Monday, July 1, 2013

Do-over

Two posts ago, only one of my cats was comfortable on my new couch. Now they're both mostly cool with it. In case anybody was wondering, one way to acclimate your cat to a new couch is to turn it into a playground.

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

Today, I'm ramblingly reminiscing, as usual. Lately, I've been thinking about money -- not because I'm obsessed with it but because my church has been doing a sermon series on it. No, my church isn't obsessed with it, either, honest. I've been in churches that were obsessed with money -- both the "God is going to make me a millionaire" prosperity-obsessed and the "if you have a dime leftover at the end of the month, you'd better give it to a missionary or else" poverty-obsessed. I think my church has a pretty healthy grasp on how to handle money. I'm ramblingly reminiscing today because on days like today when I casually waltz into the store, casually buy a few extra-grocery items for $8 with my debit card, and casually drive home without worrying about starving or going bankrupt, I remember a financially horrifying time in my life.

About 10 years ago, I was in an extremely terrible financial situation. I had a full-time job that barely paid any money at all, and everything I earned went to the bills, which didn't even get paid completely. At each pay period, all I had leftover was about $10 to buy 2 weeks' worth of food. Most of the time, I ate 3 meals a day, but they weren't pretty meals. You'll be surprised how far a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, a can of tuna, and a bag of tortillas will stretch when you're desperately hungry. One day, a coworker kindly remarked, "Ooh, Tirzah! You've been losing weight! Are you on a diet?" I awkwardly mumbled, "Um, I actually, uh, don't have enough money to buy food." To compensate and fill my belly during the day, I drank office coffee, which was free.

The last straw was when I woke up one morning with chest pains. I drove to the ER and discovered that I did NOT have a heart attack, good news. But I did have inflammation of the chest wall from drinking too much caffeine and not enough water (and probably from stress, too), bad news. So, poverty hit me pretty hard, and not just in my bank account.

I didn't have any money in savings, and I didn't even have a credit line to survive on. Back then, I had credit card debt that ballooned very quickly because I had a late fee and an over-the-limit fee every month. I was also doing something else majorly wrong financially: I wasn't tithing on a regular basis.

Lots of pastors can explain the concept of the tithe a lot better than I can. (Malachi 3 explains it even better.) But to me, it's the simple mystery of God automatically owning 10% of my income and me automatically having to pay it back to Him as soon as possible. After I pay Him, I get to keep and manage the other 90%, which He balloons very quickly so that I can eat something more substantial than eggs, bread, tuna, and tortillas.

I don't understand why tithing gets such a bad rap in the body of Christ. A while back, I was talking to a friend and trying to convince her that she needed to start tithing, but she said that she needed to get out of debt first. Huh? I think if God tells me that I owe Him 10% every paycheck, I should probably pay Him, right? Back during my egg/bread/tuna/tortilla days, I did NOT pay Him all the time. I would pay the bills first. I think that was a HUGE part of my problem right there.

Here is how I tithe today: God gets His 10% first, no matter how many bills I have to pay. If I owe anyone else any other money, too bad, so sad, you'll get paid next month. I need to pay my Rebuker of the devourer first. I would much rather pay you a late fee than for God to spank me so hard that a 99-cent package of hot dogs will look like a five-star-restaurant meal.

So, today, I'm not completely out of debt. I haven't accumulated a mountain of savings. I'm definitely NOT perfect when it comes to making financial decisions. But I know who my Daddy is. I know that He takes impeccably good care of me. I know that I owe Him 10% every paycheck. I remember the egg/bread/tuna/tortilla horror movie. And I know that I'm ultra-dependent on Him to make sure that I don't go back there. Every other Friday morning when I wake up, I check my bank website to make sure that my paycheck made it in, and then I hit up my church website to make sure that my Daddy gets paid. Then the big bills get paid. Then the smaller bills get paid. Then my car eats gas. Then I eat. (It doesn't happen necessarily in that exact order, but I'm just painting a rough picture.) Then I usually have more than $10 leftover, and I marvel at how awesome it is to have a Daddy who takes care of me in such an infinitely detail-oriented way that I'm able to sit on my new couch and type up my opinions on my new laptop in a very A/C-cooled apartment without worrying about creditors calling and threatening me. No chest pains. And I'm still hydrating. And I'm still learning. And I still have a lot to learn. And it's not just with my finances.

God has shown me over and over again that this long season of my life is like a big do-over. I'm learning stuff and going through stuff that I was supposed to have learned and that I was supposed to have gone through years ago. He's squeezing stuff out of me that should have gotten squeezed out years ago, and it has such a rotten stench because it's been fermenting inside me for too long. But He and I are working it out now. He'll always come through on His end of the deal, but this is my chance to get my end of the deal right. I think if I do it HIS way, it'll eventually all turn out OK. Duh.

Yep. One cat's scratching post is another cat's playground.

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