Sunday, August 16, 2015

Jalapeños, last straws, and tough love

One day earlier this summer, I noticed that the sandwich artist (at a Subway where I had previously ordered many sandwiches) put jalapeños in my sandwich. I ordered banana peppers, not jalapeño peppers. I don't remember exactly what was going through my head that day -- if I saw the jalapeño catastrophe happening right before my eyes and was too polite or too hungry to say anything about it, or if perhaps I thought I would just try eating it for the sake of embarking on a new sandwich adventure. But now I was back at the company breakroom, and my lunchtime was almost over, and I couldn't just ask the Subway people to fix their mistake. (Perhaps if the sandwich artist had been paying more attention to me and less attention to her personal family drama which she doesn't have a problem freely sharing with customers, this wouldn't have happened.) Those jalapeños in my sandwich offended me, even after I picked them out of my sandwich and threw them away. This half-Hispanic chick doesn't mind jalapeños in her food from time to time. I just don't think they belong in a sandwich. Since that wasn't the first time this particular Subway had rubbed me the wrong way, I decided to never return there. (And I haven't.)

In that moment, God told me, "Sometimes you need a last straw."

A similar thing happened when I sat down to unwrap a lunch that I had just picked up from the Schlotzsky's drive-thru. I ordered salt and vinegar chips, but they gave me jalapeño chips instead. (What is it with jalapeños infiltrating my lunches without my permission?) So, that was my last straw for that particular Schlotzsky's... not counting the 15-20 minute wait times that had become common at the drive-thru or another way they messed up my order in the past. I mean, forgiveness is one thing, but realizing that there are dozens of other lunch spots in the vicinity competing for my business is another.

I'm still trying to figure out if me waiting for a "last straw" to initiate change in my life is a good thing or a bad thing.

The reason I had been venturing to restaurants for lunch (instead of bringing my lunch, which is always cheaper) was because I couldn't take it anymore in the company breakroom. Again, I'm not sure why the constant aroma of poop wafting from the nearby men's room, or my boss telling me "I've told you that if you want a private lunchroom, you can close this door" while he closes the breakroom door so that I will be all by myself and feel even more lonely and isolated than I already am, or my coworkers interrupting my lunch break (while I'm trying to relax and regroup) to ask me work-related questions that can wait until I'm back on the clock... I'm not sure why any of those things weren't enough of a catalyst to get me to eat lunch off campus, but somehow the boss' pantless son always peeking his nose into my meal and announcing to his wife what I was eating was my last straw.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I think growing up in an abusive environment gave me a very high tolerance for crap. Again, I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm guessing it's the latter. And I'm learning how to recognize red flags sooner and do something about them sooner.

I mean, submitting to authority is one thing, but escaping an oppressive environment is another. Just ask any immigrant who has ever sought refuge in a free country.

This is my last week at that job, hence my obsessive processing/reflecting. I'm still going to keep my guard up and be ready for anything. I mean, any company run by a boss who openly shames his wife for her mistakes in front of the entire company would be a place where I would need to watch my step, right? When I first started working there, I was told that the boss treats his employees like family. Yes, he does. And I have learned a valuable lesson while working there: Every good tyrant has an army of enablers behind him.

To celebrate my last days there, I have been planning to eat most of my lunches in the breakroom. I think it's easy to enjoy life in a certain space when you don't feel trapped there.

"When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when a wicked man rules, the people groan." (Proverbs 29:2)

I think Pharaoh, Moses, and the Israelites were also in a sort of three-way tug-of-war of last straws. In the Israelites' case, their oppression involved literal straw, but that's beside the point. Pharaoh kept pushing and pushing the Israelites to spin straw into gold (metaphorically speaking) until God heard their cries for help, He brought Moses and Aaron over to Egypt, and He even hardened Pharaoh's heart so that he wouldn't let the people go. Pharaoh's last straw was that last plague where all the firstborn in Egypt were killed unless they had followed God's blood-on-the-doorpost instructions.

