet quotations in English. John 1:18 says, "No one has ever seen God." 1 John 4:8 says, "No one has ever seen God." Was my professor trying to tell me that authors used to plagiarize each another back then? John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." 1 John 1:1 says, "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched -- this we proclaim concerning the Word of life." Was my professor trying to tell me that the authors of these two books called each other and compared notes on how to write introductions? "Hey, Dude, I'm thinking of doing an 'In the beginning' allusion to Genesis 'cause I like how that John guy talks about Jesus being the Alpha and Omega in Revelation. You wanna copy me?" John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." 1 John 3:16 says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." Was my professor kidding me? Do I need a Ph.D. to opine that maybe the same guy wrote all 5 of these books? Is there a reason why modern scholars are too bullheaded to just agree with traditional teaching on this particular issue? Why the freakin' heck did my professor teach that what was staring me in the face, written in black and white, wasn't for real?

This particular professor lost a huge amount of credibility with me. For example, if you check out Matthew 6:4 in the NKJV, and then you look up the same verse in the NIV, you'll see that the NIV omits the word "openly" at the end. From what I understand, this is because many of the more "modern" translations don't include the word "openly" in their texts. But what sticks out in my brain is this particular professor standing up in class and declaring about the word "openly" with a teenagery scoff, "Jesus didn't say that." And my professor knows this because he was there when Jesus spoke it live? (Perhaps my professor had never been rewarded openly, and that's why he didn't have a problem teaching that God won't reward anyone openly for doing something in secret.) As I've thought about it, I also remembered that this particular professor once criticized how people pray -- not openly critiquing prayers that were offered aloud during class but simply stating his opinion on prayer in general. He said that he didn't like how people use the word "just" when they pray. For example, "Lord, just heal this person and just be with them." Well, Professor IForgotYourLastName, I just think you may have just accidentally caused just a tiny bit of disillusionment in just a few scores of students who have taken just a few of your classes over the years. Do you realize how dangerous it is to form opinions about the Bible on just what comes out of somebody ELSE'S mouth?

I'm about to offer a major example of the potential of "because I said so" spiritual abuse not because I want to stir up a huge controversy but because it's the biggest, most brain-ready example I can think of. Regardless of what you believe about speaking in tongues, I think it's safe to say that the people who wish to disprove the current existence and validity of tongues truly need to watch their mouths. Around the time that I was first experiencing the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues -- whether it was myself or whether it was listening to other people utilizing this gift -- I was given at least a couple of "because I said so" arguments which I now find faulty.

The first argument was "tongues will cease," which is straight out of 1 Corinthians 13. The argument was that in the days of the early church (i.e., right after Jesus ascended into heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to the early disciples), the Bible wasn't canonized yet; the thing "which is perfect" that is talked about in 1 Corinthians 13 hadn't come yet. The New Testament hadn't been written yet, so the only way to access this part of the Bible was through a word of tongues. This argument says that tongues have ceased because we have a complete Bible now. However, when I cracked open my Bible and checked it out for myself, I saw that the 3 verses in 1 Corinthians 13 that supposedly disprove the current existence of tongues were quoted out of context. (Excuse me, but isn't this how cults form? They take a tiny little verse and build a shrine around it and rewrite their own Bible to make it say whatever they want?) These teeny little verses are sandwiched between entire chapters that discuss speaking in tongues and other "my convention doesn't approve this" spiritual gifts. These entire chapters go into a great deal of detail about protocol and vision and what the utilization of these spiritual gifts is supposed to look like during a church service. 1 Corinthians 13, in context, is basically saying, "You can be as spiritually awesome or as spiritually weird as you like, but it's all supposed to be done in love, or it's all no good. Grow up and stop trying to draw attention to yourselves. Lay your lives down for one another and use your giftings to serve people." I really think those teeny little verses nestled inside 1 Corinthians 13 are basically just saying, "Sure, when we all get to heaven, we're all gonna be perfect, and we're not gonna need tongues or prophecy." I really don't think it says, "Just kidding, you can ignore all of 1 Corinthians 12 and 1 Corinthians 14 and other places in scripture that talk about manifestations of the Holy Spirit, because the expiration date on these spiritual gifts will take effect during the first edition printing of your Bible, coming soon to a Christian bookstore near you." Do you realize how dangerous it is to ignore how the Bible validates or invalidates an experience that you're having just because somebody ELSE'S mouth is trying to tell you that God ISN'T the same yesterday, today, or forever?

