The practice room

I recently bought this CD at Goodwill for $2. Wow, these Beethoven Sonatas bring back memories. Did you know that the Presto agitato movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata was used in the Smurfs cartoon from the 1980s? And did you also know that Billy Joel used the Adagio cantabile movement of Beethoven's Pathétique Sonata for the chorus of his song "This Night" from his 1983 album An Innocent Man? Well, the fact that classical music integrates very nicely into pop culture isn't the only thing that brings back memories.

When I was in college, I took seven semesters of private piano lessons. Simply walking down the hallways of the music buildings was always a wonderful experience for me. I would hear students and teachers playing classical piano pieces during their private lessons. I would hear piano-performance majors practicing their elaborate pieces in the practice rooms. Sometimes I would practice Mendelssohn, Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms, but I also practiced a lot of Scott Joplin and Yanni songs. (I wasn't a music major, so my instructors let me choose most of my songs.) Eh, maybe I stuck out a little bit in the music buildings, but so what? I was in a musical wonderland, and I hope I absorbed some good stuff. Even after I would finish practicing, my mind would still meditate in relaxed wonderment on the music.

Music is a type of art, so it can be a physical expression of very abstract concepts, and it is often created spontaneously. And yet, music is also a discipline in which practice is extremely important. (I don't think a good artist would want to be sloppy with his or her brushstrokes.) My piano instructors were always very gracious with me, but I remember during at least one lesson, my instructor asked me if I had practiced. Um... no, not really. She could tell that I had neglected my practicing. (Sloppy brushstrokes.) You can't just show up at an event that you're supposed to be prepared for and wing it.

When you practice, you can answer your own questions. You wonder how a certain part of the piece goes, and then you break it apart, play it slowly, and figure it out. You're kinda supposed to make mistakes when you practice. You iron out the wrinkled spots. After a while, you can hear the chords, and you understand why certain notes were chosen, and you realize that the composer was a genius. The piece you're preparing comes together for you, and hearing it click in your brain for the first time is a fantastic rush. "Oh, now I get it!" Then your fingers get stronger, and you close your eyes and hear the mysterious sounds that your instrument is creating, and you play it so often that you memorize it, and then you can show off what you've learned when you go home for the holidays. When you practice something, in a way, it becomes a part of you. You can put it on hold for a while, and then when you come back to it later, you still remember the tune. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder if perhaps you were born to play that song.

Music isn't the only realm in which practice is important. I think God knows that.

"So it was, as soon as he came near the camp, that he saw the calf and the dancing. So Moses' anger became hot, and he cast the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain. Then he took the calf which they had made, burned it in the fire, and ground it to powder; and he scattered it on the water and made the children of Israel drink it." (Exodus 32:19-20)

"And Moses said: 'By this you shall know that the Lord has sent me to do all these works, for I have not done them of my own will. If these men die naturally like all men, or if they are visited by the common fate of all men, then the Lord has not sent me. But if the Lord creates a new thing, and the earth opens its mouth and swallows them up with all that belongs to them, and they go down alive into the pit, then you will understand that these men have rejected the Lord.' Now it came to pass, as he finished speaking all these words, that the ground split apart under them, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up, with their households and all the men with Korah, with all their goods. So they and all those with them went down alive into the pit; the earth closed over them, and they perished from among the assembly." (Numbers 16:28-33)

"And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: 'Speak to the children of Israel, and get from them a rod from each father's house, all their leaders according to their fathers' houses -- twelve rods. Write each man's name on his rod. And you shall write Aaron's name on the rod of Levi. For there shall be one rod for the head of each father's house. Then you shall place them in the tabernacle of meeting before the Testimony, where I meet with you. And it shall be that the rod of the man whom I choose will blossom; thus I will rid Myself of the complaints of the children of Israel, which they make against you.' ... Now it came to pass on the next day that Moses went into the tabernacle of witness, and behold the rod of Aaron, of the house of Levi, had sprouted and put forth buds, had produced blossoms and yielded ripe almonds." (Numbers 17:1-5, 8)

"Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 'Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals.' ... Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank. Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, 'Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.' " (Numbers 20:7-8, 11-12)

"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, 'If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.' But He answered and said, 'It is written, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." ' " (Matthew 4:1-4)

I think in a way, the wilderness in the Bible was a place for people to practice. The wilderness was a place to practice loving God, obeying God, and following God. The wilderness was a place to practice enduring temptation, staying humble, and submitting to God's authority.

Not that Jesus was flawed and needed to practice (because He is the most unflawed, most capable, most perfect Person in the universe). But maybe enduring the Pharisees' accusations was nothing compared to combatting the devil's lies on an empty stomach.

