City dump revisited

(The Father and Jesus are enjoying each other's company in the West section of Their city dump while the Holy Spirit labors skillfully in the East section. Suddenly, the accuser slithers up to the Owners of the dump.)

JESUS: (sighs and crosses His beautiful arms) What are you doing here again, loser?

FATHER: I haven't given you permission to come back. If you must speak, be quick.

JESUS: (fans His beautiful hand in front of His face) Whoo! And what is that awful stench?

FATHER: (chuckles) He stopped using his mouthwash.

ACCUSER: (growls in frustration) My mouthwash doesn't work on her anymore! I spend hours and hours gargling, but she just takes one whiff of my breath and knows that it's me! What have You done to her?

FATHER: (guffaws) First of all, she's Mine to do whatever I want with.

JESUS: Second of all, We've ruined her forever.

HOLY SPIRIT: (whispers in a sing-song voice) Yes, all the leaven has squeezed out, squeeze-squeezy-squeezed out, squirted and oo-zed and squeezy-squeezy-squeezed out...

JESUS: But that's none of your business, loser.

ACCUSER: (erupts) Yes, it is! I had a perfectly wonderful, beautifully destructive plan of attack, and now it's all shot because I can't find her in her usual places! She keeps breaking her routines! I have no idea where to find her anymore!

FATHER: (knits His beautiful, kind brow) And why are you complaining to Us about it?

JESUS: (laughs) You're just whining like a loser. (shrugs His beautifully strong shoulders) Probably 'cause you are one.

HOLY SPIRIT: (continues singing) Someday we will be... together, she and me... oh, wait a minute, that day is todaaaaay...

ACCUSER: (scoffs) What's He smoking, anyway?

JESUS: Love.

FATHER: You are wasting your time. I told you to be quick.

ACCUSER: How can I be quick when You will not allow me to be efficient??

JESUS: (groans) Complain, complain, complain.

FATHER: (to Jesus) He sounds desperate.

ACCUSER: (like a child who is exploding with a tantrum) None of these new structures that You're constructing will be completed!! There's too much garbage on Your land, and there's not enough support!!

FATHER: (slowly and patiently) And so... you have come here... to counsel Me?

HOLY SPIRIT: (enraptured and unabashedly singing) Why do cats slowly saunter by... every time... she treks by?

ACCUSER: (points into the air because he can't actually see the Holy Spirit) He is plagiarizing The Carpenters!

HOLY SPIRIT: (singing) Just like Me... they long to be... close to she...

ACCUSER: THAT ISN'T EVEN GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT!!

JESUS: (nods) Ah, so that's what's bothering the loser. We've deprogrammed her.

FATHER: (laughs loudly) If you honestly think that We would honestly come to your assistance...

HOLY SPIRIT: (singing) Did she sprinkle mouthwash in your hair? Or did she spit into an eye or twooooo?

JESUS: Sorry, loser, but you're on your own.

ACCUSER: (whines loudly) The Carpenters' songs aren't even worship songs! Why is He crooning like a lovesick teenager??

HOLY SPIRIT: (singing) Long before her hide was born, no angels got together... but We Three knew exactly what to dooooo...

FATHER: (whispers) What do you know about My music, loser?

HOLY SPIRIT: (singing) I... like it when she's... close to Me...

FATHER: (to Jesus) Would You like to tell him to go away, or should I?

ACCUSER: God!! I'm not done yet!! Your plans for her are going to fail! She doesn't belong with You or with anybody else! She isn't enough! She's too incapable of succeeding! You just watch me! I'm going to-- (gags)

FATHER: Speak up.

(The accuser attempts to speak, but his voice has been paralyzed, as if an invisible hand has suddenly begun to choke him to death. He points at the air, gurgles, and gags, but his words do not successfully form.)

FATHER: (to Jesus) Are You doing that?

JESUS: (shakes His beautiful head and smiles) No, as if You didn't know, but it's brilliant.

FATHER: I'll say. It's like a scene out of a Star Wars movie.

JESUS: (chuckles) Now who's plagiarizing, loser?

(The accuser becomes more angry and is about to point out how inappropriate it is for God to be anywhere around movies or music or any art form -- even though He created art itself -- but he wheezes and helplessly falls to the ground.)

HOLY SPIRIT: (still singing) And all she ever needed... was the Son...

(The accuser finally takes a deep breath, but instead of speaking, he screeches and scurries away.)

HOLY SPIRIT: (singing) Don't go breakin' My heart... she won't go breakin' My heart...

JESUS: Yeah, that's right, My city sings Elton John songs to Me.

FATHER: And he has a major problem with that.

HOLY SPIRIT: Because she sings straight from her heart, regardless of the song source.

JESUS: That accusation came from out of nowhere. I remember that kind of attack. Nasty indeed.

FATHER: (quietly) He knows We've been mining deeper and deeper into Our beautiful city.

JESUS: And We're finding some raunchy stuff.

FATHER: But You made a way for Us to be together forever, My Son.

JESUS: (grins) Yeah. I did.

HOLY SPIRIT: (begins to sing again) And it's going to take some time... this tiiiiime...

JESUS: (singing) And I have made amends. (speaks in a whisper) Permanently for her. Forever. It's finished.

FATHER: (singing) She'll learn how to bend.

(The Trinity continues to sing in harmony as the blood-river flows ferociously and begins to wash away ancient garbage that had been trapped deeply inside the city dump for decades. Over the roar of the river and the music, a purr emanates softly.)