Regarding the subject of tongues, many years ago, I listened to a 1974 audio teaching by John MacArthur. The entire series was offered to disprove the current existence of tongues and, frankly, I think to deprogram people like me. What I got out of this particular series came at the very end, when John MacArthur quoted Ephesians 4:15 and said we should "speak the truth in love" and tell charismatics that they're sorely mistaken because tongues don't exist anymore. Well, John MacArthur, in love, you quoted Ephesians 4:15 out of context big-time, brother.

"Jesus answered, 'It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " (Matthew 4:4)

I was much wordier in this post than I had originally intended to be, but here's my main point: Depending solely on somebody ELSE'S words can dangerously open the door widely for spiritual abuse. (And for me, it has.) I'm not saying that we should be cynical or suspicious about everything. I'm saying that it's OK and healthy to question the food that other people -- especially those in spiritual authority -- try to feed us, no matter how small the morsel. Yes, we need other people to help us follow God and get to know Him better -- to help us with our RELATIONSHIP with God. But it's the person's job to point us to God, not to become our god.

Have you ever been in a relationship with another person, such as a friend, where all they did was talk and you blindly accepted everything they said? Unfortunately, I have, and those kinds of relationships are extremely boring, and after a while, they can make you feel non-human. I think the deepest, closest, most fun relationships that we enjoy are the ones in which we spend time getting to know the other person and experiencing who they are. To get to know them, we dig deep, investigate, and ask questions.

While it's true that we can accept everything that God says, period -- because He IS truth -- having a relationship with Him is the most exciting relationship that we can and should ever have. Is it because I said so? His words, His food, are our life. If I blindly depend on someone else to feed me without my inspecting the morsels, I could end up getting spiritual food poisoning. I could end up being controlled or manipulated in a way that could harm or damage me. (And I have.) To get healing from that, I need to go directly to God, anyway, so why not just start with Him in the first place?

I don't care how big a crowd is drawn to a clearance sale -- I don't want to go shopping for any red flags.

Eww, that's nasty!

No disclaimer this time. Unabashed graphicness up front. I hope that's OK.

These are my cat Macho's two teeth that got pulled at a recent vet visit. The vet assistant offered to let me take them home inside the plastic bottle that you see pictured along with the two bloody remnants. On cats, routine dental procedures such as cleanings are treated like major surgical procedures because the cats are put under anesthesia. (That makes sense. My cats barely even let me touch their mouths with my fingers, much less let a vet scoop out tooth decay with metallic instruments while they're awake.) If a cat gets a cavity, the tooth is usually pulled instead of drilled. So, these tiny little teeth were pulled while Macho was knocked out, and taking care of him afterwards was a majorly huge deal for Macho, me, and my entire household. This was actually the third time he's had the procedure done, but this was the nastiest and most dramatic time. I've never had surgery, but you know me -- this entire physical process of a surgery-like procedure reminded me of a spiritual process that I've gone through and am going through. I might get a tad redundant from some of my previous posts, but I thought it would be neat to take a fresh look at a pungent topic.

I had to leave Macho at the vet's office overnight, which I think was a somewhat traumatic process for him. After wrestling him into his carrier and sitting in traffic while he howled, I lugged him into the examining room where he was weighed (and he had a pretty strong tabby-grip on the scale) and given over to the technicians so they could do bloodwork, etc. I hoped he didn't think I was giving him away and not coming back, but the next day I returned to the vet's office at the time when they said he'd be ready. They warned me about the aftereffects of the anesthesia. He was very loopy, and instead of his usual "meow" or "wow," he communicated with me during the car ride home with a muffled "mrrr." They also warned me that he would be drooling, but oh, my goodness, Macho's mouth emitted a manly amount of drool for the next couple of hours after I got him home.

