Two posts ago, only one of my cats was comfortable on my new couch. Now
they're both mostly cool with it. In case anybody was wondering, one way to
acclimate your cat to a new couch is to turn it into a playground.
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in
glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)
Today, I'm ramblingly reminiscing, as usual. Lately, I've been thinking
about money -- not because I'm obsessed with it but because my church has been
doing a sermon series on it. No, my church isn't obsessed with it, either, honest.
I've been in churches that were obsessed with money -- both the "God is
going to make me a millionaire" prosperity-obsessed and the "if you
have a dime leftover at the end of the month, you'd better give it to a
missionary or else" poverty-obsessed. I think my church has a pretty
healthy grasp on how to handle money. I'm ramblingly reminiscing today because on
days like today when I casually waltz into the store, casually buy a few extra-grocery
items for $8 with my debit card, and casually drive home without worrying about
starving or going bankrupt, I remember a financially horrifying time in my
life.
About 10 years ago, I was in an extremely terrible financial situation.
I had a full-time job that barely paid any money at all, and everything I earned
went to the bills, which didn't even get paid completely. At each pay period,
all I had leftover was about $10 to buy 2 weeks' worth of food. Most of the
time, I ate 3 meals a day, but they weren't pretty meals. You'll be surprised
how far a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, a can of tuna, and a bag of tortillas
will stretch when you're desperately hungry. One day, a coworker kindly
remarked, "Ooh, Tirzah! You've been losing weight! Are you on a
diet?" I awkwardly mumbled, "Um, I actually, uh, don't have enough
money to buy food." To compensate and fill my belly during the day, I
drank office coffee, which was free.
The last straw was when I woke up one morning with chest pains. I drove
to the ER and discovered that I did NOT have a heart attack, good news. But I
did have inflammation of the chest wall from drinking too much caffeine and not
enough water (and probably from stress, too), bad news. So, poverty hit me
pretty hard, and not just in my bank account.
I didn't have any money in savings, and I didn't even have a credit
line to survive on. Back then, I had credit card debt that ballooned very
quickly because I had a late fee and an over-the-limit fee every month. I was also
doing something else majorly wrong financially: I wasn't tithing on a regular
basis.
Lots of pastors can explain the concept of the tithe a lot better than
I can. (Malachi 3 explains it even better.) But to me, it's the simple mystery
of God automatically owning 10% of my income and me automatically having to pay
it back to Him as soon as possible. After I pay Him, I get to keep and manage
the other 90%, which He balloons very quickly so that I can eat something more
substantial than eggs, bread, tuna, and tortillas.
I don't understand why tithing gets such a bad rap in the body of
Christ. A while back, I was talking to a friend and trying to convince her that
she needed to start tithing, but she said that she needed to get out of debt
first. Huh? I think if God tells me that I owe Him 10% every paycheck, I should
probably pay Him, right? Back during my egg/bread/tuna/tortilla days, I did NOT
pay Him all the time. I would pay the bills first. I think that was a HUGE part
of my problem right there.
Here is how I tithe today: God gets His 10% first, no matter how many
bills I have to pay. If I owe anyone else any other money, too bad, so sad,
you'll get paid next month. I need to pay my Rebuker of the devourer first. I
would much rather pay you a late fee than for God to spank me so hard that a
99-cent package of hot dogs will look like a five-star-restaurant meal.
So, today, I'm not completely out of debt. I haven't accumulated a
mountain of savings. I'm definitely NOT perfect when it comes to making financial
decisions. But I know who my Daddy is. I know that He takes impeccably good
care of me. I know that I owe Him 10% every paycheck. I remember the
egg/bread/tuna/tortilla horror movie. And I know that I'm ultra-dependent on
Him to make sure that I don't go back there. Every other Friday morning when I
wake up, I check my bank website to make sure that my paycheck made it in, and
then I hit up my church website to make sure that my Daddy gets paid. Then the
big bills get paid. Then the smaller bills get paid. Then my car eats gas. Then
I eat. (It doesn't happen necessarily in that exact order, but I'm just
painting a rough picture.) Then I usually have more than $10 leftover, and I
marvel at how awesome it is to have a Daddy who takes care of me in such an
infinitely detail-oriented way that I'm able to sit on my new couch and type up
my opinions on my new laptop in a very A/C-cooled apartment without worrying
about creditors calling and threatening me. No chest pains. And I'm still
hydrating. And I'm still learning. And I still have a lot to learn. And it's
not just with my finances.
God has shown me over and over again that this long season of my life
is like a big do-over. I'm learning stuff and going through stuff that I was
supposed to have learned and that I was supposed to have gone through years
ago. He's squeezing stuff out of me that should have gotten squeezed out years
ago, and it has such a rotten stench because it's been fermenting inside me for
too long. But He and I are working it out now. He'll always come through on His
end of the deal, but this is my chance to get my end of the deal right. I think
if I do it HIS way, it'll eventually all turn out OK. Duh.
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