Sun and shield

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (Jesus talking in John 10:10)

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." (Psalm 84:11)

During my yearslong walk with the Holy Spirit, one thing I've noticed in the body of Christ is a pressure to live the "abundant life" that John 10:10 talks about. Yes, of course Jesus wants us to live an abundant life. He said that that's why He came. But what exactly is "abundant"? Is it synonymous with "happy" or "carefree" or even "whitewashed"?

Unfortunately, usually when I tell somebody that I'm just living life, doing mundane things, and surviving, I feel like I'm disappointing whoever it is I'm talking to. I mean, what's so "abundant" about trudging through a mere existence?

Plenty. Oooh, wait. Isn't "plentiful" synonymous with "abundant"?

Yes, of course Jesus wants us to be happy. Of course He wants us to walk in joy and peace and all the fruits of the Spirit. Of course He wants us to live a chaos-free life where a thousand fall at our side and ten thousand at our right hand, and we're too busy being joyful and peaceful that we don't notice the craziness happening around us. Of course He wants us to enjoy His shelter and His presence, and to be overflowing with Him.

But have you taken a look at the context of John 10:10? Jesus is talking about sheep being shepherded away from thieves and wolves. That sounds like surviving to me. As Billy Joel would say, "I found that just surviving was a noble fight." I think to a degree, God would agree with that.

During my commute home from work a while back, I took a new route, and I drove west while the sun was setting. That was blinding! It was sort of a scary experience hoping everything around me was still OK while I was going at least 60 mph on a highway during rush hour in blinding conditions.

I got to thinking about that verse in Psalm 84 -- God is my sun and shield. He's my sun, which I can count on to shine regardless of how dark it is around me. And He's my shield, which I can count on to protect me 24/7. But I wonder if that verse is saying that God is my sun and shield simultaneously? If so, I think I experienced what such a phenomenon must be like during my westward commute. I think the blindingness of the sun IS a shield. If I were in the middle of a battle and I needed help, I would love it if the sun would show up and blind my enemy, creating a shield while I would make my escape.

I think there's a very nice example of this in Genesis 19. When two angels visited Lot, while he was living in Sodom, the men of the city basically demanded for Lot to let them gang-rape the angels. But just when the situation seemed the most dire, the angels struck the men with blindness. I think you could say that God showed up with a sun, of sorts, that created a blinding shield for the angels, Lot, and everyone who was inside his house (a sun and shield, like Psalm 84). I think you could also say that the Shepherd showed up and protected His sheep from being stolen, killed, and destroyed (like John 10:10). I think God cares tremendously about our survival. Survival is NOT a trivial thing.

Throughout my life, people have demanded smiles from me and a forgetfulness of my pain while I've been walking through very hard things. Instead of a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or even a fist to sucker-punch my enemy, I was given mini-lectures about how I'm supposed to smile. I wonder what these people would say about me being excited about simply surviving my commute to work in one piece. Do they understand what it's like to fight through an emotion so hard that the mundaneness of life is a soothing therapy in and of itself? As Billy Joel would say, "You have no scars on your face, and you cannot handle pressure." (Did you know that he attempted suicide many, many years ago, and that he's dealt with depression, too? I think maybe he knows what he's talking about.)

Speaking of commuting to work, I had a very interesting conversation with my boss today. She said that I'm off probation and that I've been doing a good job. This news is bittersweet, of course, because while I'm happy to still have a paycheck, I'm glad that my employer can't see the deep place inside my heart that hates my job with a flaming hot passion and that I'm still trying to get out of there. I'm very thankful that God has given me favor there while coaching me on how to maneuver through it. (When He tells me to smile during a meeting, I smile. When He says to smile and nod, I smile and nod. As ABBA would say, "I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string.") My boss said that she's seen a change in me during the past two months. I replied that this is the first job I've had where I've been on probation, so I threw everything I had "into the pot" and that I guess I just needed "a good kick in the pants."

