Yep, I just went there. Hopefully, what I'm going to talk about in this
post won't require any visual aids (or olfactory aids), so I won't include any
photos. You're welcome, I think. Yay for scratch-n-sniff websites NOT being
invented yet!
"So the Lord saved Israel that day out of the hand of the
Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians dead on the seashore. Thus Israel saw
the great work which the Lord had done in Egypt; so the people feared the Lord,
and believed the Lord and His servant Moses." (Exodus 14:30-31)
"But he said, 'No, lest while you gather up the tares you also
uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at
the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, "First gather together the
tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my
barn." ' " (Matthew 13:29-30)
I've blogged a lot about my experiences in spiritually abusive
environments, so you've gotten an earful (rather, an eyeful) of all the bad
stuff that the spiritual abusers fed me. Yet it wasn't all bad. They fed me
some good morsels, too. Here's one thing that a spiritually abusive pastor said
during a sermon that truly helped me: If God is doing something in your life,
just let Him do it.
For example, let's say you've determined that you're supposed to read
the Bible more. So, you sit down and write out a Bible-reading schedule. But
meanwhile, God has been trying to tell you that He just wants to have random
conversations with you. So, the entire time you're trying to read extra Bible
chapters, He loudly interrupts your Bible-reading and starts asking you about
your day and about what you're going to eat for dinner (as if He doesn't already
know). Yes, you absolutely need to read the Bible, but maybe your extra reading
agenda needs to go on the back burner while God develops more of a secret-place
friendship with you. Maybe developing this type of relationship with God would
come in handy later. (This almost-fictional example did happen to me many years
ago. What actually happened was that a friend had a "word from the
Lord" that I reap what I sow, and she kept hearing "the secret
place." God clarified this word to me later: I hadn't been sowing any time
in the secret place with Him, so I wasn't going to reap anything in the secret
place. So, for an entire week, I tried to have friendship conversations with
God, but I didn't hear anything back from Him, almost as if He lovingly gave me
the cold shoulder. It was a bummer of a week, but it was simultaneously a very
sweet conviction, and I remember it as a very gentle way of Him disciplining
me. And I learned my lesson the kinesthetically hard way.)
So, if God is trying to do something in your life, just cooperate with
Him and let Him do whatever He wants with you. I think Ecclesiastes 3 outlines
this pretty well. God tends to carve out certain "seasons" for
certain purposes. I don't think it's an accident that the word
"season" is used, because I can understand the ridiculous length of a
"season" (especially in Texas). In terms of weather and time of year,
each season has certain characteristics, and I know what I can realistically
expect. In the summertime, I know it's going to be hot pretty much nonstop.
Sure, there will be some days that will be cooler than others, and I may see
rain, but I know for sure that I will see blazing hot sunshine most of the
time, and I know for sure that I can expect triple digits probably for most
days of summer, which will be a very long season in Texas. (Actually, Texas
might not be a good example of how to describe a season, because summer here
usually eats up part of the preceding spring and most of the following autumn.)
In the wintertime, I know it's going to be cold most of the time. I may be able
to stay warm indoors on some days with just a fire in my fireplace, but I'll
more than likely need to turn my heater on several times a day, and I'll
definitely need to dress warmly. Sure, there will be some days when it may be
warm enough to wear shorts (especially in Texas), or it may even be cold enough
to sleet or snow, but I know for sure that I'll need to stock up on vitamin C
products to boost my immune system to protect myself from everybody else's sore
throats and colds, and I know for sure that I'll need an extra blanket at
night. (I've heard stories of people up North getting really tired of snow that
doesn't melt, and when April rolls around, the once-beautiful white snow is
dirty brown slush. Sigh. This Texas chick can only dream of such phenomena.)
