Just when I thought I had overwritten about spiritual abuse,
I embrace yet another metaphor/simile/allegory. The disclaimer to this post, of
course, is that I'm not an ordained minister or a licensed therapist/counselor/professional.
I'm just a chick who likes to talk about her life. And, in case you haven't
noticed already, I'm a very melodramatic person. Well, like Father, like
daughter, right? Oh, no! All of humanity
is destined for eternal damnation and separation from Me forever! What will I
do? Ah... I can send My only Son. That is the only Way to reconcile all of
humanity back to Myself... [angels sing epic soundtrack]
So, regarding spiritual abuse, I realize that my story isn't
exactly like everybody's. But it's my story. And I think it's a lot like The Truman Show. Do you remember that
movie? It's a 1998 film starring Jim Carrey. It's a classic.
In the movie, The
Truman Show is basically a huge unauthorized reality TV show. Unbeknownst
to Truman, his entire life is lived in a seemingly ordinary town called
Seahaven, which is actually a huge TV set with hidden cameras and actors
everywhere. Truman was put in front of a TV camera immediately after he was
born, he was raised by actors, he married an actor, and his friends and
acquaintances are actors. The actors all pretend to live life with him. So,
basically, his entire life is a fake. But Truman doesn't know it.
He doesn't know about all the hidden cameras. He doesn't know
that almost everything he says and does is broadcast internationally. He
doesn't know that everyone around him is an actor with an earpiece that
transmits specific instructions from directors, producers, etc. He doesn't know
about all the product placement that surrounds him or about how he could be
part of a commercial at any given moment. He doesn't know that he has fans
around the world who watch his every move, because he thinks he's living in a
real, authentic place.
Unfortunately for the directors, producers, sponsors, fans,
etc., Truman has a very adventurous personality. When he was a child, it was
only natural for him to want to become an explorer when he grew up or to go
sailing or to want to see the world. But he couldn't do that, because,
well, leaving Seahaven, the TV set, of course wasn't an option. So, how did the
directors, producers, etc., keep him on Seahaven? With extreme manipulation,
fear tactics, and lies, of course.
When Truman was a boy, he told his teacher that he wanted to
become an explorer. The teacher was like, "Oh, you're too late. Everything
in the world has already been discovered." When he went sailing with his
father, the directors, producers, etc., created a storm that killed off his
father (who was actually an actor who was whisked away safely). This manipulated
memory kept him afraid of the water so that he wouldn't try to leave Seahaven.
Anytime Truman wants to leave Seahaven, the producers and actors on the set
fabricate something that keeps him from bravely leaving his popular prison. The
anti-airplane propaganda placed throughout Seahaven is pretty darn hilarious.
So, Truman is perpetually trapped on Seahaven.
Everything in Truman's life is controlled, to the point of
breaching all kinds of ethics. While he's in school, he meets an actress named
Sylvia (her name on the show is Lauren) and falls in love with her, but he's
not allowed to fall in love with her, because the directors and producers plan
for him to marry Meryl instead. So, as soon as he sneaks in a few forbidden
moments with Sylvia, an actor posing as her father whisks her off the set
forever, and he tells Truman that they're moving to Fiji. So, adventurous
Truman spends the rest of the movie missing Sylvia and dreaming about finding
her in Fiji. Unbeknownst to Truman, the actor Sylvia is very involved in an
anti-Truman Show movement that is
very aware of Truman's unethical treatment.
So, Truman gradually discovers that his life is a TV show,
and he finally attempts to escape. The creator of the show, Christof, does
everything he can think of to prevent Truman from escaping Seahaven. Christof
creates a majorly dangerous storm while Truman is trying to sail away,
reasoning that if Truman was born on TV, he can die on TV. Then when Truman finds
the end of the set and opens the Exit door, Christof talks to him and tries to
convince him to stay because his show brings inspiration to millions. But
Truman courageously walks off, anyway. Ironically, the fans who were glued to
their sets during the entire movie are very excited that Truman escapes
Seahaven, thereby ending The Truman Show
forever.
