Wednesday, June 26, 2013

More delayed reactions

4) For many years, I had a pastor who graduated from college with a business degree. He seemed very proud of the fact that he did not attend a seminary.

My reaction then: Our church is run like a business. Cool. I guess that's why we use big words like "facilitate" and expressions like "here's the deal" and "the bottom line." People with seminary degrees are way too stuffy and anti- Holy Spirit, anyway.

My reaction now: Tirzah, I think YOU'RE the one who was too stuffy to see that the Holy Spirit can move through whoever will let Him move, seminary degree or no seminary degree. I believe it was Keith Green who used to refer to "seminary" as "cemetery," and perhaps he's referring to the stuffiness that can been encountered too often with seminary graduates and religion professors. However, I've finally been learning that a person's heart is much more important than the type of formal schooling they've received, whether it came from a seminary or other institution. There are a variety of different ministry trainings available everywhere -- there probably always have been, and there probably always will be, from graduating with a seminary degree to following Jesus everywhere and casting your net into the water wherever He tells you to cast it. But the point seems to be to allow Him to mold a person's heart during the ministry preparation. For example, a person who enrolls in seminary on fire for God and ready to tackle whatever assignment He gives them but graduates from seminary more enamored with biblical languages than with people, and more stuffy with knowledge than heartbroken for people, probably flunked their training, no matter what type of grades they got.

Regarding the business-graduate church pastor, that probably should have been a huge, huge, huge, huge, huge red flag right away. Of course, there's nothing wrong with getting a business degree. But demanding that the people in your church give you results -- in the same way that a CEO would demand that their employees would give them profits -- is severely crossing the line. Evangelism is NOT like sales. A salesperson can manipulate, weasel, and deceive others into giving them the results they want (especially if they're working on commission). An evangelist should persuade but never force anyone to make a decision; otherwise, that would be considered abuse (especially if they carve a notch into their Bible every time they win a convert).

Tirzah, no wonder you've needed so much therapy from God your Counselor -- you've been treated like a machine, a number, a lab rat all your life. I mean, you're writing about yourself in the third person. Well, maybe that's because you're wrestling internally with the part of yourself that likes to hide behind humor. Who's hiding? You're about to post this into cyberspace for everyone to read. And now you're talking about yourself in the second person. So, who's the grammar genius now? Well, maybe you should move onto the next point before you really go off your rocker. What's the matter? Did you neglect to facilitate reaching your bottom line? Here's the deal: church isn't corporate America. Amen to that.

5) After I was released from a psychiatric hospital in 2000 and decided to drop out of missionary school, the head of the school told me to not tell my class the real reason why I wouldn't return to class. In other words, my natural instinct was to straight-up tell everybody, "Hey, I was hospitalized because I tried to commit suicide," but the head of the school talked to everybody himself, without me there, and said something diplomatic like, "Tirzah was hospitalized for depression; please pray for her."

My reaction then: I'm so stressed out and souped up on antidepressant to have any other thoughts beyond submission. Or my kitten. My life has been turned upside-down, and I'm not even allowed to live with my kitten for a while. (But they didn't say I couldn't drive 20 miles to go visit her every day.)

My reaction now: Head of school, why do you have a problem with honesty? Were you trying to cover something up? Were you worried about somebody like me giving your school a bad name? "Enroll in our program today, and you, too, can become certifiable." Are you ashamed of me and my story? God met me in my hospital room. I don't understand why you wouldn't let me share my testimony right away. After you've faced death -- with its slimy, fangy stench-breath fogging up your eyeballs -- you become braver than 50 million superheroes. Your program supposedly valued brokenness. How would me sharing my story with my classmates not have been a brave expression of brokenness? Thank you for allowing me to drop out of your school. If this is how you treat people who've walked through a slimy, fangy, stenchy fire, I don't want you to teach me how to do anything. (My kitten and I were later reunited permanently, and she grew up to be a faithful cat who napped and perched nearby while I typed this.)

6) One morning during a leadership meeting (and there were zillions of meetings), the pastor from #4 above asked if anyone had a testimony to share. After a moment of awkward silence from all of us in attendance at the insanely early morning meeting, the pastor appeared a bit flustered and said, "Nobody? OK, I guess God isn't moving in anybody's life."

I bravely stood up and shared a testimony with everybody. I mentioned that I went out to eat with a group of church friends, and we all laughed and had so much fun and so much joy. Our joy infected the other diners at the restaurant. What a wonderful experience we had, and what a wonderful witness our lives were! Another pastor criticized my testimony in front of everybody and suggested that it wasn't God who blessed the other diners. He said it was probably our personalities.

My reaction then: My mistake. How silly it was of me to validate the head pastor's childish display of insecurity. In the future, I should probably keep my mouth shut. I guess the only testimonies that count are the ones where people say salvation prayers.

My reaction now: Gosh, I can't do anything right for you people. You really are trying to run your church like corporate America; I haven't been able to do anything right for them, either. After the treatment I got from you, I go through a kind of culture shock anytime I'm treated with genuine love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control by somebody else. You might not be able to learn those things in a seminary classroom, because those things are fruits of the Spirit, which means that they take root and grow. Incidentally, what DID you learn when you weren't being trained at a seminary? Is that how God trained you to run a church -- like a business that holds periodic meetings where you air out your dirty laundry in front of everybody in a very un-Matthew-18 kind of way? Isn't "the bottom line" loving God with every fiber of your being? Wouldn't our personalities help "facilitate" that process? "Here's the deal": I think you flunked. But this situation happened many years ago. I hope you've changed since then.

I feel very appalled at how many years of my life I wasted investing in these spiritually abusive environments. But my feeling very appalled gives way very quickly to my feeling extremely thankful that God likes to take things that were meant for evil (perhaps unintentionally by the spiritual abusers and intentionally by the devil) and use them for good.

So, Tirzah, you had this whole Stockholm Syndrome thing going on with these nasty-core churches all those years? Is that why it took you forever to leave? I dunno. I think I mainly just stayed so long because I liked the people there and because I was finding God there, regardless of the abuse -- which, to be fair, I did not know WAS abuse in the first place. Well, you've had a doozy of a mess that's needed to get cleaned up. And now you're typing this with your faithful cat purring and snuggling directly between you and your computer. Pffffft. Who needs a business degree when you've got skillz?

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