I really think Ecclesiastes-3 seasons are similar. Verse 4 says there's
a time to mourn and a time to dance. During a mourning season, I know I'll need
to stock up on Kleenex and not schedule very many social outings, because I'll
need to spend a lot of time bawling into God's shoulder; pain will become like
a viral infection that will need to just run its course until it's gone; people will approach me at church with outstretched arms and be like, "Uh,
this may sound random, but God told me to give you a hug." During a
dancing season, I'll probably feel like a freshman at college again, where
everything is new, the air is fresh, and I'll be able to dream new dreams; God
will hang out with me spontaneously and romantically show me how He feels about
me by using The Great Gatsby as a
cool example; people from church will randomly encourage me. Verse 6 says there's
a time to keep and a time to throw away. During a keeping season, I'll need to
intentionally develop good habits that will last for a lifetime; during a
throwing-away season, I'll need to remember what I learned in the mourning
season while I buckle my seatbelt and let go of things that I never thought I'd
let go of. And I think sometimes some seasons can happen simultaneously, and
perhaps a few of them will run together like a huge casserole that God mixes
up, lovingly places in the oven, and then waits for it to bake into something
brand new.
But sometimes God's work seems more obvious. Sometimes what He's doing
isn't vague; it's already solidified, and it's right in front of your face.
Rather, it's a huge zit on your face.
I'm not a scientist, but from what I understand about dermatology, you
can't really tell that a zit is forming until it erupts. Everything is going
fine, and then suddenly you look in the mirror, and you see that everything is
NOT fine. Maybe it was that chocolate bar you ate. Maybe you ate too much fried
chicken this week, and it made your skin too oily. Maybe it's PMS. (Actually, as
a woman, that usually is the culprit for me. Aaah! The hormone alarm went off
on my face!) Suddenly, you know that there's a problem on your face because the
problem has SURFACED. Now you need to do something about it. (I usually just
apply an astringent because I've heard that popping a zit spreads the junk from
the zit to the surrounding pores. And popping makes my face feel weird
afterwards.)
I'm not a scientist, but from what I understand about digestion, you
really can't tell that your bowels need to be evacuated until they scream at
you that they're about to move. Perhaps if you're on a high-fiber diet, you can
predict your trips to the bathroom quite easily. But some bowel movements are
irregular. When you gotta poop, you gotta poop; there's no question about that.
The poop has announced its need to SURFACE and leave your body forever. Now you
need to do something about it. This is a necessary activity that forces you to
hit the pause button on your life and just let it all out. Kinda like a good
cry for your colon, eh? Sometimes I wonder why the heck I ate what I ate, because
now I'm having to deal with its effects. I like to eat grapefruit, but
apparently my intestines do not like to keep them.
I'm not a scientist, but from what I understand about body temperature,
sweating is one of the most yucky, slimy, disgusting, healthy things that a
person can do. Maybe if your body is comfortable in hot climates (Texas, my
Texas), you won't be able to tell right away that 85 degrees is too warm for
indoors or that 105 degrees is too sweltering for outdoors. But when you feel
the perspiration glistening on your forehead, as if you were a giant water
bottle, you know that you're in an environment that's become too hot for you.
When you feel moisture in your pits and other skinfolds, you become
self-conscious about wet clothing, and you know you need to seek cooler
shelter. When sweat trickles down your face or back, you know it's time to find
some beautiful Texas frozen A/C. This isn't a perfect analogy, because I've
heard that some people have sweat disorders that either prevent them from
sweating or that make them sweat excessively. But I think any of these
situations -- whether you sweat moderately, not at all, or drippingly -- makes
it suddenly clear to a person that an issue has SURFACED and must be addressed
immediately.
In case anyone was wondering, one cool thing about having a fun
friendship with God is randomly asking God, "Are there any Bible verses
about sweating?" when you happen to have Psalm 135 pulled up on your
computer, and then your eyes suddenly happen to see verse 7: "He causes
the vapors to ascend from the ends of the earth." And then you're like,
"That'll work. Thanks, Lord."
It was recently brought to my attention in Exodus 14 that the
Israelites weren't completely free from their oppressors until their oppressors
SURFACED in the desert. Then God evacuated them out of the Israelites' lives
forever. I'm sure it was an extremely horrifying scene when the Israelites
realized that their enemies that had set them free suddenly changed their
minds. I'm sure it was also extremely relieving for the Israelites to cross the
Red Sea on dry land and then look back and see God release the sea to flow
regularly again and flush away the Israelites' oppressors forever.
