YOLO

In this post, I'm going to throw a bunch of mostly unrelated things together, but I hope they'll work well together. (Sort of like stir-fry.) And in case you need a slang translation, the title of this post is an abbreviation for "you only live once."

On an episode of one of my favorite shows, Everybody Loves Raymond, Debra confronts ultra-controlling Marie about keeping her house sterile and abnormally clean. Raymond nervously supports Debra's argument: "There's china that we never use, and there's towels that we never touch. It's like you're saving everything for a special occasion that hasn't happened yet." Frank chimes in about the accessories that are only available to house guests: "What are those little towels with the gold fringe for? For when the Pope comes over here to use the downstairs can?" If I remember correctly (I think this is from a different episode, about a different subject), Frank says, "I'm 65 years old. What are you saving it for?"

Before I sang in the choir at my church for Christmas 2014, God basically told me, "What are you saving it for?" Before I served in the choir for Christmas 2015, He basically said again, "Don't hold anything back."

That's kind of been the theme of my life lately: Don't hold anything back; what are you saving it for?

At work, I totally pour myself into my job; if anything lands on my desk, it will receive the full Tirzah treatment, where Tirzah will run with the opportunity to offer feedback. (Unless, of course, it's for a certain type of assignment that I've already done a dozen times, and I already know that a certain type of feedback isn't welcome; in that case, I'll save my energy for the next assignment.) In friendships, although I am ultra-cautious, if someone opens the door for me to get to know them very closely, and if I feel comfortable doing so, I'm going to run with the opportunity to bond with a potential lifelong friend. (In my lifetime, I've seen friends come and go; why not love on them while they're right there under my nose?) In romantic relationships, well... I haven't had one since 1994, but there is a certain window of opportunity that a guy has to pursue a woman before she loses interest in him completely; and since I've almost 100% decided that I'm going to remain single for the rest of my life here on earth, I think that window of opportunity has pretty much closed for me. (Sorry. You snooze, you lose.)

But lately, my biggest reminder of the fleetingness of life here on earth has been my cat Macho. If you read my blog last summer (especially here and here), perhaps you know that he's almost used up all of his nine lives.

 

Once I realized that Macho's life was fragile and could end at any moment, I started relaxing some of the rules/boundaries that I had set up in my home. For example, instead of not allowing him to perch on my pillow in the mornings, I let him hang out there while he waits for me to wake up and feed him. I also let him use (shred) my couch as a nail-sharpener. And once in a while, instead of insisting that he only eat cat food, I will give him a tiny sample of my own meal. In the above photo, I shared a piece of a Chicken McNugget with him. (He didn't know how to eat it, so he licked it like a Popsicle.) It sure is relieving to see that his appetite has been restored.

A few minutes ago, he nudged my laptop out of the way so that he could snuggle on my lap, so I made room on my lap for both my computer and his purring self.

I first met him about 16 years ago when a friend called me and invited me over to meet an orange kitten that she had just acquired at PetSmart. When I arrived at her house, she opened her front door, and he looked right at me and meowed. I'm not exactly sure what happened right after his initial friendliness, because he is extremely shy and skittish around strangers now, and it took me a long time to get him used to human affection. After I became his owner, while he has been around me, he has been a pig for affection and attention.

I've decided to love on Macho as much as I can while I still have him. I hope he gets to live for another 16 years, but regardless of how long I have him, I don't want to hold anything back. Seriously, what am I saving it for? One recent evening, I was late for choir rehearsal because I had run home to check on him. The other day, I was late for a get-together with friends because I started dancing with Macho, and then he didn't want me to stop. (I would say that he likes The Gipsy Kings, but I suspect that he really just likes it when I hold him close.) Next week when my church will have special evening services, I'm thinking about watching a couple of them online at home so that I can feed my babies and let them snuggle with me if they like. Sorry. Family comes first.

This attitude isn't one that I was raised with. I think it's one that I've been taught/shown by my Heavenly Father.

 

A couple of weeks ago while I was doing laundry, I popped over to a nearby drugstore and bought some chocolate. Yes, I was PMS-ing and was in a rather bad mood. I gobbled up half a chocolate Santa in my car before I realized that that was a bloggable moment.

