What you got?

This post is rated R for really honest.

Lately during my quiet times, I've been reading my Bible out loud because doing so helps me concentrate, mainly because in recent years I've developed the attention span of a-- Hey, you know what I like? Raisinets. Aww, yeah.

Lately during my quiet times while I read my Bible out loud, my orange cat Macho has shown up next to me on my couch. Is he really into the Word? Maybe. Does he really like to hear his Mama talk? Perhaps. (Seriously, doesn't he look fine to you?) What I do know is that he and I have a special relationship. He is one of my furry roommates, and we've known each other for almost 15 years, so we're pretty tight. Sometimes I think maybe he forgets that he's a cat and I'm a human being, and he plays a little roughly with me. He'll start to bite or accidentally scratch me with his humongous claw. But he's just being himself.

My other furry roommate, whom I've known for almost 14 years, is my mixed-Siamese cat Choochie. She likes to help herself to my stuff. In this particular photo, she's trying to catch my camera strap in mid-air. She and I also have a special relationship. We're very close, sometimes too close. (Do you know anyone else who lets her cat perch less than an inch away from her cereal bowl while she eats breakfast in the mornings?) She's a very affectionate little purr-furball. She often licks my hand or arm, sort of in the way that a dog would lick you. But her tongue definitely doesn't feel smooth like a dog's. She's a cat, so sometimes she feels like she's exfoliating the back of my hand with her little brush-tongue. She's just using the affection-tools that she has, even though they can be painful for me. But she's just being herself.

"And David took the shields of gold that were on the servants of Hadadezer, and brought them to Jerusalem. Also from Tibhath and from Chun, cities of Hadadezer, David brought a large amount of bronze, with which Solomon made the bronze Sea, the pillars, and the articles of bronze." (1 Chronicles 18:7-8)

Lately during my quiet times while I've read my Bible out loud, I've let 1 Chronicles melt in my mouth. From what I understand about this book, it's a beautiful collection of genealogies, war chronicles, and the ordering of life after David became King in Israel. It's fascinating. It fills in a lot of details from previous books in the Bible. For example, did you know that Heman, the writer of Psalm 88 (which I consider to be the most depressing psalm in the entire Bible), had 14 sons and 3 daughters? How can somebody like that be lonely enough to write Psalm 88? Maybe his daddy didn't pay for his therapy like he was supposed to. I feel like making a joke about Castle Greyskull now. Hmm. Maybe it's that attention span kicking in again. Did you know that I'm currently typing this with a very large orange cat draped across my desk?

So, one day while I was reading 1 Chronicles 18, verses 7 and 8 jumped out at me. From what I understand, King David fought against Hadadezer, King of Zobah. David won, so he got to take some spoils of war. Part of these spoils was a lot of bronze that King Solomon later used to build the Temple. (1 Kings chapter 7 talks more about how this bronze was used.)

Wait. So, something that belonged to the enemy was later used as a tool for worshiping God? Yeah, that's right.

While this was sinking in, I thought about how rock music has gotten a really bad rap during the past several decades for being used in Christian music and in praise/worship music. Yes, from what I understand, rock music originally branched off rock and roll music, which was named after something that hormonal teenagers did in the backs of their cars while they were rebelling against their parents. So, naturally, religious hypocrites and pure-hearted churchgoers alike have shunned rock music throughout the years. I even heard that some churches had official bonfires just to burn Christian rock music. What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak? Or better yet, what will Tirzah do when she hears that you're a crazy freak? Eh, she'll probably just blog about you. Oy vey. See what kind of crazy places my newly tiny attention span will take me?

Indulge me for a moment. Use your imagination. Say a rock star is addicted to drugs, sex, and anything he can get his hands on to dull the pain that he feels deep inside. One day, Jesus comes along and announces Himself as the answer to this rock star's pain. (Which He is. Which He always will be.) Say the rock star accepts Jesus and lets Him do whatever He wants in his life. The rock star suddenly becomes a new creation. And yet, he is still himself. Would you honestly expect the rock star to completely give up his rock music? Well, if Jesus asked him to, he probably would. But why should the rock star suddenly not be himself?

