1) I think eating pizza at Christmas can be just as festive as turkey. All you'd have to do is change a few song lyrics of The Christmas Song: "Everybody knows / A pizza and some cinna-stix / Will help to make the season bright."
2) I wonder if anyone has ever been able to convince their kid that an airplane flying at night with its blinking red lights is really Rudolph and his colleagues.
3) Probably the only way that Santa would be able to deliver millions of toys in one night using a low-tech transportation device would be to clone himself.
4) I wonder if walking around with mistletoe tied to the top of my head would help me get a date.
5) Why isn't it traditional to drink egg nog all year 'round? That is some good stuff.
6) It's probably a good thing that Halloween comes before Christmas. By then, you're probably already used to groups of people knocking on your door or driving by your house to stare at it.
7) When did people start building snowmen? Did some farmers get the idea after their scarecrows got snowed over or something? And what about snowwomen? or snowcats? or snowdogs chasing snowsquirrels?
8) It's a good thing that God made evergreen trees. It would look kinda silly decorating the branches of a leafless tree for your living room.
9) I think the Carpenters probably get more radio airtime in December than at any other time of the year, because their Christmas music is so nice. But the radio-programming people need to understand that the Carpenters are nice to hear all year 'round. Bless the beasts and the children.
10) Any Scrooges out there should have the Dickens scared out of them anytime they diss Christmas.
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