The anesthesia would take a couple of days to wear off, and the next 72 hours were very critical. Macho had an extremely awkward time readjusting to home life at first. In addition to the chronic drooling, he limped around the apartment and appeared extremely uncomfortable. A couple of times, I saw him reclining on the carpet and panting very quickly while closing his eyes. He had been stuck inside a boarding area at the vet's office, so he more than likely went for about 32 hours without grooming himself. His fur was shedding and covered in stress dandruff. As if his condition weren't humiliating enough, the vet people had had to shave around part of his forearm to insert an IV. (Now he's got a bald ring around his arm that will probably take quite a while to grow back completely.) I monitored him pretty closely while I fed him a soft diet (in a room separate from Choochie, who ate crunchy food as usual) and intermittently administered (forced) medicine into his freshly cleaned, recuperating mouth. So, Macho's recovery process, even after I stopped following him around the apartment and cleaning up his drool puddles, was a complicated mess.

Choochie had her own truly surgical procedure many years ago when she got spayed. After I brought her home from the vet, I kept a very close eye on her (I had the time to do so because I was unemployed at the time), and I was instructed to keep her away from other animals, so she lived inside the carrier for a few days. The first day, I let her out of the carrier to go to the litterbox, and she stumbled out of it, and then she gladly returned to the confinement of the carrier so she could sleep. She had a fairly large incision that was surrounded by an area of shaved-off fur (that took about 6 months to grow back completely). Being the curious feline that she is, she became obsessed with her stitches and scrape-licked them until they and the shaved-off area became infected. The infection emitted a rank stench that scared Macho away after I could allow Choochie to interact with other animals again. So, I took her back to the vet so that they could treat her infection by removing the stitches. Since her surgery was pretty major, her recovery process took a long time (especially with the infection). I remember the first time she jumped on a nearby piece of furniture after the surgery, she had a look on her face that seemed to say, "Owwwww."

"The Lord builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the exiles of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:2-3)

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul." (Psalm 23:2-3a)

"The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." (Psalm 145:13b-14)

So, while I was hovering over and staring at Macho one evening during his 72-hour critical recovery time frame, I was reminded of the truths that God was teaching me during Choochie's long recovery process many years ago. God reminded me once again how gentle He is with me and how much He intricately cares about my spiritual/emotional/soul healing, recuperation, and recovery -- my soul restoration. Sometimes when we talk about emotional healing, we compare it to having surgery. John 15 says that God the Father prunes us if we bear fruit. Sometimes when God spiritually prunes and/or does surgery on me, it can be a major procedure that could possibly involve some anesthesia and a temporary knockout. Or  -- and this is usually the case with me -- He skips the anesthesia altogether and performs the procedure while I'm awake and can feel every slice, every pierce, every drilling, and every stitch.

Then the recovery process is an extremely crucial, delicate, and messy one. If God removes something from my soul -- perhaps the procedure was a decay-ectomy -- I might be a little sore later from the incision, and I might seriously miss whatever it was that was surgically removed. I may drool, groan, and wander around aimlessly in my Father's house while He patiently dotes on me and cleans up my drool after me. I may become obsessed with my new stitches and start picking at them until a disgusting, stinky infection develops that might scare other people away for a while. (Acquiring an infection could lengthen my treatment time.) The recovery process may require some healthy isolation while I am put on a diet of special food and am given some special medicine. (Some battles are meant to be fought privately. Even Jesus was led out into the wilderness in Matthew 4 to be tempted by the devil.) Or other times, I'm surrounded by technicians, nurses, and other patients. (Galatians 6:2 says to bear one another's burdens.) Regardless, after carefully following the Doctor's orders, I can enter back into regular life eating regular food, no longer requiring medicine, and waiting for that metaphorically shaved-off part of my metaphorical forearm to grow back. It may be a bit awkward and embarrassing for a little while, but I'll get to bond with my Shepherd more closely than ever during the entire process, and I'll get to metaphorically whip out my little metaphorical plastic bottle from time to time and display my metaphorically bloody remnants: "Hey, everybody, see what God removed during my decay-ectomy? No anesthesia! It made me want to get a tattoo afterwards!" Eww, that's nasty! But hopefully if I encounter anyone else who may need God to perform a decay-ectomy on them, hearing about my surgery and recovery may help them.