I would say the natural response of the rock star would be to use what he has and what he knows to worship his King. I would say the sound of his shredding guitar in genuine praise to God would sound beautiful and smell aromatic to his King. I would say that 1 Chronicles 18:7-8 would support this.

Perhaps rock music started out in a very rebellious, very non-Christian, very terrible way. But it's still music. It can still be used in a different way. I don't think there's anything wrong with melting it down and reshaping it into a way to worship God... perhaps in a similar way that King Solomon's artisans reused their enemies' former articles of bronze for articles of worship to God.

This is just my opinion, and I'm probably not saying anything new. I'm probably just now finding my own biblical support for an issue that was already resolved about 40 or 50 years ago. But you need to remember who is currently typing this blog post with a mixed-Siamese cat lapping water from a porcelain bowl in the background.

I was definitely a Pharisee, definitely a hypocrite, definitely one of the squarest chicks you'd ever have the displeasure of meeting. When I was a teenager, I didn't listen to very much rock music at all until I was 16 or 17. Until then, I mostly listened to classical music, oldies, and the Carpenters. (The guitar solo in "Goodbye to Love" was as edgy as I would ever get, and even then I wasn't all that comfortable with it.) There's definitely nothing wrong with listening to all that easy-listening stuff, much of which I still have in my eclectic collection. My point is that I was very narrow-minded when it came to music, and I was extremely narrow-minded when it came to worshiping God.

Then I went off to college and got baptized in the Holy Spirit, and everything changed. Sometime after that, I went to a Newsboys concert (they opened for Steven Curtis Chapman), and I've never been the same again musically.

In my lifelong quest for honesty, God has been teaching me that He just wants me to bring Him what I have. For example, I don't remember His exact words, but while I was working through my prayer issues with Him, He was like, "You can pray as long as you want or as short as you want, just as long as it's genuine."

A day or two ago, I was about to start my quiet time and was perfectly ready to play a regular praise/worship song on my guitar, but God requested that I play only Queen songs. My Father wants to hear Queen? No problem. He heard "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "In the lap of the gods... revisited" with modified lyrics. I hope He enjoyed the spoils of war just as much as I did.

During today's quiet time, I played God regular praise/worship songs on my guitar, but I ended my singing with an honest question: "Why do I feel so bitchy?" Well, He and I had to work some stuff out.

A couple of nights ago at church, we had a majorly powerful extended worship service. Many of us were on our knees. One of the worship leaders began to sing spontaneously, and he invited us to sing spontaneously to Jesus. People around me were singing new, beautiful melodies. I decided to sing what I was honestly feeling at the time: "I'm so distracted." If I remember correctly, I think I heard God snicker.

My point isn't that we should all think up new ways of being irreverent toward or rebellious against God. My point is that it's extremely important to be honest with God. I think He just wants whatever we have.

I don't have children, but of course I have cats. Sometimes when Macho's humongous claws have become razor-sharp and he decides to be affectionate, I end up with a rip in my sock and/or a tiny bit of broken skin. What's he got? He's got a cat's claw, so that's what he uses to love on me. Sometimes when Choochie gets way too close to me at night and tries to convince me that she should snuggle on my pillow, I end up with an exfoliated arm. What's she got? She's got a cat's fur-brushing tongue, so that's what she uses to love on me.

Sometimes my soul feels lighter than a feather dancing through the air, and I enter into my God's gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise. What do I got? I've got joy, so that's what I use to love on Him. Sometimes my soul is nastier than a severely clogged drain, and I need God to scrape me off the floor before I can walk anywhere. What do I got? I've got tears, so that's what I use to love on Him and ask Him for help while He picks me up and lets me cry on His shoulder. I've heard that fathers like to do that sometimes. Since God is my Father, He's definitely the Expert in this particular area.

This blog post was brought to you by... Hadadezer, King of Zobah. Thanks for the bronze. And by... honesty. Don't love your soul without it. And by... Tirzah's extremely small attention spa-- You know what I feel like for supper? Burger and fries. Aww, yeah.