Life wasn't a rose garden after the Israelites escaped their oppression in Egypt, either. They sinned by creating and worshiping a golden calf, God put His foot down and created the Ten Commandments (that we all still have to follow today), He killed some Israelites who sinned against Him, and He also almost killed Moses in the process.

Wow. God is love, but He's also a God of tough love.

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." (Galatians 6:7-8)

I think King David could also vouch for this. After he married Bathsheba (which he used his kingly authority to do, after sleeping with her, impregnating her, and arranging for her husband to be killed), God was like, "I love you, but you opened the door to violence in your house, and now your little baby son will die, too."

I like how the Bible gives so many gory details about heroes like King David. It encourages me that I don't have to be sinless in order for God to love, favor, and want me. King David made some enormously terrible mistakes, but he repented, and God honored him enough to publish his songs in the Bible, to refer to him as a man after His own heart, and to entrust his lineage with welcoming His only begotten Son into the world.

As loving, gracious, and favoring as God is, He is still serious about us living life His way. Perhaps one way that He loves us is being firm enough to steer us in the right direction.

"For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable." (Romans 11:29)

God showed me several years ago that He designed me to be a worship pastor. I'm very cool with that. I understand that this more than likely won't happen for me vocationally for a very long time. I'm cool with that, too. I also understand that God has been using the experiences I've had throughout my life to shape me into the person He wants me to be. I'm definitely cool with that as well.

I believe it was when I took a home ec class many years ago that I was told that children prepare for their future during their playtime. For example, a future teacher might play "school" with friends and/or dolls. A future healthcare professional might play "nurse" with family members and/or dolls/toys.

I used to want to be a novelist. When I was about seven years old, I figured out where the letters were on the worn-out ancient typewriter at our house, and I would sit down and write stories. Now I earn my living by writing and editing.

Recently, when I wondered how my childhood playtime foreshadowed my future as a worship pastor, I remembered playtime as a four-year-old. Our family owned a white kitten named Puff. I would carry him while marching around in a circle in the garage (more than likely while I was singing). Puff had issues. He hated being carried, and he would violently scratch me and anyone else who would try to play with him. He eventually ran away.

I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but I think working with stubborn animals is very good training ground for being a pastor.

In my current life with Macho and his health issues, I hope I have been reflecting God's heart of tough love. Almost two weeks ago, when I had a lot of trouble getting Macho to eat, he was really deteriorating, I was wondering how much longer he had to live, and I was considering the possibility of putting him down. So, I stopped sugarcoating everything, and I just confronted him. (Yes, I know he's a cat, and I know he may not understand English, but still.) It was almost like that scene in The NeverEnding Story where Atreyu tries to keep his horse Artax from sinking into the Swamps of Sadness. I was exhausted, I was frustrated, and I was grieving, so I just went for it. I wasn't threatening. I was just being real. I told Macho, "I don't want to lose you like this. If you're not going to try, then I'm going to take you to the doctor and have her put you to sleep. I'm going to take you to the doctor and have her kill you."

 
So, now he's eating up a storm. (He may not speak English, but he knows me.) I hope I wasn't too hard on him, but I guess it worked. I'm still taking it a day at a time, and I'm still keeping a close watch on him, but it's good to see him get a little bit of his swashbuckling energy back.

God is very gentle and kind, but He's also incredibly firm. Awhile back when I was wrestling with an opportunity that I'd been given, God kept telling me, "You're a teacher. Get over it." Last week at church while my pastor was preaching a sermon about discovering and using your spiritual gifts, God told me, "You're a pastor. Get over it." This week, He said, "You're a shepherd. Get over it." No problem, Papa.

Of course, you have to understand Who's talking to me. If anyone else were to talk to me that way, it might rub me the wrong way, like jalapeños in a sandwich. But this is the God of the universe -- the One who always has time for me, who always shows up for me, who always defends me, who always comforts me, who always chooses me, who always favors me, who always graciously pours out His goodness on me. He's the Boss, and I trust Him. He can talk to me however He wants.

As always, thank you for reading. Now if you'll excuse me, I must stop typing so that I can feed someone who is stalking me for his snacky.

 

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