It was also recently brought to my attention in Matthew 13 that the
tares weren't disposed of until they grew up with the wheat. (From what I
understand, tares are weeds that you don't want growing in your wheat. The
wheat is the real fruit that you want to eat.) In the process, the landowner
didn't want to ruin the wheat while it was growing, so he waited until the
tares SURFACED completely to wipe them out. Sometimes you gotta wait until
something SURFACES properly before you can properly throw it away forever.
I'm about to use real-life examples because, well, maybe it's time for
me to just puke them out.
If God wants to squeeze codependence, enmeshment, and manipulation out
of you, don't call your cluelessly codependent friend Tirzah for 90 minutes
every Wednesday and Sunday night because you know she's incapable of rejecting
you. Allow your loneliness to SURFACE so that God can pop your soul-zit and
squeeze all that nasty pus out of you. You'll learn how to lean on God in a
fresh way in the process. You'll bond with Him as a Friend in the process.
You'll gradually get a clearer soul-complexion in the process.
If God wants to squeeze anger, pain, and fear out of you, don't plaster
on a Pharisee smile every Sunday morning and be cheerful with people whose guts
you hate. Don't confuse the little girl Tirzah who's growing up and learning
how to be a woman and who will develop social issues later while she's
struggling to allow hospitality and generosity to blossom in her life when
she's an adult. Don't pack down your emotions inside you so tightly that confused
little Tirzah only sees you expressing laughter or anger, to the point where
she doesn't know how to properly express emotions, either, because you didn't
model them for her. Don't gossip about the people you hate and ingrain
hypocrisy so deeply into Tirzah that she grows up choosing hypocritical,
gossiping friends who she'll have to let go of and grieve the loss of later
while she's learning, quite violently, how to properly express emotions. Allow
your anger to SURFACE in God's presence, where Psalms 4 and 62 say it's safe to
poop out, so that God can squeeze all that poop out of you. You'll be cleansed
and free from the threat of sepsis forever. You'll become a healthier person in
the process.
If God wants to squeeze emotional pain out of Tirzah, and she's sitting
down and trying to hear God help her through it, don't grab her arm and stand
her up to her feet and make her feel like she's supposed to be rejoicing. Don't
forget that you've actually read the Bible, like that part in James that says
if you're HAPPY to sing and if you're TROUBLED to pray. Tirzah was trying to be
alone with God and her pain because she was TROUBLED. Her pain was SURFACING.
Why did you try to stop the flow? She ended up hitting the pause button on this
process for about a dozen years. She was trying to become a healthy person.
Sorry she didn't hit all the main points of your agenda for her life. Perhaps
God had different plans for her than you did. Perhaps she would have been
content to have allowed Him to sweat out the issues inside her that were
causing her to overheat. Perhaps this is why she would breathe fire and scorch
people on occasion. Perhaps this is why she tended to roll around in the mud
like a pig, because they don't sweat, either. She's finally allowing God to
sweat out her issues, and they trickle down her face and across her back, and
they stain her clothes sometimes to the point of embarrassment. And Jesus
clothes her with His robes. And she looks good. And she bonded with Him while
she was sweating. And she's amazed at how He wasn't grossed out enough to
abandon her. He's keeping her forever.
1 Corinthians 6 says that (because I belong to Jesus) my body is a temple
of the Holy Spirit. Because I belong to Jesus, God accepts me, but He'll never
accept my sin or iniquity. If I have issues that He doesn't want in my life,
He'll be patient with me for as long as it takes me to work out the issues with
Him forever. But if I have a soul-zit, I'll need to let Him pop it, lance it,
drain it, clean it out, so that it won't contaminate the nearby pores; and it's
just unsightly. If I have soul-poop, I'll need to park my butt and let Him talk
to me about it while I poop it all out, because there's no way out of pooping,
unless I want to be perpetually constipated, or unless I want my system to back
up and give me a fatal case of sepsis; that would be tragic and disgusting. If
I feel like my soul is getting overheated and needs to sweat, I'll need to allow
myself to sweat so that my soul can cool off, and I'll need to find a cool
place to connect with God and let Him refresh my soul-glands, so to speak, and
cover me with His coolness, His cleanliness, His crispness.
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