I might be a bit
redundant in this post. That is, I might repeat stuff I've already said before.
That is, I might talk about things that I've already mentioned in previous
posts. That is... Sorry. Am I boring you?
"Trust in the Lord
and do good. Dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness." (Psalm 37:3
typed out from memory, hopefully accurately, from the NKJV)
I think there are
multiple ways that a person can apply Psalm 37:3 to his or her life, depending
on what kind of life he or she lives. For instance...
1) If you're a sheep
that lives in a pasture, especially if all you have to do all day is eat the
grass that grows in the pasture, eat it, man, and enjoy it, and know that the
Shepherd who planted the grass there will continue to help it grow, and know
that He's going to continue to keep planting more grass there for you to eat,
and know that He's going to keep taking care of the pasture, and know that He's
going to keep taking care of you, because you're His sheep. Just chill, keep
showing up, and keep enjoying.
2) If you're a celebrity
who's constantly dodging the paparazzi, don't do anything stupid. Just keep
showing up and doing your celebrity thang, even if it means disguising yourself
to go to the grocery store. Sure, maybe your pictures will be strewn all over
the internet or magazine stands, just because of who you are, but what's wrong
with that? Keep trusting that your Shepherd put you in an important pasture
where billions of eyes are on you, keep enjoying the process, keep smiling if
you see cameras in your face, and keep doing good things. Just chill, keep
being yourself, and keep enjoying.
3) If you're a regular
chick who dwells on a regular street in a regular neighborhood and works a
regular job and goes to a regular church and has a regular 401K and doesn't
really feel all that special, but you don't really mind living a regular life,
ain't nothin' wrong with that. Just keep hanging out in the regular pasture
that your Shepherd designed for you, keep chowing down on the regular,
metaphorical grass that He keeps tending for you, and enjoy the fact that
there's regular grass there all the time and that someday you'll exchange your
regular earthly life for a regular heavenly life that will blow your regular
mind. Just chill, keep digging your regularness, and keep enjoying.
Maybe all of the above
doesn't seem all that exciting to you, but in context, Psalm 37:3 comes right
before Psalm 37:4, that famous verse that says to delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Maybe the desire of my
heart is just the peaceful pasture that Psalm 37:3 talks about. Maybe a chick
like me just needs some peace. Maybe a chick like me just needs a boring
pasture of grass to munch on like a good little sheep. Maybe a chick like me
thinks boredom is beautiful. Maybe if you knew the life I used to live, you'd
understand why God's faithfulness -- the pasture that He builds for His sheep
to feast upon, the day-to-day monotony that only demands a warm body, the
boring-looking yet oh-so-nutritious grass -- is beautiful.
Maybe boredom is
something that God doesn't mind. Maybe our finite-human concept of boredom is
infinitely different than His. Maybe boredom is even His goal, at least for a
life-season.
"But concerning
brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves
are taught by God to love one another; and indeed you do so toward all the
brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, that you increase
more and more; that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own
business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may
walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack
nothing." (1 Thessalonians 4:9-12)
I can barely begin to
tell you how liberating it is to know that minding my own business is in the
Bible. My gosh, that's some freedom right there. I'm kinda bummed that I didn't
discover it there until I got to college.
I mean, who needs drama?
If a green pasture full of grass is all that I have in front of me to consume,
then that's what I have to sink my teeth into. There's no need for me to leave
my safe pasture and nose around in another sheep's pasture. What if I'm
allergic to their grass? What if they have a problem with me eating their
grass? What if I end up starting a sheep-fight? What if a nearby wolf decides
to do some lamb-napping while we're wasting our time fighting? What if I don't
know how to handle my own boredom, and I end up rolling and smoking my
sheep-neighbor's grass, and the sheep-police come and haul me away to
sheep-jail? What if my Shepherd's feelings get hurt if I decide that my very
own pasture that He grew for me isn't worth my time?
Dang, my imagination
went all over the place in the last paragraph. See? Sometimes creative juices
just need a little peace and quiet.
Speaking of peace and
quiet, God spoke the deepest stuff of the day right before I began my quiet
time. I don't remember His exact words, but my brain was thinking about the
stuff that I'm organizing in my apartment, and I was thinking about the crazy
time I had packing before I moved here a year and a half ago. God showed me that discarding
my unwanted items and shredding my old documents was more important than
packing them up. Sorting through my junk (so that I could get rid of it before
the move) was important. God was basically
like, "Even if you had all those powers that wizards have in movies, and
you could snap your fingers and instantly pack everything into boxes, you'd
still miss out on all the sorting. When you sort through things, you find out
what's there."
Dang, He's deep.
Yes, the God of the
universe is really into order. It's boring, and it's beautiful. For instance,
while I was shredding old letters...
1) I found one letter dated
1995 from an old friend. This friend wrote, "So, Selena died. Too bad. Oh,
well." Um... WHAT?! The envelope, please. And the award for the most
insensitive comment about a deceased artist goes to...
2) I'm related to some
very nice people, but they definitely aren't perfect, and the way that I
interacted with them helps me understand my issues a little bit better. For example,
in the past, I had a bad habit of interrupting people while they were in the
middle of telling me their stories. They would say something, and I would
insert myself with "Oh, that reminds me of my life. Blah, blah,
blah..." This type of conversation technique doesn't always build
intimacy. (I think my therapist could back me up on that.) I found one
relative's letters that had this fairly consistent pattern of "Thanks for
your letter. Your life reminds me of my life when I was a girl. Blah, blah,
blah..." As I read through this correspondence again, I was like, Ah.
That's where I got it from.
3) From time to time, people
give me grief for permanently detaching myself from my family, as if they were
infallible creatures who deserved to be worshiped on a pedestal. But certain
members of my "family" didn't even know how to spell my name
correctly. It's T-I-R-Z-A-H. I completely understand how difficult it can be to
learn how to spell it, honest. But if you're related to me? If you've known me
for a couple of decades? My gosh. Would it kill you to memorize the order of a
few letters? Family is supposed to at least know how to spell my name. (Too bad
I just graduated from therapy. I think I just found some more stuff to haul
into my sessions.) You know who else doesn't know how to spell my name?
Strangers.
So, in my current
infatuation with order, boredom, and minding my own business, I'm discovering
the beauty of sorting. I think I just heard my soul sigh like a lovesick teenager.
I feel like talking
about my cat now, but I think I might save my thoughts for my next post. Are
you as excited as I am?!
So, if I'm a sheep who
lives in a grass-populated pasture, all I really need to do is live here, feed
on my Shepherd's faithfulness, trust Him, and do good. Will I see fireworks?
Maybe. Will I get indigestion? Probably not; that is, not if I eat only the
stuff my Shepherd grows for me, and if I eat only the amount I'm supposed to
eat. Will I be bored out of my sheep-skull? Gosh, I sure hope so!
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