Perhaps in their wilderness, the Israelites (at least, the ones who weren't zapped off the face of the earth) learned some extremely important lessons, too. Ah, so God isn't cool with us worshiping a golden calf instead of Him. Got it. Ah, so Moses and Aaron really are God's chosen leaders for us. Understood. Ah, so even Moses will be disciplined for disobeying God's instructions. So... all of us need to obey God, because He's more powerful than we are, and He's in charge. Oh, now I get it!

While the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt, they were miserable. (Except for getting to eat all that really yummy Egyptian food, that is.) I'm guessing their slavedrivers didn't get to see God's people walking in love, peace, and joy because, well... they were miserable slaves who were crying out to God in their agony. But after Pharaoh let God's people go, the Egyptians didn't get to see the Israelites undergo transformation.

As other church leaders have taught us, the wilderness was a relatively private place for God to bring His people out into the middle of nowhere and teach them how to worship Him, how to love Him, how to belong to Him. I guess it was sort of like a honeymoon. After the official "I now pronounce you husband and wife" ceremony, the couple goes away privately where, well, they learn how to become one. Yes, they're married, and they're in love, but perhaps they'll have their first fight during their honeymoon. Perhaps there will be some confusion with the hotel accommodations or the restaurant reservations, and all sorts of shenanigans will occur. Perhaps their rental car will run out of gas and they'll need to hitchhike home. Perhaps all sorts of crazy things will happen with their circumstances, but the bride and her groom will get to know each other in a way that they've never known each other before. The honeymoon trials could make or break their entire marriage. (I've never been married, so I'm using my imagination.) And nobody gets to see what happens between the bride and her groom unless they write a biography or a sitcom about their honeymoon. This honeymoon, this "wilderness," so to speak, is a place to work this type of stuff out privately.

I think this happens with anyone who has a "wilderness" experience with God. (Especially if you're in the wilderness for a particularly long time... or especially if you're enduring several wildernesses all at once.) Ah, so if I cry out to God and beg Him to help me with something, He will. Got it. Ah, so if I disobey Him, He could discipline me. Understood. Ah, so if I pay my tithe, even when I don't know how I'm going to pay my bills, He'll rebuke the devourer. So... not only will He keep the devil away from my bank account, but He'll also prevent the devil from devouring my peace and my joy, because God is serious about opening the windows of heaven and pouring down a really huge, incomprehensible blessing on me, and He's more powerful than I am, and He's in charge, and He's serious about me not robbing Him. Oh, now I get it!

Ah, so God really does care about my life more than I do. Got it. Ah, so God really does have good plans for my life, and He really does plan to prosper me and not harm me, and He really does plan to give me a future and a hope. Understood. Ah, so He really does want me to talk to Him and not just ask Him for stuff. So... He really did choose me, He really does want me, He really does love me, He really does cherish me, and He really does want to have a relationship with me, because He's my Father, He's my Friend, He's the Lover of my soul, He's my Counselor, He's my Helper, and He's my Savior. There isn't anyone else above Him. He's it for me. And He's mine, all mine. And I'm 100% completely His forever. Oh, now I get it!

I think the wilderness is like a giant practice room where you get to learn how to play your song, and you get to learn how to play it right. It's a private place where people may walk past your room and hear you make some mistakes, they may hear you discover new things, or they may hear you make the most beautiful music you've ever made in your life. Later on, during the actual jury, recital, or performance, even more people can hear you play the song that you've been practicing so hard to play. They may not hear all the mistakes you made in your practice room, they may not see all the tears you shed when you got really frustrated with your song and wondered if you were ever going to learn it, and they may not understand how many hours you sacrificed, how many aches and calluses your fingers and your joints endured while you were practicing. But they'll get to enjoy the finished product, and you'll get to enjoy the immense satisfaction of being yourself.

People may not see or hear all the heartache that you privately endured in the wilderness. They may not understand all those times when the buzzards circled around you and waited for you to die, all those times when you wondered if you really were a goner, or all those times when you wondered if you really mattered while you were out there in the wilderness all alone with a new Husband who you thought maybe wanted to kill you. And they probably won't know about all those intimate times that you shared with your Bridegroom, when you two bonded together in a new way, when you finally began to understand how much He really cared about you. But they'll get to see the finished product, and hopefully they'll be blessed by it, and even more hopefully they'll glorify Him for it.

Dreams can die in the practice room. But dreams are also born there. Dreams are fed, nurtured, and cared for there. Dreams grow wings there, are strengthened there, and become beautiful there. Dreams begin to fly there.

(Roll over, Beethoven. Dig these rhythm and blues.)