The highway bully

In this post, I'm going to write about tailgaters. I'm going to meditatively ramble.

I'm posting a picture of my cat because I don't have any pictures of tailgaters. But I have plenty of pictures of Macho. Perhaps you can't tell from this photo, but he is definitely a bully. (He looks adorable with his halo, doesn't he?)

He's twice as big as Choochie, and he has a very bad habit of crowding her, shoving her, stalking her, pouncing on her, and, well... he's an animal. Choochie can definitely hold her own, but Macho is a bully nevertheless. Honestly, whenever I catch her beating the crap out of him (e.g., trying to bite his foot), I won't always stop her, because I can relate to her, and, well... she's an animal.

As I mentioned before, this post is about tailgaters. Reader, if you have a habit of tailgating people while you drive -- especially on highways -- I don't mean to hurt your feelings or wrongfully accuse you of being a bad driver. Please understand that I'm writing from the perspective of somebody who's regularly had the crap scared out of her while she's failing to speed in the fast lane. I just recently noticed a stunning similarity between the drivers who ride my tail on the highway and the enemy who rides my tail on the highway of life. (Does anybody else besides me hear a trumpet solo?)

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rules of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:10-12)

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world." (1 Peter 5:8-9)

Years ago, I used to try to make drivers go faster, too, and sometimes I still do it (e.g., if the driver is going 55 in a 60 and I'm running late for work). But I try to do so from a relatively safe distance. Many years ago, when I had my first wreck, I learned firsthand how dangerous it can be to drive way too close to another car's tail on the highway. I don't think every driver has learned this lesson yet.

Last weekend, I took a daytime road trip to visit a relative. From what I can remember, I was already going 9 miles over the speed limit (because the police usually begin to issue tickets at 10-11 miles over the limit), and I was in the fast lane because I knew I was going to pass people who were going slower than I was. But I would still get tailgated. Sorry, but I'm not going to risk getting a speeding ticket just so you can go 20 miles over the limit and supposedly never get caught. And I'm also not going to slam on my brakes so that you can rear-end me, which is automatically your fault in Texas, even though it can be very tempting to do just out of spite. But honestly, tailgater, I know that as soon as I get out of your way, you are going to zip past me at the speed of light and never be heard from again. I can't take it personally, because I know you bully everybody like that on the highway.

Yeah, that's right. A tailgater is a highway bully. A tailgater may not push me around and make me give them my lunch money. A tailgater may not parade around my desk at school and say, "Ooo, you scared of me." A tailgater may not prompt me to report a sexual harassment incident to my employer. But a tailgater bullies.

A highway bully invades your space, violates your boundaries, and disrespects your safety. One false move from either of you, and both of you are toast, or possibly all the other drivers on the highway are in danger as well. Even after decades of road trips and years of driving in the Metroplex, highway bullies still annoy me, scare me, and anger me.

And yet, I think I know how to handle them. As soon as I see an opening in the next lane, I signal and move over, and the highway bully claims the fast lane and leaves me alone. When I was a kid, my relatives used to yell in Spanish at speeders, "¡Váyase y mátese!" That is basically a Spanish command that means, "Go on and kill yourself!" My relatives were quite gracious, weren't they? (Sarcasm.) Of course, my relatives would usually get mad at the actual people who would offend them on the roads. It took me a while to understand that my battle isn't against people; it's against demonic forces that influence the people, just like Ephesians 6 explains.

Yes, a highway bully's behavior reminds me of the devil. He suddenly shows up in your rearview mirror and threatens to plow into you if you don't get out of his way. You think you can let him abuse his highway power for a little while, but then you realize that if you give him an inch, he'll take a million miles. He won't leave you alone until you resist him. So, the first chance you have to escape, you move away from him and let him zip away from you at the speed of light, aimed for his next ready-to-be-devoured target. Whew. Relief! Exasperation! Thankfulness! Peace! The highway bully is gone, and you have to keep an eye on your rearview mirror in case another bully decides to repeat the process.

And yet, it's a helpful process to familiarize yourself with.

I've mentioned previously that I used to be heavily influenced by a Jezebel spirit (both as a power-hungry controller and as the victim of a power-hungry controller). Jezebel is basically a bully. Even though I was the victim of bullies, I still have all these bullying skills inside me. Whatever am I to do with them? (Sarcasm.)

Yeah, that's right. God redeems pretty much anything you let Him redeem. My spiritually abusive/abused past has warped my perception of prayer, but one thing that God has been using to unwarp it is spiritual warfare.

So, the devil is my enemy. One way I can fight him is to resist him (like it says in James 4:7), and I'm not sure I'm actually doing this correctly or safely, but I enjoy bullying demons sometimes when I pray. "Uh-uh. You stay away from my friend. I bind you in Jesus' name, and I command you to go to hell and stay there forever." "Wait a minute. This is a spirit of infirmity. No way. You stay the [bleep] away from my friend. Get the [bleep] [bleep] away from her. I don't care what you do to me. You leave her alone, in Jesus' name." "No way. I'm not going to take this. In Jesus' name, get the heck out of here. You're not welcome here. Uh-uh." I haven't heard God rebuke me yet for tailgating hell. But that might just be my personal style. Yeah, that's right. Hell isn't welcome in my house, in my life, or in my friends' lives.

But I definitely can't do spiritual warfare on my own strength. It definitely isn't my physical muscles that bully the bullies away from me or my friends. It's the Holy Spirit -- the One who's powerful enough to raise Jesus from the dead -- who empowers me. I use His power. He doesn't tailgate me. He just hands over His tools and lets me use them. And I think He likes it. At least, I hope He likes it, because I like it.

The highway is a dangerous place. It's important to know what the rules are, where the boundaries are, where the other drivers are, and where the rest stops are. It's important to watch out for bullies. And it's important to know who created the highway in the first place. Don't mess with His children.

And don't mess with Texas. (Does anybody else besides me hear a guitar solo?)