I remembered an incident that happened when I was a kid, maybe about 10 years old. We lived close to a Revco drugstore, and for some reason our family would often shop there after they would pick us up from school. (I think we even shopped there for presents on Christmas Eve 1985.) One year after Easter, I noticed that all of the chocolate was on sale; it was ultra-cheap and on display near the front of the store. So, my sister and I went crazy and bought a ton of chocolate after our grandfather had picked us up from school. Our mother found out about it and got mad. I'm not exactly sure why she was angry about us buying one-cent or five-cent chocolate bunnies with our own money, but I guess sometimes a childhood memory won't make sense for me until I remember that I was raised by wolves. (We were young women who had finally acquired a chocolate stash. That would have been the perfect opportunity to teach us how to manage our sweet treats.)

I think purchasing those chocolates at 90-95% off was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I don't see prices that that anymore.

I would like to offer a disclaimer/balance to everything that I just said. By seizing the most of every opportunity, because YOLO on this earth, I am not talking about hedonism (worshiping the pursuit of your own happiness instead of worshiping God). And I'm not talking about casting off all restraint, being impatient, or neglecting self-control (because God definitely wants us to have patience and self-control, which are fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23). And I'm not talking about God's timing, which can be completely different from ours (which I think Isaiah 55:8-9 can vouch for). And I'm not talking about the fact that God gives us second, third, fourth, fifth, and zillions of chances to make our lives right with Him and to live life on this earth His way (2 Peter 3:8-9).

But what I am talking about is, well... I think God already said it best:

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it." (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Last year, God told me that I needed to play video games, so I've been going for it. (It involves me relearning how to entertain myself, which I might write more about later.) Lately, while I've been spending a lot of time playing games on my phone (especially Bejeweled), I've learned some stuff about gaming and competition. (When I'm with other people, I'm not usually very competitive, but when it's just Tirzah vs. the computer, it's on, baby.)

First of all, a video/computer game is meant to place you inside a completely different world for a while. You can shoot something, steal something, eat something, earn something, win something, and be victorious at something. If you lose, you can yell at something that will never hear you and will never yell back. The experience is often cathartic and addicting.

I think advertisers know that they will have our attention for a while, so they are smart enough to advertise their products while we are playing our games... although I'm not sure that they always research their audiences very well. (I heard a few years ago that some of the games are so addicting that some of the hardcore gamers forget to eat, so the games have some kind of button that you can click on to order pizza. And yet, on Bejeweled I kept seeing an ad for binge-eating disorders. Um, sorry. Does not compute. If I have a game in my hands, there isn't any room for me to hold any food.) But I can't blame them for trying. You gotta strike while the iron is hot.

Secondly, even when you're playing your game, you can still stay connected to God. I've spent a lot of time over the years letting huge wads of issues unravel in my brain/heart and talking to God about them while I've played video/computer games. (After you've played a few times and know what you're doing, the game can fade into the background while you get to chat with your Friend.)

Thirdly, video/computer games are nice because you can always pause them or reset them. After you hear or see the dreaded words "GAME OVER," you can always start a brand-new game, as long as your battery is charged or plugged in. And if you ever get bored with one game, you can always download or switch to another one.

And yet at the same time, when an opportunity to make a certain play/move comes along, you have to recognize it, grab it, and run with it. Otherwise, that exact opportunity may never come again.

I think the life that God created for us here on earth -- this very special world -- is similar. He's set us in certain places, around certain people, and designed us for certain tasks that need to be addressed (as He leads, of course, while we stay connected to Him as our Life Source) while they're right there under our noses. Otherwise, those exact opportunities may never come again. God is merciful and gracious, of course, and He gives us multiple chances to get it right. But there will come a day when the window of opportunity will close forever.

Meanwhile, I'm going to grab on tightly to my Father and let Him take me wherever He wants me to go. I don't plan on holding anything back. After all, what am I saving it for?

 

And I'm going to miss this little guy when it's finally his time to go.

This post turned out to be rather long. Thank you for running with the opportunity to read it. Happy New Year!