Like I said, the movie is definitely a classic, and it's much
deeper than most of Jim Carrey's other films. I think I even read somewhere
that Christof is supposed to represent Christ, and I think I heard somewhere
that the way he talks to Truman near the end of the movie is similar to the way
that God talks to us, and I think I wrote about the movie on a Facebook status
update once upon a time. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that
Christof isn't like Christ at all. In my opinion, Christof is more like the
devil, or maybe just a really big principality, and his directors and producers
are like the other powers and demons that keep Truman in bondage.
I'll take that a step further. I think being the star of The Truman Show is eerily similar to
growing up in a spiritually abusive environment. At least, that's just my
story.
I grew up in a fish bowl where my every action was
scrutinized and I had to sneak around to get any real excitement. I was told
what I wanted, so I didn't know how to use my will. I was surrounded by people
who didn't seem to care that they were stealing my limelight for their own spontaneous
commercials. (I still can't believe Israel ate Christmas one year.) No, I don't
deserve any limelight, but a conversation shouldn't begin with,
"Such-and-such is happening in my life," instantly transform from a
conversation into a monologue with, "Oh, that reminds me of something that
happened to me in 1968," and end 20 minutes later. "Mama, Brother
So-and-so is touching me without my permission." "Don't tell your
father; he has a big mouth."
I was constantly fed fear-propaganda to keep me from escaping
my environment. "Hey, I just got a prayer language! The Holy Spirit is
awesome!" "Tirzah, that's all emotionalism and self-hypnosis. Here,
read this book and listen to these tapes, and make sure to lock the van door so
that you'll be trapped while I'm driving and deprogramming you." "Hey,
guess what! I think God wants me to be a missionary!" "Oh, well, just
make sure you abandon your post at the church piano so that you can officially
declare your calling in front of everyone, and don't forget to go to seminary,
because I believe in the cooperative program, you mere female. Do you feel
called to be a single missionary or a married missionary?" "Uh, a
married one." "Ah. Well, I happen to know a boy your age who happens
to be in town who I happen to want you to meet, and you will happen to not see
him in any future episodes ever again." "Mama, I'm in a psychiatric
hospital because I tried to commit suicide." "I think God wants me to
write you a 7-page letter to explain to you how I met your father and how your
existence made our lives complete."
But while I was inside my spiritually abusive environment, I
met a Man. Unfortunately, this Man wasn't always allowed to remain inside the
spiritually abusive environment. He was often whisked away by the actors as soon as He would appear. But I'm not sure
these people counted on me falling in love with Him. You see, this Man, named
Jesus, is the Son of Man, the most perfect Man who has ever lived and who will
ever live. When the people weren't looking, I obsessed over this Man. I
remembered what He felt like, looked like, and sounded like, and I did
everything I knew to do to look for Him and find Him again, even though my
attempts were often interrupted or intercepted. But I don't think the people
counted on me knowing this Man as my First Love. Nothing can come between me
and my First Love. The principalities, powers, and rulers of darkness can't
even separate me from His love. So, I kept looking for Him until I found Him.
And keep looking for Him I shall.
I think the enemy threw his worst stuff at me while I was in
the process of leaving my environment and, especially, right after I left it.
"Sorry, but I've decided to let you reap what you've sown."
"We're so sorry for whatever it was we did to you. We love you."
"Um, actually, God told me to leave." "Honor thy father and
mother. You bring shame and disgrace."
Do you hear her cries?
She heard Me, she obeyed Me, and she's following Me. And she's Mine. I Myself
claim her as My daughter. Look how beautiful her royal robes look on her. I
designed them for her. But she has a tendency to trip over robes and fall flat
on her face. She needs guidance now. I will take her to My own bosom and train
her up Myself. I Myself will show her how to walk, where to step, and how to
clasp onto My hand so that she won't fall. She is a daughter of the King. She
wants people to see Me when they look at her. I will lead her in paths of
righteousness for My name's sake.
And the winds of the storm blew fiercely and furiously while frostbite latched onto my ears and threatened to destroy communication forever. I fell into the raging waters and
nearly drowned. But after I finally opened the Exit door, I turned with a smile, faced
my audience, and took a bow.
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