Spoiled

As part of the treatment of the kidney and bladder stones that were detected at Macho's previous vet appointment, Macho now eats a special formula food and takes antibiotics. Currently, I've been giving him the canned wet version of his new food. I do so by spreading each portion out on a dessert-sized paper plate (so I won't have to wish a dish), and I hold it for Macho while he eats it (so the paper plate won't fly all over the floor while he scrape-licks his food).

Is he spoiled? Perhaps in one sense, you could say so. But there's more.

Sometimes, I also smush some of Macho's new food onto my fingers/palm so that he can literally eat out of my hand. This comes in handy for whetting his appetite while simultaneously hiding his antibiotic pill in his food. (This is much easier, much more pleasant, and much less traumatic than forcing his mouth open and shoving in his pill.)

Yes, of course holding canned wet cat food in my hand is really gross. But when you love somebody, that's what you do -- you sacrifice your own time and comfort, roll up your sleeves, and get in their world for a little while. That's what you do when someone needs you. That's what you do when you care about someone.

"He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." (Proverbs 13:24)

Have you ever heard the saying "Spare the rod, spoil the child"? I'm sure it came from Proverbs 13:24. I'm not a parent, so I definitely don't have any authority or reason to tell parents how to discipline their kids. So, just making an honest observation, I'm sure that Proverbs 13:24 DOESN'T say, "Spare the time-outs, spoil the child" or "Beat the living daylights out of your child so that he or she won't become spoiled." And just making an honest observation about my own childhood, I definitely know that Proverbs 13:24 also DOESN'T say, "Showering all kinds of love on your child will spoil him or her."

I think the very concept of affection freaked out my birth mother. I don't ever remember her holding me and comforting me while I was crying -- not to say that she didn't do so when I was an infant, but it's just that I don't remember it. This lack of comforting affection is something that I really obsessed over and have really had to work through. This is something that God Himself has been healing in me.

When my birth mother was visiting me several years ago, and I happened to pick up Macho, my cat, and hug him like I always do (which he usually likes), my birth mother looked at me suspiciously and asked, "What happened?"

I think the fact that I had to explain to my own mother what loving another creature looks like... um, I think that alone could explain why I've been undergoing psychotherapy lately.

Just now while I was typing the previous paragraph, I heard Macho meow from the other room. Sometimes while he's napping, he suddenly wakes up and starts meowing, and he sounds frightened, as if perhaps he were having a nightmare, or perhaps he suddenly forgot where he was or wondered why the heck he was all by himself. He was originally acquired at PetSmart, so there's honestly no telling what kind of life he led before he became mine. Does dropping what I'm doing and assuring my cat of my presence, checking on his well-being, and doing my best to comfort him before he goes back to sleep -- does that constitute as spoiling him?

Maybe. But I guess it depends on your definition of "spoiled."

Going back to Proverbs 13:24, I think that whole "Spare the rod, spoil the child" concept of being spoiled means that if you're too afraid of your child to discipline him/her -- if you hate your child to the point that you couldn't care less about him/her growing up to become a responsible adult -- if you give your child way too much freedom where he/she needs boundaries, there's a strong chance that he/she could grow up to become "spoiled." In that sense, the child could become an adult who's used to getting his/her own way all the time, possibly dabbles in a life of crime, possibly has marital problems, possibly needs extensive psychotherapy, etc. From what I've heard about healthy parenting, it seems that a child who is disciplined by his/her parents grows up with the understanding that he/she is NOT the center of the universe, that there are consequences for his/her actions, and that his/her parent cares about him/her enough to say, "I love you, but what you're doing is wrong, and now I am going to spank you, put you in time-out, ground you, take away your allowance, or insert other preferred form of discipline here, so that you will know that I love you enough to follow through on this boundary that has been set just for you."

God does that all the time. I am writing this blog post not from an elaborate mansion, or not from a jail cell, or not from an organized-crime limo. I am writing from my cheap-rent apartment while I eat my bowl of Frito-laced dollar-store chili and wait to exit my metaphorical desert/wilderness. In terms of physical comforts, no, I'm not spoiled.

"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1a)

"The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:32)

"The eyes of all look expectantly to You, and You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing." (Psalm 145:15-16)

But in the sense of being treated like a princess, heck yes, God "spoils" me. I think He'll treat all His children that way, if they'll let Him. I completely deserved to die for my own sin, and instead of letting me simply burn in hell, Father God gave up His Son Jesus to die in my place. That's beyond... I'm sorry, my brain is about to explode because I can't even find words to express how much that shows that God loves me. And Jesus willingly gave up His own life for me. That means He loves me, too. And the Holy Spirit lives inside me and puts up with every thought I think, every move I make, every breath I breathe. That means He loves me, too. The fact that He counsels me, on top of already giving me everything I need and then some, on top of loving me when I absolutely don't deserve to be loved, on top of adopting me and making me His heir, on top of everything else... heck yes, I'm spoiled. But not rotten. When God infuses me with His love, His life, Himself, the result isn't rottenness. The result is holiness, strength, courage, peace, and hope. The result is love.

No, I'm not a mother, and yes, I'm just a cat owner. But does that stop me from lavishing tremendous love on my babies as if they were my children? No, I don't let them get away with murder, and yes, I have boundaries in place for them and try to discipline them as much as I can. But that's because I don't want my cheap-rent apartment to be ripped to shreds, and I want order in my home, and I don't want my cats to give in to their curiosity, experiment with foolish things, and hurt themselves. I love them, I want them, and I care about them.

I mean, do you see Macho complaining? (That's him lounging on my leg and foot. Ain't he adorable?)