So, Macho is scheduled for a follow-up appointment next week. He had a somewhat unstable past before he officially became my cat, so I'm usually concerned that he'll think that I'm stuffing him into the carrier and driving off with him so that I can give him away (instead of simply taking him to the vet). Nope. He's mine forever, and I hope he knows it. I wouldn't go through all this trouble if I didn't intend to keep him for good.

When a box of Kleenex becomes a close friend

Heads-up, reader: I will write most of this post while heavily under the influence of generic DayQuil. I'm not an ordained minister or a theologian; I'm an artist and a meditator. I plan to take today's meditation on a wildly infectious psychedelic ride to cool places that will groovily help my soul and hopefully help yours, too. Dig it.

This post will be graphic enough as it is, so I didn't want to add to the graphicness by posting a photo of my actual snot. So, I decided to post a nice beauty shot of my cat posing above with my Kleenex box. (Rather, he consented to the photo shoot. The conversation went something like this: "Can I take your picture with a box of Kleenex?" "Meow." [Faithfully follows me trottingly into the next room where the lighting is better.])

So, I've mentioned previously that Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." If we hope for something and it doesn't happen, or if we hope in somebody and they disappoint us, doing so could make us heart-sick or soul-sick. Currently, I'm sick physically. I think I have some sort of cold or upper respiratory infection. It's been a long time since I've been as sick as I am now, so I've almost forgotten what it's like to be sick. But I've been reminded, and I've noticed that being sick physically seems a whole lot similar to being sick in my soul. I'd like to offer the following examples.

Physically sick: When you're genuinely call-in-sick-and-stay-at-home-and-get-some-rest sick, pretty much all you can think about is your sickness. It consumes you. "Aw, man, I'm sick. Aw, man, I'm sick. Aw, man, I'm sick. Aw, man, I'm sick. Aw, man, I'm sick. Is this all there is to life -- lying here in bed and trying not to move too much? What's it like to be well? I kinda forgot. Time to nap now. Aw, man, I'm sick."

Soul-sick: When you're genuinely I-have-a-major-heartache-that-God-needs-to-heal sick, pretty much all you can think about is your pain. It consumes pretty much every aspect of your life. "Aw, man, I'm hurting. Aw, man, I'm hurting. Aw, man, I'm hurting. Aw, man, I'm hurting. Aw, man, I'm hurting. Is this all there is to life -- taking classes at church and trying to get better? What's it like to not hurt? I've kinda forgotten, and I hope I'm not obsessing too much over my issues. Time to let God do whatever He wants with my heart. Aw, man, I'm hurting."

Physically sick: It's important to pay attention to symptoms, especially because they could help you diagnose your condition... but getting carried away with the possibilities could also become unhealthy. For instance, if I get a sore throat and feel somewhat achy, I know that I'm more than likely catching a cold. That means that as the infection progresses, the sore throat will give way to sinus drainage which will give way to a stuffy, sneezy nose which will give way to a lingering cough. So, getting a sore throat will help me understand what I'm dealing with and how to tackle it. However, if I get a sore throat, and my mind starts going to nutty places such as "OH, MY GOSH, I'M GOING TO GET STREP THROAT AND DIE!" that ain't healthy. Just take it a step at a time. If it seems like a manageable cold, deal with it and move on. If it seems like a freaky infection that needs medical attention, go to a doctor and take it from there.

Soul-sick: It's important to pay attention to the pain you feel, especially because it could help you know what kind of healing you need... but letting your mind take you to unrealistic places could also become unhealthy. For instance, if I hurt anytime I see mutual friends hanging out with each other and not me, I know that I'm more than likely dealing with a rejection wound. That means that I need to take my pain to God and let Him heal it and talk to me about it before it becomes worse and I start believing lies about myself (i.e., "I suck") and/or start engaging in destructive behavior that I've blogged about previously. Perhaps praying about it would be sufficient, or perhaps forgiving my mutual friends for the perceived rejection would help me stop hurting, or perhaps if my mutual friends continued to exclude me, my talking to them about it assertively (not aggressively) would help clear things up. If it seems like my pain is out of my league to handle, perhaps a trained minister could help me work through some deeper issues.

