[Originally posted 3/5/09] I wrote a new blog entry earlier this week that had all sorts of cool stuff in it -- a movie reference, Bible verses, and even some nifty alliteration. But I didn't post it after all, because I wrote a bunch of stuff that I don't really agree with anymore. I think that's what happens sometimes when you get squeezed -- crap oozes out, and before you know it, it's like, "Ewww. I didn't know it was this gross." Plus, nothing's totally accurate in your brain, anyway, when you've got PMS.
I don't like the stuff that God's been squeezing out of me lately. Sometimes, people in your life can be merciless and downright selfish towards you when you try to be merciful and selfless towards them. If you try to reach out, they ignore you. If you give them an inch, they take a mile (or two). If you try to be nice to them, they dump all over you. (Psalm 35 describes a lot of how I felt one evening when I was turning into an oozing pile of snot and tears on my living-room carpet.)
But God says (in Galatians) that we shouldn't get weary of doing good. That can be hard to do. I mean, when you try to do the right thing, and people puke all over it, it feels natural to just close up and protect yourself from them. But I need to learn from Jesus and get strength from Him (Matthew 11:28-30) and let Him be the One to shield me. He teaches us to pray for those who use us and to love our enemies. This is hard! I need His help!!
So, I've been working through bitterness and resentment issues towards people who've been so hard to love. Another thing God has been teaching me is that there's a difference between loving somebody and letting them take advantage of you. Even God, who is love by His very nature, sometimes has to draw the line with people and let them lie in the bed they've made (metaphorically speaking, as the cliche goes). So, for the sake of my sanity, I'm gonna have to start drawing boundaries and showing people some tough love... which I've been learning how to do already for the past several years, but I think I'm gonna have to kick it up a notch.
Meanwhile, I've been a little sleep-deprived, which can really get nasty when combined with PMS. The changing weather has made my cats a little hyper at night, and they've been waking me up after I've barely dozed off. Maybe I should practice setting some boundaries with them. (Sorry, Fluffy, you just earned yourself a night on the couch.) Finally finding the feline boundaries might fare just fine with very... philosophical... filching of... fishing field trips. Darn it. Well, I thought I'd give the alliteration another try. :)
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