Unemployment, part 7

Wait. Did I just put a picture of my garbage on the internet for all to see? Why, yes, I did. This is actually a fairly common sight in my life nowadays: a bag full of shredded documents that were taking up way too much precious space. I bought extra-cheap garbage bags for the occasion -- the kind that are too wimpy, wimpy, wimpy for hefty, hefty, hefty garbage but just the right consistency for the kind of junk I was throwing away. (And, not to mention, since I've been throwing away more cat-food cans than I usually do, I've had to visit the Dumpster more frequently.) That's why this garbage is shaped so irregularly. See? I know what I'm doing. I have a system.

And I don't think I'm the only One who has a system.

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven... a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6)

I was hoping to save part 7 of my unemployment blog-post series to say something like, "This is the last post! Yay, I found a job!" but nah. I'm still unemployed. In fact, one time recently when I was asking God for a job, He said, "You're not going to find a job until you're OK with waiting." When the God of the universe puts you on the spot like that, what do you do? The only thing you can do. Your heart invisibly stands at attention, salutes, and says something to the effect of, "Yes, Sir."

So, I'm OK with waiting.

Looking around at the current backdrop of my life, I don't think it's an accident that I happen to be unemployed right now. Yes, I am definitely still looking for a job (this chick needs to work!), but I've been involved in stuff that working 8-5 might get in the way of. My cats have had interesting health issues lately that I've needed to take care of. My mental health has been on the mend, and it's required me undergoing regular psychotherapy, and I plan to attend my last scheduled session later this week. I've still been selling things on eBay, and I've been reorganizing some stuff at home (which sometimes involves me making extra trips to the Dumpster).

I think maybe after the icky ordeal of my previous job, I've had to do some soul unraveling and detoxing. And in the process, I've learned and relearned some important things. I've learned that it's OK for life to be peaceful. I've learned that it's OK -- in fact, it's supposed to be normal -- for life to be still. I've learned that I like order. Yes, this creative, artsy-fartsy chick likes order.

And I don't think I'm the only Creative Being who likes order.

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." (Ephesians 5:15-16)

"So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)

I think time is an extremely important currency to God. Yes, of course He's forgiving, gracious, and loving. But He also means business. He's the most perfect, joyful, friendly Person you'll ever meet. But He's also the most serious Person you'll ever meet. When He sets aside a certain length of time, aka a season, I think He's very serious about it accomplishing a certain purpose, Ecclesiastes-3 style.

Being unemployed means that I can do crazy things on a Monday afternoon like go to the beautiful coin laundromat. While I was there today, the crowd was particularly interesting. A man and a woman in the background caught my attention... because they were talking so loudly. At first, I figured they were related to each other, because many people who visit the beautiful coin laundromat do so as a family event. Then it sounded like maybe he was interviewing her for a job, because she started talking about her education, e.g., "the school of hard-knocks." Then it sounded like maybe they were seriously flirting with each other, because I thought I heard him say, "You're mine," and I thought I heard her laugh and say, "Boaz! I need my miracle right now!"

Listening to this scene was more entertaining than watching television. I was trying to read a book, but I kept getting distracted by the life-entertainment. It was extremely hard for me to keep a straight face, even while I was trying to hide behind my book.

Yes, they were very religious people. He talked about having a ministry, and she talked about having a music ministry. She danced a little bit when she talked about praying over something and about the Holy Ghost, and then they both kept talking about the Lord. She got very excited and spoke in tongues for a little bit. Please understand that these people's voices were so loud that it was impossible to NOT eavesdrop. She explained to the man that she was all about "getting people saved." At one point, she even burst quite loudly into song.

My imagination went crazy, and I quickly decided to pretend that I didn't speak English if this lady decided to be a missionary to the lost in the laundromat right then and there. Perhaps today was her Sabbath, because she did not seek the lost while she was waiting for her clothes to wash and dry. At any rate, I was very relieved that this lady seemed too busy impressing her Boaz to do a spontaneous laundromat outreach to me or the innocent bystanders around me. I don't remember exactly if I asked God what to do, but while I was unloading a washer, He spoke to me, anyway: "You used to be that annoying."

Sigh. Yes. I definitely did.

I remember what it was like to be so supposedly on fire for the Lord that I was almost completely useless in His Kingdom. I mean, who wants to be around a clanging symbol? (Check out 1 Corinthians 13.) In the Bible, Jesus was very honest about who He was, but He was also very discreet about living His life here on earth. He was unashamedly the Light of the World, but he wasn't all LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, I'M SO AWESOME, I'M SO AWESOME, I'M SO AWESOME, I'M SO AWESOME, I'M SO AWESOME all the time, ya know? He was humble. He was meek. He was effective. (And He still is.)

At church this weekend, my pastor preached a very good sermon about spending your time and setting your priorities. He asked us to pray so that God could show us what our priorities were. I prayed, and God was like, "No, you don't need a schedule. You need to be flexible. I'll be your luckdragon. Stick with Me, and I'll take you where you need to go." Unless you're familiar with the movie The NeverEnding Story (which is my favorite), you may not understand what He meant. But I understood what He meant. In that movie, the protagonists sit on a luckdragon while he flies through the air and transports them throughout their land. This entire year, one theme that God has been teaching me is being flexible. Yes, unemployment is an ideal on-the-job training ground for flexibility.

Wait. Did the God of the universe just compare Himself to a movie character? Why, yes, He did. And it wouldn't be the first time He's done that with me. Yes, He knows exactly how to get through to me.

Yes, He wants me to climb on His back and just let Him take me wherever He wants to take me, even if I have to wait forever to finally find a job. And I'm OK with that. I really don't think He's in a hurry.

Last weekend at church, near the end of the service, I went to the altar to ask for prayer for a job. The lady (who did not know me) prayed very interesting things. In addition to praying for a job, she asked God to send me friends and a mentor. Hmm. These are things that I've blubbered to God about a TON in the past year or so. I don't think it's a coincidence that she prayed these things. (I don't really believe in coincidences.) I'm pretty sure she plugged into the Holy Spirit and let Him fly her around like a luckdragon, so to speak, while she was praying. And, again, I didn't get the impression that God was in any kind of hurry. I got the impression, again, that He knows exactly who I am and that He knows exactly what I need.

I think, like it says in Ecclesiastes 3, that sometimes we just need extended seasons when we let God take out the trash, metaphorically speaking. Otherwise, we could just be another annoyingly religious, loud-talking lady at the laundromat for the rest of our lives -- talking a good talk but possibly not really knowing how to walk a good walk at all.

Sometimes I just need to lean on God and let Him do all the fancy flying while I just hold on to Him and let Him go wherever He wants to go and take me wherever He wants to take me. It's hard to walk with a broken pair of legs, anyway.

Heck yes, He's better than a luckdragon.