Physically sick: Ignoring symptoms is downright unhealthy. If I'm feeling feverish, nauseous, or dizzy, etc., pretending that my symptoms aren't there and just living my life as usual could be harmful to my body and to others around me. What if you were to, say, go on a field trip to a museum with your second-grade class and, instead of telling a teacher you feel bad, just continue viewing the exhibits until you puke your guts out in front of your entire class in the middle of the museum? Well, I'll tell you what happens. You grow up to use it as an example in your blog about how it's not good to ignore symptoms.

Soul-sick: Ignoring symptoms is downright unhealthy. If you're particularly skilled at looking good -- wearing nice clothes, wearing makeup, having shiny hair -- you could probably mask a soul-sickness pretty well. Perhaps pretending that little things don't bother you could build up to a sudden outburst of soul-puke that could embarrass you, shame other people, and/or scar you or other people for life. If you're going to hawk a spiritual loogie, please don't aim it at my face.

Physically sick: Getting sick isn't always my fault. If somebody sneezes into their hand before they shake mine, I'll more than likely inherit their germs.

Soul-sick: Having an infection isn't always my fault. If somebody else hurts me and/or abuses me, I'll more than likely have some stuff to work through later.

Physically sick: Obsessing over symptoms and worshiping the illness is also downright unhealthy. I'll elaborate on that a couple of paragraphs down.

Soul-sick: Obsessing over your pain and worshiping it is also downright unhealthy. When I was much younger, a lady at church used to talk about how she used to have a son until he was taken away from her, and she thought it was extremely unfair that she couldn't ever see him. I'm sure it was excruciatingly unfair and that she was aching over it, but she talked about it constantly. I'm guessing that she needed some sort of grief counseling or family counseling or other kind of professional help. I'm guessing she didn't get the help she needed, because her remaining family had some dysfunctions later. Hopefully I'm wrong, and she got help after all.

Physically sick: If you have a support system available, use it! Find family members to feed you soup and crackers in bed and/or serve you gallons of orange juice and/or read you bedtime stories until it's time for your next nap. On the other hand... I'm not sure how to say this nicely. Don't find overtly codependent people. I can say from experience that they are creepy and could possibly make you sicker. I'm about to type something in all caps because if I were telling it to you in person, my eyes would be very wide and I would be creepily swirling my head into your face. "OHHH, YOU'RE SICK! THAT MEANS THAT YOU WILL DIE WITHOUT ME! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T MAKE IT WITHOUT ME. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME? HERE. HAVE SOME SOUP, BABY. Gasp! Did you sneeze? Why did you sneeze? NOW YOU'RE GOING TO CATCH PNEUMONIA! I WILL CONTINUE TO SPEAK DEATH OVER YOU SO THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEPEND ON ME FOR LIIIIIFE..."

Soul-sick: If you have a support system available, use it! Find church people and/or close friends to encourage you and hold up your arms until God finishes flushing out your heart-infection. On the other hand... there isn't a way to say this nicely. Stay away from overtly codependent people. I can say from experience that, especially if they're in the ministry, they could possibly use you to affirm their identity, and then you'll have a big-time problem on your hands. "OHHH, YOU'RE DEPRESSED! THAT MEANS THAT YOU WILL DIE WITHOUT ME! HERE, SIGN THIS CONTRACT! THAT MEANS THAT YOU HAVE TO CALL ME IF YOU FEEL LIKE HURTING YOURSELF. I have no idea who thought up contracts, but whoever it was has probably never been suicidal, because a bleeping contract doesn't mean bleep when you're hurting like bleep. YOU NEED ME, AND YOU WILL NEVER STOP NEEDING ME! THE EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY WAY THAT I AM ATTACHED TO YOU WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WORSE! YOU AND I WILL BE STUCK TOGETHER FOR LIIIIIFE..."

Physically sick: Sometimes, you gotta unplug from everyday life and just stay home. Seriously, if there's something that your coworkers could catch, they might not appreciate you being at work.

