Young lions

"The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing." (Psalm 34:10)

When Macho was a kitten, he helped me understand this verse. Technically, he's a 14-year-old cat now, and he's more of an old tiger than a young lion.

But when he was a kitten, I wasn't his owner. I was friends with his owner, and I would sleep over at her house sometimes. (I was clinically depressed and afraid of my apartment, and she enjoyed hosting me in her spare bedroom. I don't think either of us had 8-to-5 jobs. Good times.) When I would wake up in the mornings, Macho would stand on his hind legs and look out the windows that stood about two feet off the floor. At first, I thought he was just admiring the beauty of nature in the mornings. Sigh. Sensitive cat. But then I discovered that a flock of birds would visit the back lawn in the mornings. That meant that Macho wasn't really admiring nature. He was window-stalking his prey. Arrrgh. Hunter cat.

I believe it was sometime after I moved into that house as a roommate that I witnessed another window-hunting phenomenon. Suddenly, without warning, Macho leapt from the couch onto the window blinds in pursuit of a squirrel. Of course, Macho just dangled there (and the blinds had a permanent droop after that incident), and his owner screamed, and the squirrel remained safe outdoors, and I think I probably laughed my head off.

14 years later, he's still perpetually hungry. In this current photo that I shared (which was miraculously not photo-bombed by my Siamese puma), I got him to look at the camera by saying something food-related ("dinner," I think). Macho would rather have Purina than catnip, and his genuine bottomless pit of a hunger never ceases to amaze (or surprise) me.

"So I wept much, because no one was found worthy to open and read the scroll, or to look at it. But one of the elders said to me, 'Do not weep. Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has prevailed to open the scroll and the loose its seven seals.' " (Revelation 4:4-5)

Technically, Jesus is the Lion of Judah. So technically, since Jesus is like my Big Brother, and God is my Father, I'm like a young lioness.

I'm not talking personalitywise. My personality is definitely NOT a lion, at least in the sense that I am NOT, in general, a driven, take-charge, results-oriented person. I'm more of a... wait. I'm sorry. What was I saying? I distracted myself by imagining a river of caramel flowing through my imagination. Hmm. That reminds me of a Billy Joel song. That was actually playing loudly on the radio of a car that drove past the beautiful coin laundromat the other day. Sigh.

Wait. What was I saying? That's right. Personalitywise, I'm not a lion. And yet, I can very much relate to the ferocious hunger that young lions feel. And there is a ferocious wildness inside me that rises up at very interesting times. I think some people may call her "Mama Bear," but I prefer to call her "The Snarling Shepherdess."

I think she usually shows up whenever her "young" are threatened. Recently, while I was in my kitchen, I saw a small roach sprint across a sink or counter, and I heard myself chanting, "Oh, I don't think so" repetitively like a deranged exterminator while I grabbed a nearby napkin or paper towel to introduce the roach to its Maker. (I'm 100% secure in my femininity, but I am so NOT a girl when it comes to handling pests.) Creepy-crawly intruders, I'm sorry, but you're trespassing, and you will NOT be allowed to stay in my home or come anywhere near my babies. So, don't mess with the shepherdess.

The Snarling Shepherdess showed up suddenly today at work, too, and she stayed with me during my entire shift. As soon as I checked my email this morning, a project leader pounced on a new trainee and broadcast her mistakes and my mistakes to more than one person on my team. OK, so unnecessarily criticizing me in front of my peers is one thing. However, mercilessly shaming an innocent "young" coworker is another thing altogether. I replied as diplomatically as I could (and possibly a bit too wildly) that I would appreciate it if the project leader wouldn't air out our mistakes in front of everybody in the future. Later, I found out that another coworker -- one who is "young" senioritywise and a very strong, productive, dedicated worker -- had quite possibly been on probation, too, judging from her "If you don't like my work, you can fire me" joke. Excuse me, extremely terrible employer? Threaten MY coworkers with the same crap you pulled on me? Oh, I don't think so. Oh, I don't think so. Oh, I don't think so. Oh, I don't think so. Oh, I don't think so.

It's funny how much a situation can change in a matter of seconds. One day, I'm fighting off the temptation to cut myself because I know I won't live up to my manager's expectations. The next day, I'm ready to bite my manager's head off for bullying my coworkers. Oh, I don't think so. You stay away from my "young" ones, Your Incompetentness.

So, all that to say, I can definitely understand how aggressive young lions can be. When they get hungry, they're out for blood. They don't care what it looks like, sounds like, or smells like -- they're gonna take somebody out, and it's gonna be quick, and they won't have time to barbecue because they'll be too busy scarfing it down raw.

Psalm 34:10 says that even these crazy-brave, wild creatures, these young lions, despite their ferocious attempts at locating food... even these young lions will lack and suffer hunger. But those who seek the Lord won't lack any good thing.

Even if I were to ferociously stalk the choicest of meats in the entire universe, I would STILL come up short. But if I were to (benignly) ferociously stalk the Lion of Judah and pounce on Him, I'll find Him, and I won't lack any good thing, because He'll make sure I have everything I need. Shucks. He IS everything I need.

Even the young lions LACK. They STARVE. But if I seek God, I won't lack. I won't starve. Psalm 23:1 confirms this. Matthew 5:6 confirms this.

Even the young lions, with their driven, take-charge, results-oriented personalities, lack and suffer hunger. But regardless of my personality, even the one that likes to serenade God my Father with Queen songs, if I seek Him, I won't lack or suffer hunger. I won't be disappointed. I won't be ashamed. I am the champion, my friend, and I'll keep on fighting till the end. No time for losers, 'cause I am the champion of the world.

Because Jesus is the Conqueror. I am more than a conqueror. He's the Lion of Judah. I'm a young lion who won't lack or suffer hunger, because I'm seeking God. He's a lot of fun to talk to during a long commute home. I like Him. I want to hang out with Him forever.

In the middle of the night (middle of the night) I go walking in my sleep (I go walking in my sleep).