What I was trying to articulate was that I felt like I didn't have anything to lose, so I just went for it and gave it all I had. Trials can do that to you. Will you sink, or will you swim? Will you let the enemy steal, kill, and destroy you, or will you punch his lights out and claim your abundant life? Will you lose, or will you win?

If you're going to win, you're going to need some help from your Sun and Shield. I think blinding the enemy is one of His countless specialties. I wonder if maybe redemption is one way that my Sun and Shield activates Himself. For instance...

The enemy sees Tirzah from afar. He smells the aroma of a Jezebel spirit. "Aha!" he thinks. "I know exactly how to trap her." So, he slithers into her range of view and speaks quietly to her. Gently, as if obeying a siren's call and forgetting to plug up her ears with wax, she cradles her enemy's face in her hands. "Ahhh," he thinks. "I've got her exactly where I wan-- Wait." He sniffs the Jezebel spirit's aroma more deeply. "It's been... PERMANENTLY DEACTIVATED???" With a sinister smile and a fiendish gleam in her eye, Tirzah grips her enemy's face more tightly as she gouges his eyes out in her strong womanly hands that reenact a scene from Blade Runner. "I see the Sun and Shield doesn't have a problem with me blinding you, does He?" she declares with a raspy triumph in her voice. "Yeah, that's right. I know how you operate, you slimy jerk. Get behind me where you belong." (As Queen would say, "She's a killer queen, gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam.")

I think there are lots of ways to get back at the devil. Sometimes charging at him with Bible verses and binding him works. Other times praying for somebody's salvation works even better. Still other times, simply getting out of bed in the morning and showing up for life -- the abundant life -- is the perfect "screw you" to him.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate him? Have I talked lately about the One who permanently overcame him?

I don't care if I don't pray the exact words I need to pray every time I need to pray. I don't care if my sword feels too heavy for me when it's time for me to grip it and start swinging. I don't care if spiritual warfare is too dangerous for a frail little flower like me who likes to stay in one piece. I don't care if I'm the most awkward person in the universe when it comes to following spiritual warfare rules. I belong to Jesus, and that should be enough. He gave me authority, and I want to use it. I want my abundant life, and I don't care if I'm carefree or if I'm in the depths of despair. I know who my Sun and Shield is, and He's going to help me survive.

I've heard a saying that goes, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." I don't completely agree with that. Sometimes that which does not kill us can give us a terminal illness that could leave us injured, damaged, and bitter. Sometimes that which does not kill us can discourage us so deeply that we could turn away from the only One who can truly help us. But sure, I agree that walking through hard stuff can make us very tough -- not heart-hardened but able to handle pressure. I think it's possible to be tough and soft simultaneously. I think Jesus is the best example of this particular phenomenon.

And I think I understand why people get tattoos and piercings. Maybe it isn't a cry for attention or a rebellion against normalcy as much as it is a way of saying, "I know how to take pain, 'cause I've been through some stuff."

Check it out. I think Somebody else in scripture has a very important tattoo, so to speak.

"Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS." (Revelation 19:15-16, talking about Jesus)

The enemy sees Tirzah from afar. He smells the aroma of an orphan spirit. "Aha!" he thinks. "I know exactly how to set her up to destroy herself." So, he slithers up behind her but suddenly stops in his slime-trail. With determination, Tirzah hoists herself up into the lap of the only One who her enemy has never been able to corrupt. With chubby toddler hands, she climbs up into her Father's embrace and coos, "Daddy, tell me a story about how You're going to throw the devil into the lake of fire..." And as if she is suddenly aware of her enemy's presence in the room, she turns to him with a fiery gleam in her eye and finishes her sentence with daggers shooting out of her mouth: "PERMANENTLY." In horror, her enemy sniffs the orphan spirit's aroma more deeply and thinks, "It's... IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REFURBISHED???" With a sinister smile, she forms on her lips the Name that her enemy has always dreaded to hear: "Jesus." Instantly, her enemy is blinded in his tracks. Moments later, he awakens groggily. To his dismay, he is bound and gagged somewhere in a dark place.

Never mess with a daughter of the King. Never.