Soul-sick: Sometimes, especially if you're in the ministry, you gotta step down, take a step back, and just focus on working through your issues. Seriously, if your job is to help people, and your puked-up issues are spreading infection and pain to people all around you, please do yourself and them a favor and just go away for a while and let God heal you.

Physically sick: On the other hand, peeling yourself out of your sickbed and just living out everyday life can be very therapeutic while you're still sick and healing. At least, for me, it's usually helpful to get ready and drive to work while I'm still recuperating. Doing so helps me feel human.

Soul-sick: On the other hand, taking a break from your pain and just living out everyday life in God's Kingdom can be very therapeutic while you still need some healing. This doesn't help me all the time, but often it's a good idea for me to take my mind off the issue that's been frying my brain and just help somebody else for a while. Doing so helps me remember that my God cares about people, life goes on, and that everything -- at least eventually -- is going to be OK.

Physically sick: Not every treatment works for everybody, and not every person takes the same amount of time to heal. Generic DayQuil and NyQuil are usually the most effective medicines for my colds, but sometimes generic Sudafed and Tylenol will also work, and cough drops are awesome. (In college, I used to take one supersonic cold pill that was supposed to last for 24 hours. That was terrible. It would wear out early, and then I couldn't take anything else right away. I would lie awake at night and everything. I'm not sure they make that brand anymore. Why am I still writing about it? It made me miserable.) I've heard that some people will only have colds for a few days or one day. In my past, my colds would usually last for a week, and then I'd have a cough for a week or two. Perhaps mucus takes a while to work its way out of my system because of my Karen-Carpenter-ish pipes. Long ago... and oh, so far away...

Soul-sick: Not every treatment works for everybody, and not every person heals in the same amount of time as everybody else, and often God tends to work through layers or cycles or piles or departments or building-wings inside a person's heart. Some issues are worked through and done, and they won't bother me ever again. And other issues I thought I was done with, and then suddenly they turn up again, and what the bleep? And other issues are continually polished until God likes their shininess... and then He huffs His awesomely holy breath on them and polishes them again. Maybe some people will only need one counseling session or one church class or one prayer, and presto, they're healed and good to go. I, however, seem to take forever, and God seems to just grin at me and tell me that He's not in a hurry. Psalm 42 says that deep calls to deep. I tend to be deep. Yes, I need to focus on God instead of on my pain, but -- for example -- if I'm sitting down deep in thought and trying to figure out why I'm hurting so much, somebody grabbing my arm and yanking me up to my feet during the music at a church service isn't going to help me, and it isn't going to show me that that person cares about my pain. God cares about my pain. If something in my heart has been sick for 36 years, maybe God will presto-chango-rearrango and my heart is instantly healed, or maybe He'll be like, "Nah, people need to see how you respond to this situation. You need to write songs about this. I like to be around when you're hurting, and I like to be the One who makes it all better." Then He and I bond, and we start singing Carpenters songs to each other. Let Me be the One you run to... Then suddenly I become like my cat, and God shows me a Kleenex box and is like, "Can I hold your hand while you walk through this excruciating process?" "Sure." [Faithfully follows Him trottingly into the wilderness where nobody but Him will hear her wailing while He flushes out the infections.])

So, in my church group, we recently joked that when we were younger, the answer to every church question was "Jesus." It's kinda funny, but it's extremely true. How do we get saved? Jesus. Who do we turn to when we're hurting? Jesus. Who can heal us? Jesus. So, would it be bad if I went to the doctor and/or just kept taking medicine and letting my infection flush out? Nah, but ultimately Jesus is my Healer. So, would it be bad if I kept doing what I'm doing or if I seek out third-party help to work through my issues? Nah, but ultimately Jesus is my Healer. He's also the One who hangs out with me while I'm crying my eyes out into the Kleenex box and tells me that everything's going to be OK and that He'll stay with me for as long as it takes for my heart to get better. Then after it's all better, He'll still hang around, anyway. I like Him. He's mine. And I'm His.

You know what's better than generic DayQuil? Generic NyQuil. Dig it.